I first went to Thailand in 1997 and immediately fell in love with the country. Thailand at that time to me was mysterious and exotic, full of potentials and pitfalls.
Fast forward to 2010 and here I am after 13 years and many trips to the LOS sharing, with the help of my 
Thai Bar Girls and Foreigners
Over the years I’ve read a lot of posts, articles and stories about Thai bar girls and specifically about foreign men falling in love with Thai bar girls. And I would say that 95% of these stories end badly. For the other 5% the stories are often new so we don’t yet know what the end will be. I think we can all guess though.
Oftentimes the writer or poster has even read the warnings and been given specific additional warnings by the regulars on each forum. And yet they continue in their folly only to show up later a bit older and wiser for their experience. Each year you read about Americans or Europeans or Australians who commit suicide in places like Patong and Pattaya. Most of these stories revolve around a bar girl and the loss of considerable amounts of money. Since the victim is now dead we will never know the complete truth, but based on past tragedies we can guess.
What is it that drives men to such stupidity even in the face of overwhelming evidence that Thai bar girls should, in every case, be avoided as romantic interests, girlfriends and wives. Why are the men so blind and each one of thousands telling himself “this is different”. It’s not different, it never is and it never will be.
Ask yourself this…would you behave the same way in your home country? What I mean is would you shack up with a prostitute and give her the equivalent of several thousand dollars a month or more? Would you look the other way when you know she is out sleeping with other men or even keeping other boyfriends?
Maybe some of you would and you do it here in Thailand because you can’t afford to do the same thing in your home country. If that’s the case then you are asking for and deserve anything that comes your way. If that’s not you then wise up…take a look at your relationship and ask yourself these questions:
- Is your gf/wife evasive about her phone calls? Does she get calls at odd hours? If you had a gf/wife in your home country and she was hiding phone calls from you wouldn’t you be suspicious.
- Does she consistently need money to send home. Seems to be the same amount each month. This is not conclusive, but could indicate a bf/husband back in her hometown.
- Tattoos and piercings outside of her ears (nose and lips especially) is an indication of a bar girl. “Good” Thai girls don’t do this, although this is changing for the younger generation, but mostly in Bangkok only.
- Are her friends involved in prostitution. This is perhaps one of the biggest indicators as like types tend to gravitate together because as with anything else they have similar experiences to share.
Basically just practice some common sense. I know that many men lose their minds when they come to Thailand for the first time. They aren’t used to seeing so many beautiful girls and they certainly aren’t used to getting the attention of beautiful girls of any kind in their home countries. And even if they are used to getting the beautiful girls at home it never seemed so easy as in Thailand.
So, they think with their penis’ instead of their brains and they ignore things that would set off multiple alarms if they were back in their normal home surroundings. Somehow everything else around them is so different even surreal at times so their new relationship with the Thai bargirl, while strange is no stranger than anything else in their new lives. Instead of using their usual filters to determine what’s good and bad, right and wrong the brain sets up a new category called “This is Thailand” to measure against. Since all of the data is new many men make mistakes.
You can almost hear their brains crying out to them, “It isn’t supposed to be like this. Why is she always secretive or disappearing? Why does she talk with so many other men? Etc etc”. And the new “This is Thailand” section of their brains tells them “Calm down, I know what you’re used to, but This is Thailand it’s not like (the U.S. U.K. Australia or wherever you’re from). Everything is different here so this is probably normal”.
It’s not normal. Listen to your common sense when in Thailand just like you would at home. Things are different here, but not that different. Human nature is still human nature, even if the rules are a bit different. Take the advice of others who have come before you. Yes it is possible that Noi is different, but it is a very small chance. Do you want to gamble your savings, your heart and your sanity on it? Why not just take the time to meet a nice girl instead of a Thai bar girl and avoid all the heartache and expense.
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i need sexy and cute girl to ahve sex with all time i need
Useful for simple-minded person. If you are stupid in your country, there is no chance to become smart suddenly in Thailand. And believe me (by my own and friends experience) marry Thai girl from bar or not is a real gift of life.
Think before to throw your dick out of your pants.
I’ve seen even the smartest guys get dragged into some pretty bad situations by bar girls. In the end, they are always the ones to be telling the next guy not to do the same. I think it’s almost like a Thailand “rite of passage”. It seems that we all have done it to some degree, and then go on to tell the newbies the story. Do you think they’ll listen? Nah, but you have to try. These days I just shake my head, and think “there goes another one”.
Given you’ve acknowledged that just about everyone gets a warning about this, what’s the point in writing yet another article that says the same thing? I’m not criticising the message, but clearly this approach has never and will never work.
The problem is that most men come here in “holiday mode”. That is, they take a superficial view of everything they encounter and feel no sense of attachment to any of their multitude of “experiences”. What they aren’t used to dealing with however, is when their indifference is out-gunned by the professionalism of the working girls.
Men in the West (and pretty much anywhere) are familiar with being frivolous with the emotions of the women they casually sleep with, and usually it is the female who develops feelings of attachment, leaving the male with the initiative to proceed with a relationship, or otherwise. Add the Thai cultural smoke screen (language barrier + outwardly subservient role of women), and the be-dazzlement is compete.
This is how many men enjoying the company of Thai working girls find themselves hopelessly out of their depth, and feasibly the reason why so many who attempt to “play the game” lose so miserably.
But how do you educate people against this? I doubt you can. To start with, the men would laugh if you suggested they were in danger – they are in “holiday mode” after all.
The next stage, “the enchantment” is something that occurs at a subconscious level, they would never admit to those feelings even if they suspected they were true.
By the time “the infatuation” occurs, these guys are deeply embroiled in a secret war of attrition – they still believe they can “win”, though they might confess that they consider it worth fighting for to only the closest of friends.
Some time after this, comes “the despair”. They have lost the game that they never admitted to playing. As Alcoholics Anonymous will tell you, you can’t begin recovery until you admit to addiction.