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Thailand Musings I first went to Thailand in 1997 and immediately fell in love with the country. Thailand at that time to me was mysterious and exotic, full of potentials and pitfalls. Fast forward to 2010 and here I am after 13 years and many trips to the LOS sharing, with the help of my Thai wife Golf, my experiences and knowledge with you here at Thailand Musings. Thailand may have lost some mystery for me, but it is still exotic and wonderful and I will always remember that first feeling when I stepped out into the Bangkok smog for the first time. I have yet to learn everything about Thailand and thankfully for all of us Golf is here to correct me when I err.

25 January 2008 ~ 57 Comments

Why Do Thai Girls Marry Older Foreign Guys?

Several weeks ago I wrote a post “What Do You Want to Know About Thailand” and I got some very good questions. I know I’ve gotten a bit sidetracked since then and I still have a few questions hanging out there so I want to finish answering those and if anyone else has any questions about Thailand or Thai culture please go back to that post and leave a comment or contact us with your question. I’ll be posting all of the answers here at Thailand Musings so don’t forget to subscribe so you won’t miss any of the great questions and answers.

Here is another question regarding Thai culture and the willingness of Thai women to meet and marry significantly older western men. I find this a particularly good subject because it is exactly the question that Golf asked me when we first met on ThaiLoveLinks. I think her question went something like “Why do so many old guys try to chat the young girl on here”. Needless to say I took this a bit personally and felt it necessary to explain. The rest is history.

Question about age differences: Let’s face the facts, I am a 55 year old guy talking with a 30 year old Thai woman. I am well aware that I could produce children. But I may not be still around past age 75, who knows? And I could have ten year old kids when I reach retirement age. I do not want to put a woman and kids at risk, and can certainly make provisions for their support after I am gone. I’d be interested in any success or failure stories you have encountered regarding this. Of course, here in the US, this degree of age difference in marriage is relatively rare, and perhaps even somewhat scandalous. Not that I am ungrateful, but why is a large age span seemingly so acceptable for many Thai women?

Stories regarding Thai women and western men meeting and dating or marrying are very common on the internet and will run the gamut from wildly successful to depressing failures. Do a Google search for Thai women + foreign men and you’ll find hours of reading material. For success stories go to the testimonials of ThaiLoveLinks (where Golf and I met) or simply read about Golf and I. The International Herald has a good story about this subject as well. For failure stories you’ll find plenty, but most of them involve Thai bar girls. By meeting a good Thai girl you can avoid a lot of the common pitfalls you find on the internet.

The reason a large age span is acceptable is often very personal to the girls and I hate to generalize, but if I have to do so then there are several commonly accepted reasons that Thai girls date and/or marry foreigners so much older than themselves.

First, many Thai girls are looking for stability, both financial and in the relationship, and older foreign men are typically able to provide both. They are in general financially well off, especially by Thai standards and this is viewed as a definite positive. They are also more settled and less prone to wander than their Thai counterparts. Add to that the western cultural ideal of monogamy and they become even more attractive to Thai women who are used to seeing Thai men that are promiscuous and prone to having mistresses.

Thai Singer Tata YoungThai’s also value white skin very much and in fact those with darker skin are perceived to be of a lower class in Thai society. Typically children of Thai/western marriages tend to be much lighter skinned and thus more accepted in society. The Thai’s even have a name for such children of mixed parentage which is ‘Luk Kreung’ and literally means ‘child half”. You’ll find many famous Thai actors and models are luk kreung including pop singers Tata Young and Lanna Cumming.

One aspect that is often overlooked by westerners is that traditionally Thai marriages were often arranged by parents, not on the basis of love, but for mutual benefits between the families such as a property tie up or business merger. Westerners don’t understand this type of arranged marriage and often don’t consider this aspect of Thai culture yet it is very ingrained and accepted in Thailand. Because of this Thai women can sometimes view their bodies as property (Thai men view them this way as well which is a reason Thai women don’t care for Thai men) and as such have no problem using it to gain a better social or financial standing.

In the beginning the Thai girl may not even like her husband much, but over time a love and mutual respect grows. As the two get to know each other better an assimilation of each others culture begins to occur and the bonds between a Thai woman and her foreign husband can grow very strong. It’s good to understand these dynamics better, but I think we older western guys should just be thankful for our beautiful Thai ladies and not question too much. After all, it sure beats the alternative.

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About the Author

Steve started Thailand Musings in 2006 after meeting and marrying Golf on the site Thai Love Links. The site was started as a way to share information about Thailand, it's people, culture and traditions and has grown substantially since that time. As a long time visitor to the Kingdom Steve hopes you enjoy his thoughts and observations about Thailand and it's culture. He can be contacted here.

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57 Responses to “Why Do Thai Girls Marry Older Foreign Guys?”

  1. Jake 18 February 2008 at 1:58 am Permalink

    Why do flies like poop?

  2. thaieurope 17 May 2008 at 10:42 am Permalink

    Why rich famous westerners marry young farang girls?

  3. john 23 May 2008 at 1:55 pm Permalink

    just trying to find out how much it will cost to bring a thai girl over to stay permanently in uk if anyone could help that would b great

  4. Steve 7 June 2008 at 9:04 am Permalink

    Yes it seems quite obvious doesn’t it. Of course if both parties understand the motivations of the other in beginning the relationship I think it has a much better chance of success. The Thai girls I’m sure understand the motivation of the farang, but I think that sometimes we westerners don’t fully understand the motivation and mindset of the Thai girl.

