It seems to me that there are lots of of fellows hunting for a Thailand girl to be their wife and I believe this is a very good idea. I can assure you from first hand experience that a Thai wife makes a wonderful partner and can make your life more rich. If you haven’t already taken the first step I recommend that you do so by getting online and looking around at who some of the Thai dating sites can offer you.

You will find that your new Thai wife won’t be leery of work, but you should give her some space in her imaginings of a new life of leisure. A Thai lady will cook dinner, do the laundry, bring you a drink, spoil you and even deal with you hanging out at the local pub for a few drinks every evening as long as you take care of her as well (which might include sending money home to her family). You might even go as far as making her responsible for the family budget and you can be certain that she will do an excellent job.

You Need to Be Patient
I can’t even tell you how often I’ve heard of fellows going to Thailand on vacation and getting hitched to the first lovely lady they encounter. This is not only foolish for the bloke, but equally foolish for the girl who is probably just taking whatever chance she gets as her chances of meeting Europeans and Americans is limited, especially if she lives and works outside the tourist areas.

In your own country you wouldn’t imagine marrying someone you met a month ago. It takes time to get to know your new friend, to comprehend her culture and background and to gain each others trust. You also need to comprehend the financial repercussions of your relationship, as throughout history in Thailand marriage is a financial partnership as much as a romantic one. Be sure to look before you leap.

That’s not to say it won’t work if you meet someone and get to know them very quickly. Golf and I knew each other less than 5 months when we got married. Sometimes you know when something is right in your heart and it’s worth it to take a chance. It was definitely worth it for us.

Considering Age vs Beauty
It’s true that younger Thai girls are obviously prettier and vivacious, many times they are less settled and less reliable. Older Thai girls usually will have improved social skills, better values and will be more steadfast. Thailand has undergone quite a bit of changes over the past twenty to thirty and you’ll find that the younger Thai women might be lacking in a lot of the former charm and innocence of Thailand. This certainly doesn’t mean that you can’t find a charming wife in Thailand, it just means that your Thailand girl will be a bit more worldly than in the past.

Be a culture scholar
Make an attempt to learn Thai language and learn as much as you can about the Thai culture. There are many sites on the net you can visit to learn about Thai culture and to learn some Thai language (hint: subscribe to Thailand Musings). If you ever expect to cross the cultural boundary you should at least respect your Thai wife enough to try.

It still amazes me that lots of fellows still travel to Thailand expecting to collect a new Thai bride like getting a new wardrobe. Even more amazing is that they imagine their new Thai wife will slide right into life back in their home city without any understanding of her culture. Not to say it can’t be accomplished, but I think it is crucial to at least have knowledge of Thai culture so you understand what your bride is going through. Thai and Western cultures can be totally different in many ways.

Don’t shy away from a shy Thailand girl
Thai’s are usually very conservative and shy so I would expect at least a bit of shyness from your Thai girl, especially at the start. Don’t be surprised if the lady invites a family member or best friend with them on your first couple of dates, this is completely normal for Thai culture. Also, don’t be surprised if it takes a bit of time to have your 1st kiss. Romantic actions aren’t viewed as they are in the West and intimacy is something that typically comes later in a relationship in Thailand than in America.

That being said, typically a shy Thailand girl is also a good lady. One who has good manners, morals and values. These are exactly the types of women you want to be looking for if you’re looking to marry a Thai lady. Please be patient as often Thai good girls will think that once you are sharing a bed your future marriage is guaranteed. Try not to hurt them.

Final Thoughts
While I have tried to be as objective as possible each guys experiences will obviously be unique. Some of you may not agree with what I’ve written and that’s fine, it is simply a general guideline for successfully finding a Thai wife. I have some experience in this matter obviously, but it is uniquely mine. While stereotypes abound on the internet you’ll find that they are rarely completely true. If you approach finding a good Thailand girl with your eyes wide open and fully informed you stand a much better chance of having success.

Keep in mind that there is no such thing as the perfect relationship. Any good relationship will require work. Meeting the perfect Thai wife will give you the feeling you’re on cloud nine and certainly many guys report feeling like the happiest man on the planet once they locate their perfect Thailand girl.

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To the best of my knowledge, my Thai girlfriend is employed in the finance/accounting area of a small 30-employee Bangkok business. I really have no reason to doubt her, and I naturally take her at her word. It has of course crossed my mind that bar-girls looking for a foreign marriage via an internet profile probably do not disclose their true occupational experience! I will not disrespect the world’s oldest and most pleasant profession, however I really don’t want to marry a former sex-worker. I enjoyed your tips about ladyboy detection, that was a real scream. Do you have any bar-girl detection techniques to share?

Answer: These are not entirely mine, I’ve gotten inspiration for some of them by reading and hearing other experiences. And by no means are these 100% spot on, just like everywhere in the world there are exceptions to rules, but they are good indicators, especially if your Thai girlfriend meets more than 2.

Keep in mind too that for many of the younger Thai urban girls these rules do not necessarily apply. Things are a bit different in Bangkok than they are out in rural Thailand or even in other Thai cities. The younger generation of Thai’s are moving away from traditional Thai values rapidly. What was true 5 or 10 years ago doesn’t necessarily apply any longer, especially when considering the university educated middle class or hi-so Thai’s.

Take these warnings as what they are, just warnings to keep your eyes open. Your Thai girl may be a good girl or she may be a bad girl, it’s often hard to tell these days as the lines have become a bit blurred.

