One common theme in many of the emails I get is whether or not the author of the email can trust their Thai girlfriend. Often they are back in their own home country and the girl is in Thailand and they are understandably frustrated and concerned by the lack of physical proximity and the sporadic communication. The fact that they really have no idea what is happening on a day to day basis in their girlfriends life can make them suspicious and jealous, sometimes with reason, but many times as a function of their lack of details and insight into the girls lives.

As many guys can tell you I respond to all these emails as best I can and have even chatted on IM and through Skype with some of the guys who write to me with their concerns about trusting their Thai girlfriends. In some cases the suspicion is well founded and in others it often seems to be a case of misguided jealousy. The thing is, in every case I only get the guys side of the story which is colored by their own perception. I never have the chance to talk with the Thai girl to see if my instincts tell me she’s what would be considered a good Thai girl or not.

While many stories you find on the internet may tell you differently, I don’t think that Thai girls in general are untrustworthy. On the contrary, I feel that for the most part Thai girls can not only be trusted, but are often more devoted and trustworthy than the majority of western women. Look around at how many promiscuous and cheating girls you find in the West and you’ll know what I mean. Another good indication is the heinously high divorce rate in most Western countries. Contrast that with the sub 10% divorce rate in Thailand.

While this is certainly not set in stone I think the following considerations will tell you how trustworthy (in general) your Thai girlfriend is. And just for the record I think many of the negative traits would apply to western girls as well.

General traits of untrustworthy girls:

• She works in a bar, coyote place or massage parlor.
• She is often out late at night.
• She doesn’t accept phone calls from you and doesn’t return calls, IM’s or emails.
• She asks you for financial help before you’ve actually met or lies about why she needs the money.
• Most of her friends work in bars and massage parlors.

Bear in mind that the above are quite generalized. Meeting just one of the criteria may not be an automatic “No”, but if she meets several I think the warning signs have been posted for you. Considering the number of trustworthy, loving, beautiful and loyal Thai girls out there I see no reason to take unnecessary chances or risks. More important than all the above traits is to ask yourself what do your instincts tell you. This is perhaps the most important because no matter what girl you’re with, if you can’t feel comfortable it will never work. And in many cases the warning signs are there, but are just being ignored by the guys. I can’t stress this enough…always trust your gut.

In some cases I hear from guys who have already been burned and are curious how they can meet good Thai girls. While you might think that meeting and dating Thai girls is a real minefield, I don’t think it’s any more difficult than meeting and dating anywhere else. Putting the language barrier aside it’s actually quite similar to dating in your own country, assuming that in your own country you’re willing to meet and date girls with substantially different backgrounds from yours. The Thai culture and thought process can be quite different than what you are used to, but to be honest I’ve met girls here in the U.S. whose background, thoughts and behaviors seemed totally alien to me. So while the culture question may be difficult I don’t believe it is as difficult as some people make it. Adaptability and a willingness to learn and accept on your part can go a very long way in understanding why your Thai girl behaves the way she does.

Bear in mind that the girls in Bangkok and other tourist areas may already possess quite a bit of knowledge about your culture from dealings with other foreigners. Chances are if she’s interested in dating you she’s interested in foreigners in general and has met quite a few and has already learned quite a bit of English. These girls can be considered much more open and adaptable than the majority of Thai’s, but that doesn’t mean you’ll still need to occasionally push a bit to keep her communicating fully. Here’s a great response to my own thoughts on Thai girls marrying foreigners from theperspective of a Thai girl. Well worth reading in my opinion.

Those living in Thailand should have no problem meeting girls the same way you would in your own country. Simply starting a conversation when shopping, at work and even on the BTS or MRT can often lead to unexpected events. Remember to be always polite and you can get far simply by asking for help regarding unknown Thai words or pronunciation. Those living outside Thailand have it a bit harder, but thanks to the internet not as impossible as it was even 10 years ago. As you know I met Golf at Thai Love Links and highly recommend their service. While it seems there may be more scammers appearing on the site recently as far as I can tell most are Nigerian or some such which makes them pretty easy to filter out. Overall the site is still top notch though and I receive many emails from guys who have met their girlfriends or future wives there.

In the end, the truth of the matter is that trust in a relationship simply takes time. And remember that it’s not only trust on your part that needs to develop. The girl needs time and good reason to come to trust you. Chances are she’s dated and been burned in the past. Thai guys are notorious for this and foreigners can be just as good at disappearing, leaving the poor girl alone and wondering what happened or what she might have done wrong. Trust in a relationship with anyone is a two way street and Thai girls are no different. Just take it slow, get to know each other and keep the lines of communication wide open. When Golf and I were dating and I was back in the U.S. I called and talked to her daily, sometimes for hours. I honestly believe that this helped move our relationship forward much more quickly.

And if you have any doubts or questions please feel free to leave a comment here or email me directly. Golf and I are more than happy to help with any questions or concerns.

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