    @ John – Since I’m from the U.S. I couldn’t comment reliably on how much it would cost to bring a girl to the U.K. as the immigration requirements are different. You should be able to find information about this on ThaiVisa.com

  5. COHEN CHAMBERS 15 July 2008 at 12:52 pm Permalink

    DEAR SIR AND GOLF,
    FIRST I THANK YOU FOR SPENDING YOUR TIME IN GIVING ADVISE AND

    GUIDANCE TO PEOPLE LIKE MYSELF ABOUT THAILAND.

    NEXT I AM AN AMERICAN VETERAN OF THE US ARMY AND US MARINES..[YES I

    LIKED THE MARINES MUCH BETTER ALTHOUGH I WAS A VERY PROUD

    PARATROOPER AND VIET NAM VETERAN IN THE ARMY]

    I AM INTERESTED IN GOING TO THE COUNTRY TO RETIRE BECAUSE OF

    COST HERE IN THE US. I GET A RETIREMENT CHECK FROM THE VA ITS A

    MODEST 941.00 PER MONTH I WANT TO COME THERE LIVE LEARN A NEW

    EASTERN CULTURE FIND A GREAT LADY WHO I CAN RESPECT LOVE COME

    HOME TO AND FEEL APPRICIATED WITH

    I AM BUT 57 Y/O I AM DISABELLED BUT A PART FROM WALKING A LITTLE

    SLOWLY YOUD BE HARD PRESSED TO TELL.

    ANYWAY ID LIKE A DECENT LADY OVER 35 TO SETTLE DOWN WITH TRAVEL

    LEARN THERE CULTURE AND OF COURSE. I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW COULD I

    SURVIVE ON THAT AMOUNT OF MONEY INCLUDING HEALTH CARE A MODEST

    SAY 2 BEDROOM APARTMENT AND EITHERA MODEST CAR OR MOPED THERE

    LASTLY I AM MIXED RACED. I AM BLACK IRISH, CHEROKEE INDIAN, IS IT

    SOCIETY PERMISSABLE FOR THE THI LADIES TO BE WITH WHAT APPEARS TO

    BE BLACK OR AS LONG AS A PERSON CONDUCTS THEMSELVES IN AN

    ACCEPTABE MANNER IT DOESNT MATTER.

    I ASK BECAUSE A LOT OF LADIES ASK FOR CAUCASIONS, AND I SAW

    SOMEWHERE TODAYS REAADINGS THAT THE LIGHTER A SKIN COLOR IS ITS

    CONSIDERED BETTER THEN DARKER SKIN SOO PLEASE ADVISE

    VERY SINCERLY COHEN CHAMBERS,

    PS SIR YOU BE GOOD ALWAYS TO GOLF YOU DO THE SAME FOR HIM GOD BLESS.

  6. Steve 15 July 2008 at 5:33 pm Permalink

    Hi Cohen,

    Thailand is definitely much cheaper than the U.S. to live. Not sure what your experience has been with other cultures, but I would guess from your background that it has been pretty diverse.

    I think you could live in Thailand on that amount better than in the U.S., assuming you’re not living in one of the major cities like Bangkok. Plus, having a Thai wife would help greatly in the provinces with many things from language to culture and even the simple day to day.

    I suppose you have two choices here. You could try Thai Love Links, you know I have a great opinion of their service, and see who you meet there first and then head off to Thailand to meet them in person. Or, you could simply plan a trip to Thailand and “get the lay of the land” while you’re there. Thailand is really cheap compared to the U.S. even with the weak dollar.

    The second way would probably be better as you could travel a bit and get a feel for different areas of Thailand as well as the costs associated with living there. In my experience once you get away from Bangkok and the tourist areas the costs are anywhere from 1/2 to 1/4 of what they are in the U.S.

    If you have additional questions please feel free to email me.

  7. Jasmine 23 July 2008 at 8:09 am Permalink

    At first , I would like to let you know that I’m a Thai lady . I met my husband from internet and moved to USA about 5 years ago , but my English still very poor. I hope you will understand me. I miss Thailand a lot I just want to moved back to Thailand. I think Thailand is easier to live than USA . My husband is would like to go to Thailand too , but he does not speck Thai so and he does not know what he will do for living. I have a sister in Thailand . She is a teacher and very beautiful . She would like to know someone who is willing to move to Thailand and of couse can support her financial too. How can I find someone for her.

  8. Steve 23 July 2008 at 6:47 pm Permalink

    Hi Jasmine and welcome to TM.

    I think you already know the answer to your question. Unless your sister lives in Bkk I think that there are limited chances for her to meet farang. Her best opportunity would probably be to meet someone on the internet as well, just as you did.

    I agree with you too that Thailand is much easier to live than the USA. I can’t wait for the time I am able to move back and neither can Golf. As far as your husband goes, I think there are opportunities for farang in Thailand, but it depends on his skills and temperment.

    Hope to see you around here more :)

  9. Phil 3 October 2008 at 11:12 pm Permalink

    I am married to a Traditional Thai woman. She is 44 and I am 60. We both love and respect each other very much and yes you are right ,those of us with beautiful Thai wives are very lucky farangs.

  10. Hoo Don 11 October 2008 at 2:46 am Permalink

    Living in England I know the old man with the young Thai wife scenario attracts a lot of snide and bitchy behind the back comments. I think they are very unjust remarks. Is there any difference between this and the rich 50 year old business man who marries the young beautiful English rose, I think not. These two women from different cultures are trying to quite simply make the best of their life, one is viewed as a money grabbing Asian, the other a beautiful young lady doing well in her life. Very unjust. Hoo Don.

