Hello and Sawasdee ka friends of Thailand Musings,

Last week I talked about divorce between Thai women and western men, and even though I know it is a sad subject I think it is an important one so I did a little more research and I found out some interesting information.

Did you know that according to some recent statistics from the Bangkok district office the amount of marriages between Thai and Farang has been rising at about 10% per year over the past decade and with a very interesting 50% of marriages registered at this office being between Thai and Farang. Remember though that not all marriages between Thai people are registered because quite often marriages between Thai and Thai are either Buddhist ceremonies or just recognized between families.

It would seem about 6% of these registered marriages (approx 6500 marriages registered) end in divorce and that 10% of those are cross cultural marriages. Some more statistics are that USA, UK, Canada, New Zealand and Australia all finish in the Top 15 or 20 highest divorce rates with the USA taking top spot!!!…Thailand comes in at 22^nd behind Singapore and China.

This is why I want to give you the secret  what I have proved to be the tips of…

“How to save your marital life in a secure place of love forever”

With a Series of Tips called…  “ Look after love and love will look after you”

So how do you look after love, well…..Do you have love?…are you sure?…I am joking a little here but what I mean is that if you are not really serious to give your love to someone then to be honest you may not have a real interest in these tips.

“Because it’s not fun to play with LOVE when it can hurt people, be careful with that! “

My experience about love and relationships spans more than 20 years. I have learned and tested from good and bad, bitter and sweet, hope and hurt, happy and sad with many mistakes along the way and let me tell you the taste is not always delicious but it keeps me lively….ha ha ha

I really found out what love is and what really works for not only my self but my friends and many couples who took my advice to sort out their relationship issues and It really worked for them too.

“Wow!… Can you imagine how great?  Yes, well done!!…

I was so excited for them and happy to be someone who could help save their relationships.”

So if we think of ” Love as a Food ” then love is cooked by 2 people and when it comes to the recipes of love I want to share with you the many ingredients I have discovered so you can cook for yourself any taste you want to make you happy and enjoy life together.

It is very interesting right?  To follow this series,…..See you next week!

Angella Quote of the week

“Love can be a tonic or a poison, it depends on you”

With love, hope and solutions

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One common theme in many of the emails I get is whether or not the author of the email can trust their Thai girlfriend. Often they are back in their own home country and the girl is in Thailand and they are understandably frustrated and concerned by the lack of physical proximity and the sporadic communication. The fact that they really have no idea what is happening on a day to day basis in their girlfriends life can make them suspicious and jealous, sometimes with reason, but many times as a function of their lack of details and insight into the girls lives.

As many guys can tell you I respond to all these emails as best I can and have even chatted on IM and through Skype with some of the guys who write to me with their concerns about trusting their Thai girlfriends. In some cases the suspicion is well founded and in others it often seems to be a case of misguided jealousy. The thing is, in every case I only get the guys side of the story which is colored by their own perception. I never have the chance to talk with the Thai girl to see if my instincts tell me she’s what would be considered a good Thai girl or not.

While many stories you find on the internet may tell you differently, I don’t think that Thai girls in general are untrustworthy. On the contrary, I feel that for the most part Thai girls can not only be trusted, but are often more devoted and trustworthy than the majority of western women. Look around at how many promiscuous and cheating girls you find in the West and you’ll know what I mean. Another good indication is the heinously high divorce rate in most Western countries. Contrast that with the sub 10% divorce rate in Thailand.

While this is certainly not set in stone I think the following considerations will tell you how trustworthy (in general) your Thai girlfriend is. And just for the record I think many of the negative traits would apply to western girls as well.

General traits of untrustworthy girls:

• She works in a bar, coyote place or massage parlor.
• She is often out late at night.
• She doesn’t accept phone calls from you and doesn’t return calls, IM’s or emails.
• She asks you for financial help before you’ve actually met or lies about why she needs the money.
• Most of her friends work in bars and massage parlors.

