Over the past 4 years (has it really been THAT long?) Golf and I have been able to connect with many people through this site and thanks to our honest and straight forward advice regarding Thai-Western relationships. As you have probably noticed, Golf isn’t really active here at Thailand Musings any longer due to her commitments to her own sites; Awesome Thai Food & Love Thai Guys and of course the time involved with a newborn in the house.

While I feel fully confident in my own advice, thoughts and musings about Thailand, relationships and the wonderful gentler sex in Thailand I totally believe that a balanced view should always be taken. Being able to include the thoughts of a Thai girl regarding Thai-Western relationships is a huge help to all my readers, but where could I find a Thai girl willing to write about relationships on a regular basis?

Fortunately I have been able to find someone who has the same passion for Thailand, relationships between Thai’s and Westerners and love that I have. Bonus #1 it’s a female, bonus #2 she’s Thai and bonus #3 she’s spent time in both Thailand (obviously) as well as Australia.

Who is this mystery woman you are probably asking by now. Her name is Angella and she has graciously agreed to guest post a column here on Thailand Musings that we are calling “Angella Talks”. The column will be about her thoughts on Thai-Western relationships, Thailand vs. the West, Thai culture and that sometimes elusive and bittersweet emotion love. I think she will bring something truly unique and positive to Thailand Musings and after you read some of her columns I hope you agree with me.

You can learn more about Angella on the bio page she wrote for us, but even better would be to read her column on a regular basis. That way you will be able to develop a conversation with her as she will also be answering questions and comments on all her posts.

Please take a moment and join me in offering a warm welcome to Angella by leaving her a comment below. And please stop back tomorrow to read her first post here at Thailand Musings.

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I received this email over the weekend and thought it would be fun to share it with all of you. Have you ever been in a bar in Bangkok (or anywhere for that matter) and seen a really cute Thai girl only to later find out she was a he? It’s pretty common for Thailand considering the large number of ladyboys and the Thai’s mai bpen rai attitude regarding sexual orientation.

Take the test below and see how good you are at spotting the differences between ladyboys and real Thai girls.

Can you be fooled?

In each of the following photos, try to guess which member of the couple
is a girl and which is a guy. There are 6 pairs. Look closely, then pick left or right to identify the guy.

(Answers are at the end. Don’t cheat!)

ALL OF THEM ARE GUYS!

Sorry for the little bit of cheating by misleading you to think that 6 of them were girls. To be honest I would have guessed 10 out of 12, but no one is perfect. How did all of you do?

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One common theme in many of the emails I get is whether or not the author of the email can trust their Thai girlfriend. Often they are back in their own home country and the girl is in Thailand and they are understandably frustrated and concerned by the lack of physical proximity and the sporadic communication. The fact that they really have no idea what is happening on a day to day basis in their girlfriends life can make them suspicious and jealous, sometimes with reason, but many times as a function of their lack of details and insight into the girls lives.

As many guys can tell you I respond to all these emails as best I can and have even chatted on IM and through Skype with some of the guys who write to me with their concerns about trusting their Thai girlfriends. In some cases the suspicion is well founded and in others it often seems to be a case of misguided jealousy. The thing is, in every case I only get the guys side of the story which is colored by their own perception. I never have the chance to talk with the Thai girl to see if my instincts tell me she’s what would be considered a good Thai girl or not.

While many stories you find on the internet may tell you differently, I don’t think that Thai girls in general are untrustworthy. On the contrary, I feel that for the most part Thai girls can not only be trusted, but are often more devoted and trustworthy than the majority of western women. Look around at how many promiscuous and cheating girls you find in the West and you’ll know what I mean. Another good indication is the heinously high divorce rate in most Western countries. Contrast that with the sub 10% divorce rate in Thailand.

While this is certainly not set in stone I think the following considerations will tell you how trustworthy (in general) your Thai girlfriend is. And just for the record I think many of the negative traits would apply to western girls as well.

General traits of untrustworthy girls:

• She works in a bar, coyote place or massage parlor.
• She is often out late at night.
• She doesn’t accept phone calls from you and doesn’t return calls, IM’s or emails.
• She asks you for financial help before you’ve actually met or lies about why she needs the money.
• Most of her friends work in bars and massage parlors.

Bear in mind that the above are quite generalized. Meeting just one of the criteria may not be an automatic “No”, but if she meets several I think the warning signs have been posted for you. Considering the number of trustworthy, loving, beautiful and loyal Thai girls out there I see no reason to take unnecessary chances or risks. More important than all the above traits is to ask yourself what do your instincts tell you. This is perhaps the most important because no matter what girl you’re with, if you can’t feel comfortable it will never work. And in many cases the warning signs are there, but are just being ignored by the guys. I can’t stress this enough…always trust your gut.

