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Why Do Thai Girls Marry Older Foreign Guys?

January 25, 2008

Several weeks ago I wrote a post “What Do You Want to Know About Thailand” and I got some very good questions. I know I’ve gotten a bit sidetracked since then and I still have a few questions hanging out there so I want to finish answering those and if anyone else has any questions about Thailand or Thai culture please go back to that post and leave a comment or contact us with your question. I’ll be posting all of the answers here at Thailand Musings so don’t forget to subscribe so you won’t miss any of the great questions and answers.

Here is another question regarding Thai culture and the willingness of Thai women to meet and marry significantly older western men. I find this a particularly good subject because it is exactly the question that Golf asked me when we first met on ThaiLoveLinks. I think her question went something like “Why do so many old guys try to chat the young girl on here”. Needless to say I took this a bit personally and felt it necessary to explain. The rest is history.

Question about age differences: Let’s face the facts, I am a 55 year old guy talking with a 30 year old Thai woman. I am well aware that I could produce children. But I may not be still around past age 75, who knows? And I could have ten year old kids when I reach retirement age. I do not want to put a woman and kids at risk, and can certainly make provisions for their support after I am gone. I’d be interested in any success or failure stories you have encountered regarding this. Of course, here in the US, this degree of age difference in marriage is relatively rare, and perhaps even somewhat scandalous. Not that I am ungrateful, but why is a large age span seemingly so acceptable for many Thai women?

Stories regarding Thai women and western men meeting and dating or marrying are very common on the internet and will run the gamut from wildly successful to depressing failures. Do a Google search for Thai women + foreign men and you’ll find hours of reading material. For success stories go to the testimonials of ThaiLoveLinks (where Golf and I met) or simply read about Golf and I. The International Herald has a good story about this subject as well. For failure stories you’ll find plenty, but most of them involve Thai bar girls. By meeting a good Thai girl you can avoid a lot of the common pitfalls you find on the internet.

The reason a large age span is acceptable is often very personal to the girls and I hate to generalize, but if I have to do so then there are several commonly accepted reasons that Thai girls date and/or marry foreigners so much older than themselves.

First, many Thai girls are looking for stability, both financial and in the relationship, and older foreign men are typically able to provide both. They are in general financially well off, especially by Thai standards and this is viewed as a definite positive. They are also more settled and less prone to wander than their Thai counterparts. Add to that the western cultural ideal of monogamy and they become even more attractive to Thai women who are used to seeing Thai men that are promiscuous and prone to having mistresses.

Thai Singer Tata YoungThai’s also value white skin very much and in fact those with darker skin are perceived to be of a lower class in Thai society. Typically children of Thai/western marriages tend to be much lighter skinned and thus more accepted in society. The Thai’s even have a name for such children of mixed parentage which is ‘Luk Kreung’ and literally means ‘child half”. You’ll find many famous Thai actors and models are luk kreung including pop singers Tata Young and Lanna Cumming.

One aspect that is often overlooked by westerners is that traditionally Thai marriages were often arranged by parents, not on the basis of love, but for mutual benefits between the families such as a property tie up or business merger. Westerners don’t understand this type of arranged marriage and often don’t consider this aspect of Thai culture yet it is very ingrained and accepted in Thailand. Because of this Thai women can sometimes view their bodies as property (Thai men view them this way as well which is a reason Thai women don’t care for Thai men) and as such have no problem using it to gain a better social or financial standing.

In the beginning the Thai girl may not even like her husband much, but over time a love and mutual respect grows. As the two get to know each other better an assimilation of each others culture begins to occur and the bonds between a Thai woman and her foreign husband can grow very strong. It’s good to understand these dynamics better, but I think we older western guys should just be thankful for our beautiful Thai ladies and not question too much. After all, it sure beats the alternative.

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Written by Steve · Filed Under Thai Girls 

Thai Dating, Singles and Personals

Comments

10 Responses to “Why Do Thai Girls Marry Older Foreign Guys?”

  1. A History Of Western Society on January 26th, 2008 2:30 am

    [...] Why Do Thai Girls Marry Older Foreign Guys? [...]

  2. Jake on February 18th, 2008 1:58 am

    Why do flies like poop?

  3. thaieurope on May 17th, 2008 10:42 am

    Why rich famous westerners marry young farang girls?

  4. john on May 23rd, 2008 1:55 pm

    just trying to find out how much it will cost to bring a thai girl over to stay permanently in uk if anyone could help that would b great

  5. Steve on June 7th, 2008 9:04 am

    Yes it seems quite obvious doesn’t it. Of course if both parties understand the motivations of the other in beginning the relationship I think it has a much better chance of success. The Thai girls I’m sure understand the motivation of the farang, but I think that sometimes we westerners don’t fully understand the motivation and mindset of the Thai girl.