  11. Gina 30 November 2008 at 6:49 pm Permalink

    Why do Thai girls marry older Western men????? Well it isn’t for their personality that’s for sure!

    Am I bitter – damned right I am – my husband of 30 odd years took up with one – she did not speak English – and her friend composed her e-mails for her – did not stop him sending money, paying for her daughter’s school, she has now given up work, she is set up in an apartment, and he has left his family for her!

    He has lost the respect of his children, people who knew him think he is a joke, as would I if it were not for the fact that he left me financially high and dry and now she is getting the benefit of my hard work which was for “our future”.

    She is the same age as our daughter

    Never mind – apparently she is different and loves him for him – ( still little English there)

    Yes people do smirk in Europe, when they see an old man with his young Thai girlfriend/wife – that’s the way it is – and for damn good reason.

    Just bear a thought for the families who have been abandoned and a lifetime devoted to family life on the part of some poor wife, thrown in her face

  12. nicky 3 January 2009 at 8:18 am Permalink

    To Jasmine, to my limited knowledge, their is a great demand in Thailand for native English teachers. Some schools accept teachers simply cos they r native speakers, others require qualifications. The good news is the vast majority of schools accept simply a TESOL/CELTA/TEFL (a basic teaching english as a foreign language qualification) which can be acquired in just 4 weeks.

  13. Kevin 7 January 2009 at 2:50 pm Permalink

    Gina (2 comments above) is to me the MAIN reason why any Asian women top ANY western women. Re-read that comment and you will see that really she is only thinking of herself (“…she is getting the benefit of my hard work…”). Lady, I guarantee you are a fat, bitchy women that was hard as hell to put up with for those LONG 30 years. I personally know hundreds of US men who outright refuse to marry a western woman. Western women had it all (love, respect, family, etc.)-then the second wave (1965) and third wave (1985) feminists completely ruined it for your gender. So don’t blame men (even though you will anyways). God bless Asian women – see you in the East! Oh yeah, and for those that are considering bringing an Asian women to the west – DON’T! They, our nanny governments, brainwash all foreign women arriving (so they know their special rights, that most western women just take as equality). So to answer the above question, many older western men just want stability, happiness, and to enjoy life [without the constant nagging]. Asian women can give you that, with the added benefit that they still look good and seem to smile a lot.

  14. MICKEY KAPOOR 24 January 2009 at 11:25 am Permalink

    I KNOW NOTHIN OF THAILAND BUT I HAVE LIVED IN MANILA AND I WANT TO NSETTLE IN THAILAND AND IAM INDIAN BY BIRTH A MESTIZO AND I LOVE CHINKS THEY ARE VERY NICE AND I SHALL COME TO THAILAND SOON AND IAM 33 YRS OLD MALE AND HOPE TO MARRY A THAI GRL SOON AND HAVE BABYS AND IAM A DEGREE HOLDER IN HOTEL AND RESTURANT MANAGEMENT BYE LOVE MICKEY

  15. ThailandSocial 1 February 2009 at 12:52 pm Permalink

    I think what matters in the end is that both people can find happiness no matter what their age. If both people involved support and respect each other then age is not that important. I think the key here is maturity level since you can find some 60 year olds that act like they are in their 30′s and 30 year old that act like they are in their 60s!

  16. Bella 22 February 2009 at 12:04 am Permalink

    When we hear of love stories of couples with different races or nationalities, controversies arise, especially Asian women to Western males. Stability is the major reason for this. But relationships can be developed over time. Also, babies born out of two different races are really cute.

  17. Marshall 26 February 2009 at 6:12 pm Permalink

    I find marriage of two different cultures interesting, especially when language is a bit of a challenge in communicating. Men in general have their personal preferences when it comes to their ideal kind of woman. The same thing works for women. Let’s respect each other for that.

  18. Barry 19 April 2009 at 10:44 pm Permalink

    3 years ago I went to Thailand for vacation with no thoughts of meeting a Thai girl in any setting. I simply wanted to see the country. I was struck by the beauty of the women and their openness and simplicity. I am 61 years old, in very good shape as I lift weights at the gym, and have a tendency to be friendly whenever the opportunity presents itself. Simply by smiling, being patient, open and friendly, many very pretty young women approached me, walked and talked with me, beckoned to me to come sit beside them, and generally were exceptionally nice to me. These were not bad girls. I met a tour guide, a young woman in a temple, a young woman travelling with her mother and grandmother, and another while I was shopping, among others. I never tried one time to approach any of them. It all just happened as I was out and about. Contrast this with the attitudes of american women and you will recognize how pleasantly shocked I was and why so many older men are willing to give Thailand a try.