In some cases I hear from guys who have already been burned and are curious how they can meet good Thai girls. While you might think that meeting and dating Thai girls is a real minefield, I don’t think it’s any more difficult than meeting and dating anywhere else. Putting the language barrier aside it’s actually quite similar to dating in your own country, assuming that in your own country you’re willing to meet and date girls with substantially different backgrounds from yours. The Thai culture and thought process can be quite different than what you are used to, but to be honest I’ve met girls here in the U.S. whose background, thoughts and behaviors seemed totally alien to me. So while the culture question may be difficult I don’t believe it is as difficult as some people make it. Adaptability and a willingness to learn and accept on your part can go a very long way in understanding why your Thai girl behaves the way she does.

Bear in mind that the girls in Bangkok and other tourist areas may already possess quite a bit of knowledge about your culture from dealings with other foreigners. Chances are if she’s interested in dating you she’s interested in foreigners in general and has met quite a few and has already learned quite a bit of English. These girls can be considered much more open and adaptable than the majority of Thai’s, but that doesn’t mean you’ll still need to occasionally push a bit to keep her communicating fully. Here’s a great response to my own thoughts on Thai girls marrying foreigners from theperspective of a Thai girl. Well worth reading in my opinion.

Those living in Thailand should have no problem meeting girls the same way you would in your own country. Simply starting a conversation when shopping, at work and even on the BTS or MRT can often lead to unexpected events. Remember to be always polite and you can get far simply by asking for help regarding unknown Thai words or pronunciation. Those living outside Thailand have it a bit harder, but thanks to the internet not as impossible as it was even 10 years ago. As you know I met Golf at Thai Love Links and highly recommend their service. While it seems there may be more scammers appearing on the site recently as far as I can tell most are Nigerian or some such which makes them pretty easy to filter out. Overall the site is still top notch though and I receive many emails from guys who have met their girlfriends or future wives there.

In the end, the truth of the matter is that trust in a relationship simply takes time. And remember that it’s not only trust on your part that needs to develop. The girl needs time and good reason to come to trust you. Chances are she’s dated and been burned in the past. Thai guys are notorious for this and foreigners can be just as good at disappearing, leaving the poor girl alone and wondering what happened or what she might have done wrong. Trust in a relationship with anyone is a two way street and Thai girls are no different. Just take it slow, get to know each other and keep the lines of communication wide open. When Golf and I were dating and I was back in the U.S. I called and talked to her daily, sometimes for hours. I honestly believe that this helped move our relationship forward much more quickly.

And if you have any doubts or questions please feel free to leave a comment here or email me directly. Golf and I are more than happy to help with any questions or concerns.

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You may have noticed the large ad prominently placed in the right sidebar recently. The photo is actually a link to Thai LoveLinks, which is a Thai oriented dating site. Why is it there? Well aside from the obvious reason that it fits with the subject matter of the blog (all things Thai) Thai LoveLinks is a site that is very dear to both Golf and I.

You see, its at Thai LoveLinks that Golf and I first met almost five years ago. It’s amazing to me that time has flown by so quickly and now we’ve added a third member to our family and it all started at this site. As you can see from the two of us the site definitely works. If you are looking for a new romance with a Thai girl or even if you just want to make some new friends or get someone to teach you Thai on a regular basis the Thai LoveLinks is worth a look.

Unlike some other foreign dating sites I’ve been to there appear to be very few scammers or con artists working Thai LoveLinks. All I found were genuine Thai women looking to meet foreigners whether it be for love or even friendship. Not only did I meet my future wife at Thai LoveLinks, but I was able to significantly add to my Thai vocabulary and even my pronunciation since some of the girls I spoke with used webcams.

When I started using Thai LoveLinks I got message after message from Thai women that wanted to chat with me. Before I met Golf I think I was regularly talking with 4 or 5 Thai girls. Two of them especially were very helpful to me in learning more Thai. Even now they remember me and if I write to them they write back immediate and want to know how I’ve been and if everything is well with both me and Golf.

To give you some idea, here is the description from Thai LoveLinks themselves: “ThaiLoveLinks.com is a Thai dating and Thai personals site connecting Thai singles seeking friendship, dating, romance or marriage. Join our dating site and start using chat rooms, meet Thai girls seeking marriage, Thai ladies seeking friendship, Thai penpals and more. Get started now! – Join for free to start meeting Thai women for dating, romance or maybe even marriage.”

Thai LoveLinks is a great way to meet Thai ladies, if Golf and I aren’t testimony enough just look at the page after page of featured success stories on Thai LoveLinks. You’ll see that this site has made many men and women very happy. I wish there were some way to share the happiness I have now because of Thai LoveLinks with the whole world. Well, thanks to this blog I can share it with some people at least. If you want to make friends with a Thai girl, have a penpal, learn Thai or even find the love of your life then you have to go to Thai LoveLinks.