Bear in mind that the above are quite generalized. Meeting just one of the criteria may not be an automatic “No”, but if she meets several I think the warning signs have been posted for you. Considering the number of trustworthy, loving, beautiful and loyal Thai girls out there I see no reason to take unnecessary chances or risks. More important than all the above traits is to ask yourself what do your instincts tell you. This is perhaps the most important because no matter what girl you’re with, if you can’t feel comfortable it will never work. And in many cases the warning signs are there, but are just being ignored by the guys. I can’t stress this enough…always trust your gut.

In some cases I hear from guys who have already been burned and are curious how they can meet good Thai girls. While you might think that meeting and dating Thai girls is a real minefield, I don’t think it’s any more difficult than meeting and dating anywhere else. Putting the language barrier aside it’s actually quite similar to dating in your own country, assuming that in your own country you’re willing to meet and date girls with substantially different backgrounds from yours. The Thai culture and thought process can be quite different than what you are used to, but to be honest I’ve met girls here in the U.S. whose background, thoughts and behaviors seemed totally alien to me. So while the culture question may be difficult I don’t believe it is as difficult as some people make it. Adaptability and a willingness to learn and accept on your part can go a very long way in understanding why your Thai girl behaves the way she does.

Bear in mind that the girls in Bangkok and other tourist areas may already possess quite a bit of knowledge about your culture from dealings with other foreigners. Chances are if she’s interested in dating you she’s interested in foreigners in general and has met quite a few and has already learned quite a bit of English. These girls can be considered much more open and adaptable than the majority of Thai’s, but that doesn’t mean you’ll still need to occasionally push a bit to keep her communicating fully. Here’s a great response to my own thoughts on Thai girls marrying foreigners from theperspective of a Thai girl. Well worth reading in my opinion.

Those living in Thailand should have no problem meeting girls the same way you would in your own country. Simply starting a conversation when shopping, at work and even on the BTS or MRT can often lead to unexpected events. Remember to be always polite and you can get far simply by asking for help regarding unknown Thai words or pronunciation. Those living outside Thailand have it a bit harder, but thanks to the internet not as impossible as it was even 10 years ago. As you know I met Golf at Thai Love Links and highly recommend their service. While it seems there may be more scammers appearing on the site recently as far as I can tell most are Nigerian or some such which makes them pretty easy to filter out. Overall the site is still top notch though and I receive many emails from guys who have met their girlfriends or future wives there.

In the end, the truth of the matter is that trust in a relationship simply takes time. And remember that it’s not only trust on your part that needs to develop. The girl needs time and good reason to come to trust you. Chances are she’s dated and been burned in the past. Thai guys are notorious for this and foreigners can be just as good at disappearing, leaving the poor girl alone and wondering what happened or what she might have done wrong. Trust in a relationship with anyone is a two way street and Thai girls are no different. Just take it slow, get to know each other and keep the lines of communication wide open. When Golf and I were dating and I was back in the U.S. I called and talked to her daily, sometimes for hours. I honestly believe that this helped move our relationship forward much more quickly.

And if you have any doubts or questions please feel free to leave a comment here or email me directly. Golf and I are more than happy to help with any questions or concerns.

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You may have noticed the large ad prominently placed in the right sidebar recently. The photo is actually a link to Thai LoveLinks, which is a Thai oriented dating site. Why is it there? Well aside from the obvious reason that it fits with the subject matter of the blog (all things Thai) Thai LoveLinks is a site that is very dear to both Golf and I.

You see, its at Thai LoveLinks that Golf and I first met almost five years ago. It’s amazing to me that time has flown by so quickly and now we’ve added a third member to our family and it all started at this site. As you can see from the two of us the site definitely works. If you are looking for a new romance with a Thai girl or even if you just want to make some new friends or get someone to teach you Thai on a regular basis the Thai LoveLinks is worth a look.

Unlike some other foreign dating sites I’ve been to there appear to be very few scammers or con artists working Thai LoveLinks. All I found were genuine Thai women looking to meet foreigners whether it be for love or even friendship. Not only did I meet my future wife at Thai LoveLinks, but I was able to significantly add to my Thai vocabulary and even my pronunciation since some of the girls I spoke with used webcams.