  19. paul 29 April 2009 at 3:53 am Permalink

    ha, men are deluded if they think that a beautiful thai girl could find a 55 year old fat dude attractive. MONEY MONEY MONEY. wake up, and also if you have a young thai lady on your arm walking down a street, and you are old enough to be her father, or grandfather, that is the definition of desperation. you might as well go to a prostitute twice a week, same thing

  20. Ken 24 May 2009 at 12:35 pm Permalink

    To those of you who are sceptical about older western men and younger Thai women,I,like Steve,signed up to ThaiLoveLinks prior to going on holiday in Thailand.After numerous contacts,I settled for a 42 y/o divorcee from Chiang Mai area.At this stage,I was not looking for a relationship.More like help with culture and language.After meeting Neeracha,and her family,for dinner,I felt stongly attracted to her.Following my visit to Thailand,we continued contact via internet and webcam,to the point where I returned to Thailand hoping to get to know her better.She has her own hairdressing business,does not want to live in UK,and has never asked me for money.We are both now hopelessly in love with each other,and plan to marry next year.I am a 63 y/o widower,and this lady has changed my opinion of Thai women,as well as my life!!We now talk every day on webcam and she is fiercely loyal.I hope this helps any farang thinking of forming a relationship with a Thai lady

  21. erwin 25 May 2009 at 6:27 am Permalink

    My sympathies to Gina. Kevin’s insensitive and ignorant comments show the true underlying mentality of Western men who date/marry Thai girls.
    They are truly woman-haters. They are bitter, twisted and rather pathetic individuals who seek out “submissive” dream-girls who “know their place”.
    The funny side of the whole sorry tale is that these old leeches are invariably taken to the cleaners financially or else quietly pushed down a well by some of the girl’s cousins. I wonder which way you’ll end up Kevin!!!
    Trust me Gina. You need only wait and watch his demise. Revenge is a dish best served cold!!

  22. frits 21 June 2009 at 10:16 am Permalink

    White woman always complain about that”dirty old man” when they see you walking with a young thai girl. But for the same reason the white woman go to the carabien, older woman with young black or latino guys. But that is o.k. !They are not dirty old woman. What they don’t understand is, that thai woman are more
    “FEMALE” than the whites and know how to make a man feel good

  23. odsca 25 July 2009 at 5:12 am Permalink

    LOL why else do young thai girls go out with farang? MONEY MONEY MONEY!!! SHOW ME THE MONEYY….They assume if youre white then youre rich. Thai girls youll never see with a white guy are the ones that go to college in thailand…trust me im thai. All the college thai girls are stuck in love with thai guys. im thai and every time i go walkin in the college campus i always get the eye. Educated thai girls dont care for farang. :P

  24. Steve 25 July 2009 at 10:45 pm Permalink

    Sure that is one reason that Thai girls date farang, but that’s a reason that women all over the world date and marry men…because of money. As far as educated Thai girls not caring for farang, that’s just untrue. My wife is college educated and all of the several dozen Thai girls dating farang I know are college educated. Of course you’re gonna have an easier time pulling Thai girls if you’re Thai, that’s true in any country. But there are a small group of Thai girls, educated or not, that like to date farang.

  25. Thai person 26 July 2009 at 1:25 am Permalink

    Most of the thai ladies that do go out with farangs are often money freaks. Im thai, and trust me, thai women love money so much, they would do anything. Then again, there are those who go out with farang for love, but the percentage is negligible. What I have yet to witness, is farangs going out with well educated thai women who went or go to college in thailand. Thai college women tend to stick to thai men. Im currently in Thailand right now and most thai women don’t even look at farangs that walk pass them. The two reasons thai people stare at white men are, 1. they are rich 2. They are so white they shine. However, I can be completely wrong for thai girls who live in countries other than thailand so there ya go :) this is just for Thai women in thailand.

  26. Steve 26 July 2009 at 2:05 am Permalink

    I can agree that most Thai women don’t give me a second glance when I’m in Thailand. I think the percentage of educated Thai women that are open to the idea of dating/marrying farang is likely to be quite low (1% or maybe even less?). That being said, my wife is college educated and we met in Thailand and she has said numerous times that she has no interest in Thai guys. I have also met or know of at least two dozen college educated Thai women who are dating or married to farang that they met in Thailand. Granted I probably have an easier time meeting such because of my wife. I have a suspicion that her career may have some thing to do with these high numbers as well. She was a nurse at an International hospital in Bangkok which means a lot of contact with foreigners. Many of the other Thai women we know that are with farang are/were also nurses in International hospitals. Could very well have something to do with the fact that so many of them ended up with foreigners. So, there ya go…Oh and as I said before, there’s no need to go to Thailand to find women that are crazy about money, they’re all over the world :P

  27. Kevin 26 July 2009 at 11:49 am Permalink

    Thai women need to learn how to financially learn how to support there own selfs instead of depending on some older western guy thats the only reason why they marry older men and thats very disgracefull and very sad to. I have a thai girl friend but the different part of this situation is that im the younger guy thats RIGHT im younger then she is only by a year, but I work and she works to and just because im a western guy dont mean that she a 100% depends on me to do everything for her. We love each other alot and I dont mind doing for her and helping her and for financially help her but shes different from other thai women she loves me for who I am and thats the way its suppose to be not because of FINANCIALLY reasons thats just not right they need to learn how to wipe there own ASS!

  28. Troust 27 July 2009 at 3:14 am Permalink

    well why would they need to financially support themselve if they have the western husband to do so for them. :) I would have to agree that a very small amount of thai women that go out with westerner really do go out with them for love and nothing else, but the percentage for them going out for maney is waayyyyyyy pass border line lol :P every time i see a thai woman next to a westerner, i would always see sumthing very expensive on her as oppose to a thai girl with a thai guy where the girl does not care about money. But to the westerners who are lucky to find the right thai girl, im glad.