If you do go to Thai LoveLinks and you find that you need help with something that is language or culturally related please drop me a line in the comments here. Both Golf and myself would be more than happy to help you in any way we can.

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Over the years I’ve read a lot of posts, articles and stories about Thai bar girls and specifically about foreign men falling in love with Thai bar girls. And I would say that 95% of these stories end badly. For the other 5% the stories are often new so we don’t yet know what the end will be. I think we can all guess though.

Oftentimes the writer or poster has even read the warnings and been given specific additional warnings by the regulars on each forum. And yet they continue in their folly only to show up later a bit older and wiser for their experience. Each year you read about Americans or Europeans or Australians who commit suicide in places like Patong and Pattaya. Most of these stories revolve around a bar girl and the loss of considerable amounts of money. Since the victim is now dead we will never know the complete truth, but based on past tragedies we can guess.

What is it that drives men to such stupidity even in the face of overwhelming evidence that Thai bar girls should, in every case, be avoided as romantic interests, girlfriends and wives. Why are the men so blind and each one of thousands telling himself “this is different”. It’s not different, it never is and it never will be.

Ask yourself this…would you behave the same way in your home country? What I mean is would you shack up with a prostitute and give her the equivalent of several thousand dollars a month or more? Would you look the other way when you know she is out sleeping with other men or even keeping other boyfriends?

Maybe some of you would and you do it here in Thailand because you can’t afford to do the same thing in your home country. If that’s the case then you are asking for and deserve anything that comes your way. If that’s not you then wise up…take a look at your relationship and ask yourself these questions:

1. Is your gf/wife evasive about her phone calls? Does she get calls at odd hours? If you had a gf/wife in your home country and she was hiding phone calls from you wouldn’t you be suspicious.
2. Does she consistently need money to send home. Seems to be the same amount each month. This is not conclusive, but could indicate a bf/husband back in her hometown.
3. Tattoos and piercings outside of her ears (nose and lips especially) is an indication of a bar girl. “Good” Thai girls don’t do this, although this is changing for the younger generation, but mostly in Bangkok only.
4. Are her friends involved in prostitution. This is perhaps one of the biggest indicators as like types tend to gravitate together because as with anything else they have similar experiences to share.

Basically just practice some common sense. I know that many men lose their minds when they come to Thailand for the first time. They aren’t used to seeing so many beautiful girls and they certainly aren’t used to getting the attention of beautiful girls of any kind in their home countries. And even if they are used to getting the beautiful girls at home it never seemed so easy as in Thailand.

So, they think with their penis’ instead of their brains and they ignore things that would set off multiple alarms if they were back in their normal home surroundings. Somehow everything else around them is so different even surreal at times so their new relationship with the Thai bargirl, while strange is no stranger than anything else in their new lives. Instead of using their usual filters to determine what’s good and bad, right and wrong the brain sets up a new category called “This is Thailand” to measure against. Since all of the data is new many men make mistakes.

You can almost hear their brains crying out to them, “It isn’t supposed to be like this. Why is she always secretive or disappearing? Why does she talk with so many other men? Etc etc”. And the new “This is Thailand” section of their brains tells them “Calm down, I know what you’re used to, but This is Thailand it’s not like (the U.S. U.K. Australia or wherever you’re from). Everything is different here so this is probably normal”.

It’s not normal. Listen to your common sense when in Thailand just like you would at home. Things are different here, but not that different. Human nature is still human nature, even if the rules are a bit different. Take the advice of others who have come before you. Yes it is possible that Noi is different, but it is a very small chance. Do you want to gamble your savings, your heart and your sanity on it? Why not just take the time to meet a nice girl instead of a Thai bar girl and avoid all the heartache and expense.

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You may remember the great comment and post from our friend Pass about why Thai girls choose foreigners for love and marriage. I think it was really wonderful of Pass to share her thoughts with us and give us some insight into the thought process of Thai girls.

Now, we have the chance to return the favor by providing some information for Pass. She has written to me and asked if I and my readers can help her and other Thai girls by answering the question: “What kind of Thai girls do the foreigners fall in love with”? [...]

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ThaiLoveLinks is a niche web dating site that connects unmarried men and Thai girls for dating and marriage. It is quite well known in Thailand as the place to go for Thai girls trying to meet foreigners for love. It’s where Golf and I met and for that reason alone I can’t recommend it highly enough. Here’s a quick review of the site: [...]