    @ John - Since I’m from the U.S. I couldn’t comment reliably on how much it would cost to bring a girl to the U.K. as the immigration requirements are different. You should be able to find information about this on ThaiVisa.com

  6. COHEN CHAMBERS on July 15th, 2008 12:52 pm

    DEAR SIR AND GOLF,
    FIRST I THANK YOU FOR SPENDING YOUR TIME IN GIVING ADVISE AND

    GUIDANCE TO PEOPLE LIKE MYSELF ABOUT THAILAND.

    NEXT I AM AN AMERICAN VETERAN OF THE US ARMY AND US MARINES..[YES I

    LIKED THE MARINES MUCH BETTER ALTHOUGH I WAS A VERY PROUD

    PARATROOPER AND VIET NAM VETERAN IN THE ARMY]

    I AM INTERESTED IN GOING TO THE COUNTRY TO RETIRE BECAUSE OF

    COST HERE IN THE US. I GET A RETIREMENT CHECK FROM THE VA ITS A

    MODEST 941.00 PER MONTH I WANT TO COME THERE LIVE LEARN A NEW

    EASTERN CULTURE FIND A GREAT LADY WHO I CAN RESPECT LOVE COME

    HOME TO AND FEEL APPRICIATED WITH

    I AM BUT 57 Y/O I AM DISABELLED BUT A PART FROM WALKING A LITTLE

    SLOWLY YOUD BE HARD PRESSED TO TELL.

    ANYWAY ID LIKE A DECENT LADY OVER 35 TO SETTLE DOWN WITH TRAVEL

    LEARN THERE CULTURE AND OF COURSE. I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW COULD I

    SURVIVE ON THAT AMOUNT OF MONEY INCLUDING HEALTH CARE A MODEST

    SAY 2 BEDROOM APARTMENT AND EITHERA MODEST CAR OR MOPED THERE

    LASTLY I AM MIXED RACED. I AM BLACK IRISH, CHEROKEE INDIAN, IS IT

    SOCIETY PERMISSABLE FOR THE THI LADIES TO BE WITH WHAT APPEARS TO

    BE BLACK OR AS LONG AS A PERSON CONDUCTS THEMSELVES IN AN

    ACCEPTABE MANNER IT DOESNT MATTER.

    I ASK BECAUSE A LOT OF LADIES ASK FOR CAUCASIONS, AND I SAW

    SOMEWHERE TODAYS REAADINGS THAT THE LIGHTER A SKIN COLOR IS ITS

    CONSIDERED BETTER THEN DARKER SKIN SOO PLEASE ADVISE

    VERY SINCERLY COHEN CHAMBERS,

    PS SIR YOU BE GOOD ALWAYS TO GOLF YOU DO THE SAME FOR HIM GOD BLESS.

  7. Steve on July 15th, 2008 5:33 pm

    Hi Cohen,

    Thailand is definitely much cheaper than the U.S. to live. Not sure what your experience has been with other cultures, but I would guess from your background that it has been pretty diverse.

    I think you could live in Thailand on that amount better than in the U.S., assuming you’re not living in one of the major cities like Bangkok. Plus, having a Thai wife would help greatly in the provinces with many things from language to culture and even the simple day to day.

    I suppose you have two choices here. You could try Thai Love Links, you know I have a great opinion of their service, and see who you meet there first and then head off to Thailand to meet them in person. Or, you could simply plan a trip to Thailand and “get the lay of the land” while you’re there. Thailand is really cheap compared to the U.S. even with the weak dollar.

    The second way would probably be better as you could travel a bit and get a feel for different areas of Thailand as well as the costs associated with living there. In my experience once you get away from Bangkok and the tourist areas the costs are anywhere from 1/2 to 1/4 of what they are in the U.S.

    If you have additional questions please feel free to email me.

  8. Jasmine on July 23rd, 2008 8:09 am

    At first , I would like to let you know that I’m a Thai lady . I met my husband from internet and moved to USA about 5 years ago , but my English still very poor. I hope you will understand me. I miss Thailand a lot I just want to moved back to Thailand. I think Thailand is easier to live than USA . My husband is would like to go to Thailand too , but he does not speck Thai so and he does not know what he will do for living. I have a sister in Thailand . She is a teacher and very beautiful . She would like to know someone who is willing to move to Thailand and of couse can support her financial too. How can I find someone for her.

  9. Steve on July 23rd, 2008 6:47 pm

    Hi Jasmine and welcome to TM.

    I think you already know the answer to your question. Unless your sister lives in Bkk I think that there are limited chances for her to meet farang. Her best opportunity would probably be to meet someone on the internet as well, just as you did.

    I agree with you too that Thailand is much easier to live than the USA. I can’t wait for the time I am able to move back and neither can Golf. As far as your husband goes, I think there are opportunities for farang in Thailand, but it depends on his skills and temperment.

    Hope to see you around here more :)

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