  29. John Weatherall 22 August 2009 at 6:21 am Permalink

    All women want from men is money, that includes you white witches aswell, so why wouldnt a man get a more attractive more feminine asian women who treats him well? It costs him the same money as a whinging white slag. And we are the haters? We are moving on and enjoying life while the scorned women on here think only of revenge.

  30. Peter Irvine 12 September 2009 at 3:43 am Permalink

    Hi there, I’ve read all the letters that have been written and my thoughts are as follows. First of all I would like to explain how I married a beautiful Thai Lady. I am a 56 year old Brit and my wife is 50. When I was in the UK I used Thailovelinks to sort out the ladies who looked to be good prospects for marriage. I spent 6 months filtering out the ladies and ended up with 25 good “prospects”. I had started with Bangkok but after a while decided that Ladies “up country” were a safer bet. I didn’t want a bar girl or a prostitute and the odds of finding one in or near Bangkok was quite high. My knowledge of Thailand was gained from my brother who has been traveling the area for 25 years.
    I landed in Bangkok and then flew up to Udon Thani to meet the first lady. As a non smoker I was keen not to meet a smoking lady – however the first lady must have been the only smoking Thai I have ever met!! The ladies on my list were all over 45, apart from one who was 39. She was a dental hygenist from Khon Kaen – she had such a large family, and her Mother wanted 1 Mill Bahts for me to marry her daughter. The 5th lady on my list had a fantastic photograph, she was like a model. She had pale skin, no facial lines and she was a Teacher and she was only 6 years younger than me. I met her in The Thani Princess Hotel in Khon Kaen (KK). She had a friend with her who soon left when she found that I was quite safe. The lady, Thongmuan, was a very fit lady who took her teaching degree in Sports and Education – and she could swim. I quickly realised that she was the lady for me – but was I the man for her? We have read about money being the main reason for Thai ladies hunting out the Farangs – this lady apparently had everything she needed in life! We decided to visit her village – which was 85 Km away (I thought she lived in KK). A rich Farang can afford a Taxi so we traveled to Ban Noonleam next to Puai Noi (Prasat). Thongmuan’s (Nong) husband died 18 years earlier in a motorcycle accident (as a passenger) so she had to bring 2 children up on her own. She had been a good mother and kept away from men for the following 18 years. Her house was a SHACK, the roof leaked, the toilet was ……..not what I expected. She was well known in the local villages by most people – there was no negative feedback about her. She took me to see some land she had bought with her husbands insurance money 18 years earlier. It was out of the villages (1 Km) and was planted with 125 Mango and 6 Jackfruit trees. It was also on a slight hill so it was quite breezy.

    That was 3 years ago. We now have a beautiful bungalow with a large swimming pool built on the land. With a 2 metre wall and 4 dogs (2 Rottweilers) we feel very safe.

    My views on marrying a much younger Thai wife, I think money is very important to them but you must remember – what is there option. I have had time to think about younger women and what they think of older Farangs – if you are 65 how much longer are you going to live? Does your lady only love you for your money? There are so many Farangs with young Thai wives – are they all wrong or are they spending their last years really enjoying themselves. I cannot say as I have an older Thai wife. My view as a westerner is I want a nice old Thai wife who wants a nice old Englishman. Sex? yes I want lots of sex – perhaps that is the only problem with an older lady. Then – a younger lady – is she more sexual? I think we have to live our lives and take from it what our partners want to give. I am very happy, and happy to leave the property and other bits to my wife or her family – that is Thai life.

  31. alf 9 November 2009 at 11:51 pm Permalink

    well im 75y aussie and meet a thai lady 43y 4 years ago on the net [yahoo messanger  ]6 month later i come to thailand to meet ,as we the perfect match  recording to the stars crap,scorpio    dog tiger,we hit it of strait on [ like we know each other for ever.now 4 tears later and many accusation from me not jelosy just say you got one then i can go back  why ?? becose the phone compesation of her not understant what or who she talk to .well i give up to thinking what she up to ,becose really she not up to anythink as she home with me if not at shooll [ teacher  ]now you read a lot about teacher and sex at shool,but it only culd be at lunch time and that would not be thai women style. so i really can tell you i can feel that she really love me [ as  to me love is only a word  ]so our pond  is very strong,to get married i need 200.000bht thai coulture, but to me buying a slave so that is out,as i would loose some of my pension what is not much.. so here is one question about thai women want rich farangs , well that one here is poorejust live on 1200$ a months,as i got ript of from my ex marritch of all the money from the property we hat,but who worris i live maybe better then her. ok so that my story about thai women,they my lie like the expat say but i dont think it is serios to worry about .. have a good day alfie

  32. alf 10 November 2009 at 12:09 am Permalink

    just another quik one after reading some of the coments thai women not look at them ??well i go to the shop 1km walk and i meet all kind of thai women,like as i walk in the shop they hello me the hairdresser shop i walk past they wave to me,in many shops or annywere i will get greeting from thai people man or women . is was agressive wen some one run over my cat ,and they hush in the street but that was only for the time next day i get all smiles and talk to if not so much but what they can in english .so all you negative people read thise hope you can understand my writing. have a good time in the love land alfie

  33. Pass 15 November 2009 at 10:00 pm Permalink

    I am not a member of Thailovelink but I have use FF. , at ther I met both guy and bad western guy. I met nice guy (American) who visit me in Thailland last year , he is so nice but becasue of many reason we decided to be a good friend even we like each other so much. This year I met a British who is woking in Thailand almost 3 years we still have the relationship but I don’t think we will have a nice ending. Both of them are oder than me over 20 years. Sure in internet date must have the bad guy who want your money or etc. as you know I have bad experienced but I too tried to tell you here.