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Has it ever crossed your mind that the idea of Thai brides for Westerners makes sense? If you have, you’re certainly not alone. Lots of guys over the previous several years have been concluding that the ladies in their native countries are not for them and they are deciding to look outside their homes for a new bride. And quite a few of them ultimately decide on Thai brides for their laid back personalities, sexy looks and awesome attention to their spouses. Certainly, a Thai bride can be a good choice for lots of you, but how do you go about locating a Thai woman willing to wed a Westerner?

I have thought of three courses to go about locating a Thai bride. There may be more, but I believe these 3 are the most common. Obviously it is your choice to decide which is the best compatible with your personality and circumstances.

Move to Thailand for A Few Months Up to a Year or More

This is the course that many fellows used in the past, prior to the internet and easy long distance communication became common. This is the most costly and obviously is not a method that is available to most as things like employment and families keep us tied to our home land. However, if you could somehow make the move to Thailand for six to twelve months this is a great way for locating Thai brides. Not only is it easy to meet the girls because you’re located in Thailand, you also get the added benefit of learning some of the language and culture which is a huge benefit in getting to know your Thai bride. Believe me when I let you know that Thai’s do not think the same as Westerners and gaining a knowledge of Thai culture will provide a great benefit to you, most notably in the 1st year of marriage.

Use a Marriage Agency to Locate Thai Brides

There are numerous marriage agencies who are in business to connect you with Thai ladies searching for foreigners as husbands. These agencies will typically set up meetings between you and the women and a few will even schedule parties where there will be numerous Thai girls together with a few foreign men. The purpose of course is to get to know each other in a safe place and decide if you want to get together again later more privately. The agencies can be quite expensive and the number of women may be somewhat limited, but this can make a good alternative if you don’t have a great deal of time free to spend in Thailand and you desire the expertise of a matchmaker.

Meet Your Thai Bride Online

Nowadays more and more men are going this route. It’s really cheap and simple to sign up with an online Thai dating website that it has become the method of choice for both Western fellows and Thai girls. The top Thai personals websites have 100’s of thousands of registered members and they make it so simple to communicate with the girls that you may be overwhelmed initially. When you think that all of the Thai women on the Thai dating sites are looking for foreigners, the low cost and the simplicity of communication I feel that hooking up with Thai girls online is probably the preferred course for the majority of guys.

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It seems to me that there are lots of of fellows hunting for a Thailand girl to be their wife and I believe this is a very good idea. I can assure you from first hand experience that a Thai wife makes a wonderful partner and can make your life more rich. If you haven’t already taken the first step I recommend that you do so by getting online and looking around at who some of the Thai dating sites can offer you.

You will find that your new Thai wife won’t be leery of work, but you should give her some space in her imaginings of a new life of leisure. A Thai lady will cook dinner, do the laundry, bring you a drink, spoil you and even deal with you hanging out at the local pub for a few drinks every evening as long as you take care of her as well (which might include sending money home to her family). You might even go as far as making her responsible for the family budget and you can be certain that she will do an excellent job.

You Need to Be Patient
I can’t even tell you how often I’ve heard of fellows going to Thailand on vacation and getting hitched to the first lovely lady they encounter. This is not only foolish for the bloke, but equally foolish for the girl who is probably just taking whatever chance she gets as her chances of meeting Europeans and Americans is limited, especially if she lives and works outside the tourist areas.

In your own country you wouldn’t imagine marrying someone you met a month ago. It takes time to get to know your new friend, to comprehend her culture and background and to gain each others trust. You also need to comprehend the financial repercussions of your relationship, as throughout history in Thailand marriage is a financial partnership as much as a romantic one. Be sure to look before you leap.

That’s not to say it won’t work if you meet someone and get to know them very quickly. Golf and I knew each other less than 5 months when we got married. Sometimes you know when something is right in your heart and it’s worth it to take a chance. It was definitely worth it for us.

Considering Age vs Beauty
It’s true that younger Thai girls are obviously prettier and vivacious, many times they are less settled and less reliable. Older Thai girls usually will have improved social skills, better values and will be more steadfast. Thailand has undergone quite a bit of changes over the past twenty to thirty and you’ll find that the younger Thai women might be lacking in a lot of the former charm and innocence of Thailand. This certainly doesn’t mean that you can’t find a charming wife in Thailand, it just means that your Thailand girl will be a bit more worldly than in the past.

Be a culture scholar
Make an attempt to learn Thai language and learn as much as you can about the Thai culture. There are many sites on the net you can visit to learn about Thai culture and to learn some Thai language (hint: subscribe to Thailand Musings). If you ever expect to cross the cultural boundary you should at least respect your Thai wife enough to try.

It still amazes me that lots of fellows still travel to Thailand expecting to collect a new Thai bride like getting a new wardrobe. Even more amazing is that they imagine their new Thai wife will slide right into life back in their home city without any understanding of her culture. Not to say it can’t be accomplished, but I think it is crucial to at least have knowledge of Thai culture so you understand what your bride is going through. Thai and Western cultures can be totally different in many ways.