When I started using Thai LoveLinks I got message after message from Thai women that wanted to chat with me. Before I met Golf I think I was regularly talking with 4 or 5 Thai girls. Two of them especially were very helpful to me in learning more Thai. Even now they remember me and if I write to them they write back immediate and want to know how I’ve been and if everything is well with both me and Golf.

To give you some idea, here is the description from Thai LoveLinks themselves: “ThaiLoveLinks.com is a Thai dating and Thai personals site connecting Thai singles seeking friendship, dating, romance or marriage. Join our dating site and start using chat rooms, meet Thai girls seeking marriage, Thai ladies seeking friendship, Thai penpals and more. Get started now! – Join for free to start meeting Thai women for dating, romance or maybe even marriage.”

Thai LoveLinks is a great way to meet Thai ladies, if Golf and I aren’t testimony enough just look at the page after page of featured success stories on Thai LoveLinks. You’ll see that this site has made many men and women very happy. I wish there were some way to share the happiness I have now because of Thai LoveLinks with the whole world. Well, thanks to this blog I can share it with some people at least. If you want to make friends with a Thai girl, have a penpal, learn Thai or even find the love of your life then you have to go to Thai LoveLinks.

If you do go to Thai LoveLinks and you find that you need help with something that is language or culturally related please drop me a line in the comments here. Both Golf and myself would be more than happy to help you in any way we can.

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You may remember the great comment and post from our friend Pass about why Thai girls choose foreigners for love and marriage. I think it was really wonderful of Pass to share her thoughts with us and give us some insight into the thought process of Thai girls.

Now, we have the chance to return the favor by providing some information for Pass. She has written to me and asked if I and my readers can help her and other Thai girls by answering the question: “What kind of Thai girls do the foreigners fall in love with”? [...]

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ThaiLoveLinks is a niche web dating site that connects unmarried men and Thai girls for dating and marriage. It is quite well known in Thailand as the place to go for Thai girls trying to meet foreigners for love. It’s where Golf and I met and for that reason alone I can’t recommend it highly enough. Here’s a quick review of the site: [...]

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Do you ever ponder why quite a few European blokes frequently prefer dating Thai girls? It’s really not too hard of a question to answer in my mind. This article makes sense of its complex connotations and gives two probable explanations why it just feels good to have a Thai woman for a lover.

They believe in taking care of their fellow:

While it may sound sexist, a good deal of Thai girls are raised to care for their guy and be obedient to him. Serving their fellow and listening to what he says makes them believe they’re being more loyal to him than if they weren’t. If you were to mention these same behaviors around a lot of Western girls you would probably be ripped to bits and called a misogynist for even trying to mention a girl could be caring for a guy and being obedient to him. These behaviors have basically been wiped out in modern Western culture; Western ladies seem to be determined to be doing all they can to not take care of their guy, to not be obedient. Thai woman in contrast are more than happy to care for their guy and do things for him like cook and make sure that he’s happy. Seeing their guy happy makes them feel happy, while seeing their man in turmoil makes them feel uneasy.

Thai women are delicate and feminine:

This may be a second one that might sound offensive, but Thai women tend to be a good deal more delicate and feminine than most westernized women are. They frequently take extra steps to have a diet that will make sure their body remains looking nice and petite. They frequently have strong feminine qualities that are difficult to find in most Western girls. Men value these traits probably more than they value good looks, but you can’t to tell most American girls this as they just won’t believe you. The Thai women exudes all of the qualities of women\girls from an age that’s in the past, it’s so uncommon that a lot of guys would give almost anything to have that kind of girl with them. The Thai woman is a modern version of the American lady of the past.

These are just two of the qualities Western fellows appreciate about Thai women. When fellows say they’d prefer to be dating Thai women, they really are referring to a lady who’s not direct nosed, assertive, or frigid, rather a sweet lady and a girl worth keeping. I’m not stating that you’re not able to locate this type of lady in the West, however it just seems to be much easier to locate in Thailand and that’s why it makes sense for a lot of Western men to be dating Thai women.