    Even I am not yet success with the western guy but I never stop to look for becasue I don’t prefer with Thai guy with the same reason with the other Thai girl who are deny Thai guy. Too much girls even have no performance to take care their familly, selfish and try to be a leader even have no performance , not open mide etc.

    But I don’t mean the western guy are excellent I also see some so stupid and really bad guy too. But my style is not similar to Thai guy anymore. I married with
    Thai guy 3 years before divorce , what’s I have after left him , just a debt and it’s not belong to me but I have to pay becasue of my believe in him (so pooring myself) no more with Thai guy.

    Right now I use the service of Matchmarker company in Thailand but still not yet succes but at least I can meet the nice guy even just be friends and here is more safety.

    Find for true love is hard but I still try to find , once I will meet the right one.

    Pass

  34. Pass 16 November 2009 at 4:51 am Permalink

    I write again after read all comments , I can separate 2 types of opinions , 1) Thinking Thai girls marry with older foreigner because money. 2) Not base on money.

    I am Thai girl with 37 years , divorced from Thai guy. I have the western guy and I will tell you the fact.

    Both of your opinions are true , in this world have 2 types , good and bad peoples. Same there are bad Thai girl and good girl.

    Thai girl who marry with foreigner they have their reason :

    1) Concern to money , can separate two type
    1.1 A poor girl in some place of Thailand , they really want money for their living life, they will do everything that you want for marry you because they want your support. And love will come the second reason. (almost of them low education). This type of girl is not expect just for the foreigner guy they also expect Thai rich guy but it’s more difficult to get because of high class Thai guy just a small group and they deny such girl since first.
    1.2 An education girl , not poor , like me I have master degree I have high income I can take care myself. But I too tired with Thai guy , I have a western guy but I never ask them for money. But I don’t prefer a poor guy because I don’t want to support them. I want they can take care himself and help me sometime in emergency only. But don’t forget it’s very difficult in everywhere if you have no money. (this type of girl wants the nice life not only expect in your money).
    2) Bad experience with Thai guy then interest in foreigner.
    This group of girls had marry or Thai boyfriend but upset because of many
    reasons then try with the different. And you have to know Thailand is
    conservative culture and also selfish too. It’s very difficult to get accept
    from Thai guy for divorced Thai girl. Because of Thai guy prefer virgin
    girl. And also the social quite not accept divorced girl. That’s why better
    with foreigner.
    3) Too high education , high qualification for Thai guy can accept.
    This opinion may be get lots bad comment back from Thai guy who can not accept for the high performance of girl. Ha ha ha, , right now Thai girls have high education and good work , income more than Thai guy. And they don’t want to get husband likes just brother or subordinate. So if they can not get the good qualification guy better be alone. And also Thai guy are not prefer a girl who high performance or clever than them. So the best this type of girl interest in the older foreigner who has high position or owner their business.
    Above just my opinion may be right or wrong but I see Thai society from Thai vision. Welcome your opinion just write for share.

  35. Matt 22 November 2009 at 4:57 pm Permalink

    I currently live and work in America and my fiance just passed the fiance visa to come to america. She wants us to have an engagement ceremony in isaan and me give money to her mom before she leaves Thailand with me, and seems very adamant about doing this first. Is this normal and How much to give is enough? is the money given applied toward the sin sod which we would also do a wedding ceremony in her village after about a year?
    Your ideas and thoughts would be appreciated.

  36. Pass 23 November 2009 at 3:11 am Permalink

    Matt , I really great that you like Thai, I think for Sin Sod is no expect or meansure value. How much is enough? For both peoples who love each other enough the money is no meaning. But in the fact for such ceremony needs money for spend. And your fiance may be wants to give for gift for parent that ‘s normal for Thai. My pass married we (ex husband and me) corrected money 1,000 $ (including gold+diamond ring) , after ceremony finished my parents return all for our budget of new familly. (but my parents is not poor so they don’t need my money they just want we save money for the better life). So it’s depend on both of you. And what do you want to make your buddy happy. Love is love no question for how much is enough.

    Pass

  37. richard 7 December 2009 at 6:59 am Permalink

    i read a few of these wonderfull comments,and i have to tell you,i was touched by quite a few. i ignored the negative conotations of some,they where meaningless.i love and respect my thai lady,and she loves me with all her heart,her family get on really well with me, in fact i caught an approving glance from her dad when we had a little lovers tiff going on,when i would’nt take any guff.we have a very close and loving relationship,i am so glad we met,we met through a mutual freind,in thailand,not like date agency stuff,so,it just goes to show,love is love,ladies and gentleman.

  38. alf 8 January 2010 at 8:12 pm Permalink

    well the only thing i can’t hack about thai women is they like to keep there secrets to the grave.mine a 47year teacher,she can talk on her mobil 5-7 times wen come home.ya i’m talking to my friend [women ] so she say,but i watch her body languech ,so wen i ask dit he make you exitet she go beserk ,why you say that to me ?i never be with another man,ell ifn it look like it you never get to know only wen you catch her in the act,maybe then they say not do annything what you say.well all about take you money i don’t know i don’t have anny to take,we together for over 3 year i dont regret living with her.just tell her you find a thai to marry you and i go back to aussie,just to say im 76year and the most importent thing for a thai women is get wet every day.well she get that 2 times night & morning ok maybe some of you get the wrong women,go by the stars . im cancer- dog ,she scorpio -tiger the perfrct match.