Don’t shy away from a shy Thailand girl
Thai’s are usually very conservative and shy so I would expect at least a bit of shyness from your Thai girl, especially at the start. Don’t be surprised if the lady invites a family member or best friend with them on your first couple of dates, this is completely normal for Thai culture. Also, don’t be surprised if it takes a bit of time to have your 1st kiss. Romantic actions aren’t viewed as they are in the West and intimacy is something that typically comes later in a relationship in Thailand than in America.

That being said, typically a shy Thailand girl is also a good lady. One who has good manners, morals and values. These are exactly the types of women you want to be looking for if you’re looking to marry a Thai lady. Please be patient as often Thai good girls will think that once you are sharing a bed your future marriage is guaranteed. Try not to hurt them.

Final Thoughts
While I have tried to be as objective as possible each guys experiences will obviously be unique. Some of you may not agree with what I’ve written and that’s fine, it is simply a general guideline for successfully finding a Thai wife. I have some experience in this matter obviously, but it is uniquely mine. While stereotypes abound on the internet you’ll find that they are rarely completely true. If you approach finding a good Thailand girl with your eyes wide open and fully informed you stand a much better chance of having success.

Keep in mind that there is no such thing as the perfect relationship. Any good relationship will require work. Meeting the perfect Thai wife will give you the feeling you’re on cloud nine and certainly many guys report feeling like the happiest man on the planet once they locate their perfect Thailand girl.

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Lately I’ve noticed that there are lots of guys out there considering lovely Thai girls as girlfriends, and why not? Because you’re here taking in this post I know that you too are interested in finding out how to meet Thai girls for dating, love and maybe even more and I hope I can assist you in your search.

If you have visited Thailand in the past then you’ve seen the large numbers of lovely Thai girls in the streets and stores and you probably already know how simple it is to find a Thai girlfriend. If that is what you want then I know you’ll be able to get what you need.

And how about those of you reading this that haven’t been to Thailand – is it possible for you also date a attractive Thai girlfriend?

Totally and you should know that it’s quite easy besides. Because of the genius of the internet finding Thailand girlfriends couldn’t be easier or more rewarding. All you have to do is enroll with a good Thai personals site and within five minutes you can be meeting ladies in Thailand. By the way, this works for those of you that have visited Thailand as well.

Connecting with lovely Thai girls online is the next great thing in dating. Thai ladies have obviously caught on to the web and it appears that this is now their medium of choice to meet single European and American fellows. You’ll find that there are literally hundreds of thousands of girls that have created profiles on Thai dating websites and they all have one thing in common – they are interested in connecting with and marrying Europeans and Americans.

This is a great development for us fellows on many levels. First off, meeting Thai girls is now cheap and easy. It’s no longer necessary to put out thousands of Euro’s or dollars just to travel to Thailand and begin the process of connecting with the women. You can start meeting lovely Thai ladies very inexpensively from the comfort of home.

This is how Golf and I met and I can’t say enough how glad I am that I finally put my pride aside and decided to try out ThaiLoveLinks. It was definitely the best decision of my life thus far.

Secondly, it’s no longer necessary to frequent the pubs of Thailand to meet girls. Now, I like a beer as much as any other man, but let’s face it, the honesty of the women in clubs is quite often questionable. It may be good for a one nighter, but not really so appealing if you’re searching for a girlfriend or spouse. Now you can keep your partying separate from your girlfriend search, which is probably a very wise thing.

So, listen to me if you are thinking of Thailand girlfriends get yourself online and start the search there. You can always travel to Thailand after you have gotten to know some Thai girls, which might make your visit even more pleasant. I hope this has been a help to a few of you and please leave me a comment below if you have any questions.

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Why do you need a Thai girl as your girlfriend? Have you thought about the real answer to this query? I believe for quite a few men it’s really easy to figure out as they have either been residing in Thailand for some time or else they have considerable experience with Thai culture and Thai girls. On the other hand, if this is a dream for you and you haven’t had any experience with Thailand you could need to think a bit on why you desire a Thai girlfriend.

For whatever reason, there are a considerable number of Western men who adore Thai women. It may be the slim bodies, the attitudes or the attention of Thai girls that makes them so pretty, but the point is they ARE sexy. Traveling to Thailand is simple enough and you could be surprised to find that getting a Thai girlfriend is simple enough as well.

There are the typical methods of meeting girls such as clubs, but I wouldn’t counsel taking this way unless you’re prepared for distrust, requests for dosh and a broken heart. There are better methods and you’ll discover that there are many awesome sites online to assist you in meeting Thai girls. These sites have tens of thousands of women all hunting for the exact thing you are, friendship, love and maybe even marriage.