- She is very familiar with one of the pay-for-play areas in Thailand. If she is able to give you an in depth tour of Patpong, Nana Plaza or Pattaya, especially the tourist bar scene then she most likely was or is a bargirl.

- She wears a lot of makeup. In Thailand the good girls don’t wear makeup very much. This too is changing, but even those that do wear make up wear very little, mostly just some cover-up to make them look whiter and MAYBE some blush. Heavy eyeliner or eyeshadow is definitely in the realm of bargirls. If your Thai girl is in the fashion industry this may differ, but in general Thai girls don’t wear much makeup.

- She isn’t shy about kissing, holding hands or touching in public. Good Thai girls do not kiss or touch in public. Again, this is slowly changing in Bangkok and if you’ve been together awhile she will be less reluctant, but the fact is that Thai’s do not generally show affection in public. If your Thai girlfriend regularly pats your ass in public she may have been a bargirl.

- She has had a baby, but the baby is not with her. A large percentage of girls that work in the pay-for-play industry have had children that they’ve left with their mothers, aunts or other relatives – so they can work unencumbered. This is generally more true for younger Thai girls. Older girls may have kids at home with mom because they were previously married and the Thai guy left them high and dry. This is a fairly common occurrence and one reason Thai women are starting to look to guys from the west for marriage. Western males are much more likely to stay in a monogamous relationship than Thai guys. Still, Thai women love their kids as much as anyone so if there are kids and they are not with the mom there is a reason and that reason might be because the mom is a bargirl.

- Your girl isn’t a virgin. This is a pretty good clue actually. In Thai society – a girl that is not a virgin gets no dowry and probably gets no decent husband either. A girl that loses her virginity had better marry the guy. If she does not – then she is spoiled goods and the Thai guys won’t marry her. They will almost NEVER marry a girl that has been married and has a child. They have a severe loss of face for this – to be raising someone else’s child. There are exceptions – but, I’d say this is a BIG CLUE.

- If all she seems to care about is money, especially your money, then she very well might be a bargirl. Good Thai girls will not talk about money, it’s not something they are typically obsessed with. The girls that are obsessed by it will do whatever they can to get more. How does your typical Thai with no university education or skills do to get more money? Even if they are not outright bargirls there are girls who will go out with guys to dinner or a movie, or maybe right back to their rooms simply to get an extra 1000 baht for a new cellphone or clothes or whatever it is she feels that she needs. As I’ve said before, a girl can live in Bangkok quite easily on 10,000 baht a month and many do. Those who aren’t happy living that lifestyle will do whatever they have to to get more money and often that includes the bargirl life.

- If she has friends in Pattaya, Patpong or Nana Plaza and she’s keeping in close contact with them – she is or was or may turn out to be a bargirl if the relationship with you doesn’t work.

- If she has tattoos then she may not necessarily be a bargirl, but she worked in the pay for play industry in some fashion. Maybe she was a masseuse or fishbowl girl, served drinks in a bar or even worked as a freelancer, but she was connected in some way with bargirls if she has a tattoo.

- If she has piercings beside her earrings – she was or is a bargirl. If she has her tongue pierced she was or is 100% without fail, a bargirl. If her nose or navel is pierced – not 100%, but north of 90% I’d say.

- If she goes to another place to talk on the cellphone then she is hiding something. You should be wondering what she has to hide from you. Most likely if she’s hiding something it is another man. Many of the bargirls in Thailand are married to a Thai guy or have many foreign boyfriends calling her. They get money from the boyfriends and they send their money to the Thai guys. It’s what they do for love!

- If her English is pretty good. Most Thai’s have bad English skills, even those who work in tourist areas or hotels. If your Thai girlfriend understands anything that has to do with money or a bar or restaurant situation she may be or was a bargirl. This is especially true if she makes jokes to you about “short time, love you long time, no money no honey…”. These are typical bar jokes and if she knows them she was very likely a bargirl in the past or present.

- She no longer takes care of you once you’re in a relationship with you. Bargirls will try very hard to hook you, but once you’re on the hook all she wants to do is watch TV, eat and gossip with her friends. She won’t want to cook, but will send out for food everyday. You would expect that she would view you as a godsend since you are making 5-10 times as much money as any Thai guy would and supporting her lavishly from a Thai standpoint. Instead she tries to minimize your impact on their lives. She will ask for more things all the time, going out to eat, better cell phone, bigger TV, cars, vacations, anything that others have that they want. They will never be satisfied with what they have and they will not give much back in the relationship. They are used to the bargirl lifestyle which is to sleep, eat, watch TV and make sure you can buy what everyone else have and then show off what you have.

- You’re married and she has a separate bank account. A bargirl will use this account for two purposes. First to transfer money out to a Thai boyfriend/husband and second to receive money from past customers. Some guys will continue to send money to bargirls for a very long time and of course the girls will continue to accept it as long as it’s being sent.

- If she is not reachable by phone sometimes – she is up to something. She may not be a bargirl, but something is seriously wrong with that picture. A cell phone is a Thai girls link to the world and everyone she knows and they can and will answer it even when riding 50 mph on the back of a motorcycle. If your Thai girlfriends frequently doesn’t answer her phone when you call there’s something going on she doesn’t want you to know about.

As I said, these aren’t hard and fast rules, but are more like warning signs. Keep your eyes open and use your common sense.

If you’re reading this and you’ve had some experience with Thai bargirls then maybe you can add some more to what I’ve written. Are there other warning signs I’ve missed? Leave a comment and let us know.

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