  39. alf 8 January 2010 at 8:30 pm Permalink

    to pass, hy not look for the matching star sign of yours ?ours was the perfect match without knowing before i com to bkk to meet the lady.but as i said before the first look and we feel we know each other a life long.she has a very strong culture ,but it happen what you may not would exspect.so try it out alf

  40. Usuck 26 January 2010 at 12:54 am Permalink

    I guess if you’ll a lonely old man and you can find a thai girl (whore) to marry your money, I mean you, congrats. I’m not jealous I’m Asian myself born in Thailand and raised in the states. These girls will leave you high dry when they find someone younger and attractive. Don’t kid yourselves there nothing but paid hookers. Respectable my ass. Us Asian Americans laugh anytime we see a FOB ( fresh off the boat) with her white husband. Eweweee!!!! N

  41. Ron 21 February 2010 at 1:47 am Permalink

    I am an African American who I lived and worked in Thailand for several years and I can provide you with the truth in this matter.

    The Thai people – for the most part – are very friendly. You have the good and bad in all cultures.

    The people of Thailand, by comparison to the United States, Germany, France, Belgium, etc – are poor people. Money is more important to them than it is to those who life in the wealthier countries.

    It must also be understood that within the Thai family, girls have more value than men as far as money-making potential. Family and helping family is very important to Thais. It is often said that “There is no love without money.”

    Thai women have a preference for Farang – Foreign White men – for what they can provide them: money and social status. Love could develop, but it is not a primary concern. It is for that reason that many young and beautiful Thai women are seen with much older – and perceptively established – white foreign men.

    Additionally, he is viewed as a source of income not only to lift the Thai women at his side to a more prestigious life, but also to help her family.

    Many Thai women who see other Thai women with foreign White men with money, want one too! They are like trophies. Once they land one, they will do anything to keep that trophy. Love has very little to do with it.

    A good Thai woman will treat such a man like royalty, In public, she will wear him like a diamond ring. If she is adorned in nice clothes and expensive jewelry, she becomes the envy of many Thai women. (She knows this).

    As for her White Farang, he will feel special and loved; even if the love is not real.

    This thinking on the Thai’s part is not necessarily wrong. It is about surviving in a poor country and helping ones family. In return, a willing Farang will be treated and feel like a king.

    As for Black men and Thai Women

    In general, Black men are not preferred. This does not mean that Thais are prejudiced or racists. It simply means that they have a preference for the White genome.

    In Thai culture, light skin has become preferred. Skin lightener products are big business in Thailand and many young Thai women avoid direct sunlight out of fear of getting tanned,

    Light (White skin as it is called in Thailand) skin brings greater privilege and access to the better jobs in Thailand. Thus, if a Thai woman is to have children with a foreigner, she will prefer to have them with White men because they will produce light-skinned or white babies. Who then, as they grow up, will have greater privilege in Thai society; which – in turn – can help the family.

    When in Thailand I had a friend from Australia. He was very White and pale. He was also married. Yet, he was approached by many Thai women with an offer to impregnate them. On one occasion right in front of his wife!

    Some Thai women will date a Black man as long as they are “pretty.” That is, good-looking, well groomed, pleasant personality, neat, and smells good – and has money. Without the money – forget it. Remember, money is very important in Thailand. Why would she waste her time on you – good-looking but no money – when she could better use her time to find a White foreigner. (White men who look established are perceived has being wealthy).

    As a Black man (American), some Thai women may perceive you different from the stereotypical Black man portrayed in the media. If you are a gentlemen, intelligent, sensitive, polite, well groomed, humble, and respectful – this will take you a long way. Yet, still, if a scraggly looking White guy comes along who drinks a lot and has a fowl mouth, she may prefer him over you because he might have money and would look good on her arm among her peers. Remember the trophy.

    Lastly, it is very rare that a Thai lady will leave her country or her family. Instead, she will want you to stay in Thailand. Let’s face it, in the USA she will be lost as she would struggle with the language and many other barriers. But in Thailand, with a White foreigner on her arm providing for her and her family, she is somebody.

  42. Pass 9 March 2010 at 7:23 am Permalink

    Alf, long time I no time to here, i don’t believe in destiny I do believe in my doing. When I met nice guy and I interest in him and he is also feeling same as me , I try to keep him and do our love as long as we do. Hope you are lucky too.

  43. Bill 8 April 2010 at 8:28 pm Permalink

    I find it interesting that a US white male in loneliness search for a Thai (or asian) female on the opposite side of the planet with no common language rather than take up with a equally lonely single Black American female who he may see every day at the office, sharing the same language and culture.

  44. Hmong Women 12 April 2010 at 10:56 pm Permalink

    Why not marry a Hmong woman? Sorry I’m taken by a Hmong Man. We Hmong women are way much better looking than the dark Thai women.

  45. John 27 April 2010 at 8:35 pm Permalink

    to writer of “Hmong Women”. Don’t worry, I’m sure the men here are not distraught that you are “taken”. Your smug and conceited arrogance is unattractive and would probably repulse most of us anyway. At least it does me. There is nothing wrong with a dark women, and beauty can come in different skin shades. You can keep your racism and your arrogance to yourself. I myself take this personally, as I love my Thai girlfriend very much and her sweet nature. I have Hmong friends as well, and I can tell you none of them have personalities nearly as ugly as yours. Why would you represent your own culture with such negativity?