Any of the Thai dating website can put you in contact with literally thousands of cute Thai girls who are looking to become your girlfriend. It won’t make any difference whether you’re in Thailand or located elsewhere in the world, these personals sites will make sure it’s easy for you to locate a Thai girlfriend. You’ll discover that quite a few of the ladies register for love, but many are also there simply looking for a bit of fun.

After connecting with a few of the girls, working past the inevitable language issues and getting to know a few of them you’re very likely to spend a bit of your time emailing and chatting online. If you can get a webcam this is even better as the ladies will certainly desire to see what you look like. It shouldn’t be too long until you have a pretty serious communication going with one (or more) of the girls.

At this juncture you’ll possibly desire to head over to Thailand, if you’re not already there, and hook up with the women in person. While the personals scene in Thailand is super for Westerners, there are 1000’s of blokes who have gone the route of connecting with their Thai girlfriends through Thai personals sites. It certainly beats meeting the girls in a bar or club.

If you do travel to Thailand and meet a girl in a club there are certainly some things to be aware of. It appears that a lot men lose all common sense when connecting with Thai women in clubs, so attempt to keep your wits about you and don’t add to the fodder for stories about love gone sour on the internet. Always remember that the whole reason women work in bars is to make cash. They may fantasize of a knight in shining armor to sweep them away, but this is simply that, a dream, and earning money is primary.

If you go about it correctly and take your time then there’s no reason you can’t locate a Thai girlfriend and love through the Thai personals websites. Many websites on the web attempt to tell you about getting a Thai girlfriend as if it is a set process, but it’s really no different than beginning a relationship anywhere else. Simply take it easy, be honest and trust your instincts.

It’s not possible to totally explain how to get a Thai girlfriend in a post like this, just as it wouldn’t be possible to completely tell you about getting a girlfriend anywhere in the world. The first step is to begin meeting the women and the easiest method for doing this is using the Thai personals sites. After that it’s your call where you need any potential relationships to go. All I can say is that Thai girls are super and finding a Thai girlfriend is easier than you might believe.

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Wouldn’t you like to meet a hot Thai girl? Most guys I’ve spoken with love Thai girls and think that Thai girls are exceptionally hot. I’m pretty sure they would all love to find a simple way to connect with hot young Thai girls.

In the past, if you were interested in Thai girls for love and dating you would have to hop on a plane and go to Thailand. It’s possible that those who lived in large metropolis’ like New York or London could be able to locate Thai girls without the trouble of traveling, but in a lot cases these women were already dating someone or married. The only sure way to meet a hot Thai girl was to go to Thailand.

This presented several issues including the money, the time involved and the fact that having arrived in Thailand you needed to locate the women that were actually interested in American fellows. This was frequently not a simple task in a city of millions.

That has now changed and all blokes can now connect with a hot Thai girl. And you can bet that they are interested in connecting with you as well. Yep, there are tens of thousands of Thai women going online to connect with European guys. These are all ladies that are very interested in connecting with European and American men and frequently they are even willing to relocate to your country.

In my case, I’m already married to a sexy hot Thai girl (Love You Golf! ), but if I was single I would certainly be online meeting Thai ladies by the hordes. I feel that, there’s no quicker way to meet a hot Thai girl then by using the Thai personals sites. If you’ve never tried it I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. ThaiLoveLinks is where Golf and I met, why not give it a try?

If you have any questions regarding meeting a hot Thai girl online please leave me a comment and I will be pleased to elaborate.

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I get a lot of questions here via email about Thai girls and dating. What is the proper way to approach a Thai girl, how can I tell if she’s a “good” girl vs a bar girl, how to avoid internet scams and that sort of thing. [...]

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Several weeks ago I wrote a post “What Do You Want to Know About Thailand” and I got some very good questions. I know I’ve gotten a bit sidetracked since then and I still have a few questions hanging out there so I want to finish answering those and if anyone else has any questions about Thailand or Thai culture please go back to that post and leave a comment or contact us with your question. I’ll be posting all of the answers here at Thailand Musings so don’t forget to subscribe so you won’t miss any of the great questions and answers.

Here is another question regarding Thai culture and the willingness of Thai women to meet and marry significantly older western men. I find this a particularly good subject because it is exactly the question that Golf asked me when we first met on ThaiLoveLinks. I think her question went something like “Why do so many old guys try to chat the young girl on here”. Needless to say I took this a bit personally and felt it necessary to explain. The rest is history.

Question about age differences: Let’s face the facts, I am a 55 year old guy talking with a 30 year old Thai woman. I am well aware that I could produce children. But I may not be still around past age 75, who knows? And I could have ten year old kids when I reach retirement age. I do not want to put a woman and kids at risk, and can certainly make provisions for their support after I am gone. I’d be interested in any success or failure stories you have encountered regarding this. Of course, here in the US, this degree of age difference in marriage is relatively rare, and perhaps even somewhat scandalous. Not that I am ungrateful, but why is a large age span seemingly so acceptable for many Thai women?

Stories regarding Thai women and western men meeting and dating or marrying are very common on the internet and will run the gamut from wildly successful to depressing failures. Do a Google search for Thai women + foreign men and you’ll find hours of reading material. For success stories go to the testimonials of ThaiLoveLinks (where Golf and I met) or simply read about Golf and I. The International Herald has a good story about this subject as well. For failure stories you’ll find plenty, but most of them involve Thai bar girls. By meeting a good Thai girl you can avoid a lot of the common pitfalls you find on the internet.

The reason a large age span is acceptable is often very personal to the girls and I hate to generalize, but if I have to do so then there are several commonly accepted reasons that Thai girls date and/or marry foreigners so much older than themselves.

First, many Thai girls are looking for stability, both financial and in the relationship, and older foreign men are typically able to provide both. They are in general financially well off, especially by Thai standards and this is viewed as a definite positive. They are also more settled and less prone to wander than their Thai counterparts. Add to that the western cultural ideal of monogamy and they become even more attractive to Thai women who are used to seeing Thai men that are promiscuous and prone to having mistresses.

Thai’s also value white skin very much and in fact those with darker skin are perceived to be of a lower class in Thai society. Typically children of Thai/western marriages tend to be much lighter skinned and thus more accepted in society. The Thai’s even have a name for such children of mixed parentage which is ‘Luk Kreung’ and literally means ‘child half”. You’ll find many famous Thai actors and models are luk kreung including pop singers Tata Young and Lanna Cumming.

One aspect that is often overlooked by westerners is that traditionally Thai marriages were often arranged by parents, not on the basis of love, but for mutual benefits between the families such as a property tie up or business merger. Westerners don’t understand this type of arranged marriage and often don’t consider this aspect of Thai culture yet it is very ingrained and accepted in Thailand. Because of this Thai women can sometimes view their bodies as property (Thai men view them this way as well which is a reason Thai women don’t care for Thai men) and as such have no problem using it to gain a better social or financial standing.

In the beginning the Thai girl may not even like her husband much, but over time a love and mutual respect grows. As the two get to know each other better an assimilation of each others culture begins to occur and the bonds between a Thai woman and her foreign husband can grow very strong. It’s good to understand these dynamics better, but I think we older western guys should just be thankful for our beautiful Thai ladies and not question too much. After all, it sure beats the alternative.

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To the best of my knowledge, my Thai girlfriend is employed in the finance/accounting area of a small 30-employee Bangkok business. I really have no reason to doubt her, and I naturally take her at her word. It has of course crossed my mind that bar-girls looking for a foreign marriage via an internet profile probably do not disclose their true occupational experience! I will not disrespect the world’s oldest and most pleasant profession, however I really don’t want to marry a former sex-worker. I enjoyed your tips about ladyboy detection, that was a real scream. Do you have any bar-girl detection techniques to share?

Answer: These are not entirely mine, I’ve gotten inspiration for some of them by reading and hearing other experiences. And by no means are these 100% spot on, just like everywhere in the world there are exceptions to rules, but they are good indicators, especially if your Thai girlfriend meets more than 2.

Keep in mind too that for many of the younger Thai urban girls these rules do not necessarily apply. Things are a bit different in Bangkok than they are out in rural Thailand or even in other Thai cities. The younger generation of Thai’s are moving away from traditional Thai values rapidly. What was true 5 or 10 years ago doesn’t necessarily apply any longer, especially when considering the university educated middle class or hi-so Thai’s.

Take these warnings as what they are, just warnings to keep your eyes open. Your Thai girl may be a good girl or she may be a bad girl, it’s often hard to tell these days as the lines have become a bit blurred.

- She is very familiar with one of the pay-for-play areas in Thailand. If she is able to give you an in depth tour of Patpong, Nana Plaza or Pattaya, especially the tourist bar scene then she most likely was or is a bargirl.

- She wears a lot of makeup. In Thailand the good girls don’t wear makeup very much. This too is changing, but even those that do wear make up wear very little, mostly just some cover-up to make them look whiter and MAYBE some blush. Heavy eyeliner or eyeshadow is definitely in the realm of bargirls. If your Thai girl is in the fashion industry this may differ, but in general Thai girls don’t wear much makeup.

- She isn’t shy about kissing, holding hands or touching in public. Good Thai girls do not kiss or touch in public. Again, this is slowly changing in Bangkok and if you’ve been together awhile she will be less reluctant, but the fact is that Thai’s do not generally show affection in public. If your Thai girlfriend regularly pats your ass in public she may have been a bargirl.