  46. BeeBee 22 May 2010 at 8:13 am Permalink

    Do you know why Thai ladies like to get marry with old Farang because they like to run away from poorly. They think old Farang have so much money that can take care all their life.

    Thai ladies like to marry with old man from western because they think they will have chances go to overseas. They will have new life , show their friends that they can go to others.

    Thai ladies have disappointments with Thai men because they do not have responsibility and have many wives all the time and so much Thai men do not like to take care their family.

    Did you know all Thai ladies get marry with western men from Easthern of Thailand?

  47. billy 23 May 2010 at 5:38 pm Permalink

    i have no desire to travel to the other end of the world ,to be taken in by a needy poor girl , that’s not love ,that’s desperation,
    pretty as these girls are ,as they are, they mostly have a plan. and it just might involve your ‘WILL’ be warned it ain’t love they desire ,and it sure ain’t the sex , there is a plan of action they will never reveal to you,they want your lifestyle ,and will open there legs for any mug that falls into that trap, you have been warned;i have seen it first hand!it’s happening as i speak!

  48. cuning 2 June 2010 at 12:23 am Permalink

    I went to bangkok thailand for surgury, I met a thai girl that was my coordinator, we got along fine, she took me places on her own time, I woke up after surgury and some one kissed me on the forhead, it was my girl, after that we went everywhere together, I went to Hua Hin for some R&R she rented her own car to travel 200 miles to see me for the weekend, went horse riding in the surf went out for dinner, the only time she got pissed at me was because I was paying for everything, then I stayed at the royal river in bangkok she came from work to be with me every night, went shopping on the river at the many markets, she is the best women I have ever met, and since I have been a sort of male whore all my life, I have met many women so I know,our age differance her 27 me 67 she told me no other guy paid sexual attention to her like me, she told me she has a french B/F that lives with her but they go their own way, no longer active but just splits the rent, since I left we tell each other about our dates with others, not to many people can do this, to much jealousy, but we are past this and very comfortuble with this because we are telling the truth, we dont have to lie to each other, the whole idea of me and her together seams imposible because the way society is and our age, but we miss each other terribly, Im thinking of retiring over their and if she is going steady with someone, thats ok its life, we will always be the best of friends, plus their are plenty of house girls available that dont have family you have to pay for., but thai girls are great, you gota love em.

  49. Trev 2 June 2010 at 4:39 am Permalink

    ———–I guess if you’ll a lonely old man and you can find a thai girl (whore) to marry your money, I mean you, congrats. I’m not jealous I’m Asian myself born in Thailand and raised in the states. These girls will leave you high dry when they find someone younger and attractive. Don’t kid yourselves there nothing but paid hookers. Respectable my ass. Us Asian Americans laugh anytime we see a FOB ( fresh off the boat) with her white husband. Eweweee!!!! ———–

    To Usuck who wrote this drivel:

    I am 27 years old as is my thai wife (in fact we were born only a day apart) Not everyone who has a thai wife, or whore as you so creatively describe them, fits the bracket that every narrow minded person like yourself preaches. I can see the exact reason why older men prefer asian girls because they are humble, kind, caring and much prettier than your average westerner. That aside my own wife i met when she was at university and she now resides in england with myself. In fact she makes an active contribution to this country by actually working unlike some of the ‘British’ residents who see fit to live off of benefits handed out by the government. We both work hard, love and respect each other and care for our 18 month old son. There is no differance to our bond and love to that of 2 people with differing ages, while i can accept some thai women are out for what they can get(money)this is in no way different to any other society in the world, they all have their money grabbers. I would say two things to you. Learn to comment constructively and refrain from taking things personally (It shows in how you comment childishly) and dont let your judgement be influenced by stereotype and prejudice, that is something you can apply in all walks of life not just this online discussion.

  50. SonicOmen 25 June 2010 at 4:53 am Permalink

    This is all a very fascinating read but I don’t necessarily agree with everyone here. I will agree that money is likely the main reason Thai women consider going with farang though. Although that really is no different then it is in the west either. Against popular belief though I feel many farang look to Thai or Asian women in general not because of the usual stereotypes, but because of something of which is missing in their lives. There seems to be a growing disconnect these days between Caucasian men and women. Women like to believe that men are theirs to be controlled or molded into whatever they see fit. Not necessarily taking into consideration what his feelings might be. An ever growing sense of entitlement or a belief they are owed something. Using sex as a weapon to get their way instead of actual communication. That the only way to win her love is through the ring on her hand and the treasures you shower her with and all with conditions of course. It’s no wonder men are flocking elsewhere as who the hell wants that kind of relationship.

    In retrospect though I am not quite sure how good an arrangement this would be either even if you have money. I guess some guys are OK with that, but to me seems a bit pointless. Not to mention that once the next guy comes along with more money. Then you would be left high and dry picking shrapnel out of your ass. This just seems like a losing formula if you plan to keep her for any period of time. I generally try to put off that I have money at first so as to get a feel for her motivations. This way when she discovers you have money is not as big a deal, but a nice bonus no doubt lol. So the million dollar question is? Is Money the only way to win the heart of a Thai girl? Are Thai women really so shallow that love never enters into the equation? Don’t get me wrong I am a sucker just as much as the next guy. Although I sometimes wonder if I am barking up the wrong tree. I guess the devils in the details and when something seems to good to be true it usually is, Thai women included. I should have been a monk lol.

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