- She has had a baby, but the baby is not with her. A large percentage of girls that work in the pay-for-play industry have had children that they’ve left with their mothers, aunts or other relatives – so they can work unencumbered. This is generally more true for younger Thai girls. Older girls may have kids at home with mom because they were previously married and the Thai guy left them high and dry. This is a fairly common occurrence and one reason Thai women are starting to look to guys from the west for marriage. Western males are much more likely to stay in a monogamous relationship than Thai guys. Still, Thai women love their kids as much as anyone so if there are kids and they are not with the mom there is a reason and that reason might be because the mom is a bargirl.

- Your girl isn’t a virgin. This is a pretty good clue actually. In Thai society – a girl that is not a virgin gets no dowry and probably gets no decent husband either. A girl that loses her virginity had better marry the guy. If she does not – then she is spoiled goods and the Thai guys won’t marry her. They will almost NEVER marry a girl that has been married and has a child. They have a severe loss of face for this – to be raising someone else’s child. There are exceptions – but, I’d say this is a BIG CLUE.

- If all she seems to care about is money, especially your money, then she very well might be a bargirl. Good Thai girls will not talk about money, it’s not something they are typically obsessed with. The girls that are obsessed by it will do whatever they can to get more. How does your typical Thai with no university education or skills do to get more money? Even if they are not outright bargirls there are girls who will go out with guys to dinner or a movie, or maybe right back to their rooms simply to get an extra 1000 baht for a new cellphone or clothes or whatever it is she feels that she needs. As I’ve said before, a girl can live in Bangkok quite easily on 10,000 baht a month and many do. Those who aren’t happy living that lifestyle will do whatever they have to to get more money and often that includes the bargirl life.

- If she has friends in Pattaya, Patpong or Nana Plaza and she’s keeping in close contact with them – she is or was or may turn out to be a bargirl if the relationship with you doesn’t work.

- If she has tattoos then she may not necessarily be a bargirl, but she worked in the pay for play industry in some fashion. Maybe she was a masseuse or fishbowl girl, served drinks in a bar or even worked as a freelancer, but she was connected in some way with bargirls if she has a tattoo.

- If she has piercings beside her earrings – she was or is a bargirl. If she has her tongue pierced she was or is 100% without fail, a bargirl. If her nose or navel is pierced – not 100%, but north of 90% I’d say.

- If she goes to another place to talk on the cellphone then she is hiding something. You should be wondering what she has to hide from you. Most likely if she’s hiding something it is another man. Many of the bargirls in Thailand are married to a Thai guy or have many foreign boyfriends calling her. They get money from the boyfriends and they send their money to the Thai guys. It’s what they do for love!

- If her English is pretty good. Most Thai’s have bad English skills, even those who work in tourist areas or hotels. If your Thai girlfriend understands anything that has to do with money or a bar or restaurant situation she may be or was a bargirl. This is especially true if she makes jokes to you about “short time, love you long time, no money no honey…”. These are typical bar jokes and if she knows them she was very likely a bargirl in the past or present.

- She no longer takes care of you once you’re in a relationship with you. Bargirls will try very hard to hook you, but once you’re on the hook all she wants to do is watch TV, eat and gossip with her friends. She won’t want to cook, but will send out for food everyday. You would expect that she would view you as a godsend since you are making 5-10 times as much money as any Thai guy would and supporting her lavishly from a Thai standpoint. Instead she tries to minimize your impact on their lives. She will ask for more things all the time, going out to eat, better cell phone, bigger TV, cars, vacations, anything that others have that they want. They will never be satisfied with what they have and they will not give much back in the relationship. They are used to the bargirl lifestyle which is to sleep, eat, watch TV and make sure you can buy what everyone else have and then show off what you have.

- You’re married and she has a separate bank account. A bargirl will use this account for two purposes. First to transfer money out to a Thai boyfriend/husband and second to receive money from past customers. Some guys will continue to send money to bargirls for a very long time and of course the girls will continue to accept it as long as it’s being sent.

- If she is not reachable by phone sometimes – she is up to something. She may not be a bargirl, but something is seriously wrong with that picture. A cell phone is a Thai girls link to the world and everyone she knows and they can and will answer it even when riding 50 mph on the back of a motorcycle. If your Thai girlfriends frequently doesn’t answer her phone when you call there’s something going on she doesn’t want you to know about.

As I said, these aren’t hard and fast rules, but are more like warning signs. Keep your eyes open and use your common sense.

If you’re reading this and you’ve had some experience with Thai bargirls then maybe you can add some more to what I’ve written. Are there other warning signs I’ve missed? Leave a comment and let us know.

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