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ThaiLoveLinks is a niche web dating site that connects unmarried men and Thai girls for dating and marriage. It is quite well known in Thailand as the place to go for Thai girls trying to meet foreigners for love. It’s where Golf and I met and for that reason alone I can’t recommend it highly enough. Here’s a quick review of the site: Read more…

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Has it ever crossed your mind that the idea of Thai brides for Westerners makes sense? If you have, you’re certainly not alone. Lots of guys over the previous several years have been concluding that the ladies in their native countries are not for them and they are deciding to look outside their homes for a new bride. And quite a few of them ultimately decide on Thai brides for their laid back personalities, sexy looks and awesome attention to their spouses. Certainly, a Thai bride can be a good choice for lots of you, but how do you go about locating a Thai woman willing to wed a Westerner?

I have thought of three courses to go about locating a Thai bride. There may be more, but I believe these 3 are the most common. Obviously it is your choice to decide which is the best compatible with your personality and circumstances.

Move to Thailand for A Few Months Up to a Year or More

This is the course that many fellows used in the past, prior to the internet and easy long distance communication became common. This is the most costly and obviously is not a method that is available to most as things like employment and families keep us tied to our home land. However, if you could somehow make the move to Thailand for six to twelve months this is a great way for locating Thai brides. Not only is it easy to meet the girls because you’re located in Thailand, you also get the added benefit of learning some of the language and culture which is a huge benefit in getting to know your Thai bride. Believe me when I let you know that Thai’s do not think the same as Westerners and gaining a knowledge of Thai culture will provide a great benefit to you, most notably in the 1st year of marriage.

Use a Marriage Agency to Locate Thai Brides

There are numerous marriage agencies who are in business to connect you with Thai ladies searching for foreigners as husbands. These agencies will typically set up meetings between you and the women and a few will even schedule parties where there will be numerous Thai girls together with a few foreign men. The purpose of course is to get to know each other in a safe place and decide if you want to get together again later more privately. The agencies can be quite expensive and the number of women may be somewhat limited, but this can make a good alternative if you don’t have a great deal of time free to spend in Thailand and you desire the expertise of a matchmaker.

Meet Your Thai Bride Online

Nowadays more and more men are going this route. It’s really cheap and simple to sign up with an online Thai dating website that it has become the method of choice for both Western fellows and Thai girls. The top Thai personals websites have 100’s of thousands of registered members and they make it so simple to communicate with the girls that you may be overwhelmed initially. When you think that all of the Thai women on the Thai dating sites are looking for foreigners, the low cost and the simplicity of communication I feel that hooking up with Thai girls online is probably the preferred course for the majority of guys.

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Not so long ago it wasn’t too typical to see Western men and Thai girls as a couple. One of the reasons for this was because it was so costly for the fellows to fly to Thailand and meet Thai singles. Naturally this was a huge hurdle for many men and many couldn’t accept the cost, the time required or the culture shock. It’s a shame because they may have really missed the boat on meeting a amazing Thai lady.

Another reason that you didn’t see this is that there were just a limited amount of Thai ladies who were looking to meet Western fellows. Obviously this tiny group of Thai singles trying to meet with Westerners made it harder to locate, meet and begin a relationship with Thai women for those blokes who were able to go to the time and expense of traveling to Thailand.

Nowadays, none of these scenarios will stop a bloke from connecting with Thai singles. The positive effect of the web on the ease of worldwide communication has removed the need to going to Thailand to meet Thai singles. Anyone with access to the internet now has the ability to connect with Thai’s by the thousands regardless of where in the world they are physically located. It really is just as simple as registering with a Thai dating website and chatting away with 100’s of cute Thai ladies.

There is also another thing happening; making it simpler now to hook up with Thai singles than ever previously. I’m not sure why, but Thai girls currently are really crazy to meet Westerners. It seems as if never before have there been as many Thai women attempting to meet foreigners for dating, relationships and marriage as there are now.

I suppose it is a combination of the easier accessibility of foreigners on the net (once again thanks to the internet), the success of a few online Thai dating websites and the fact that today’s Thai girls are seeing the results of friends and family members that have met Europeans in the recent past. They see that these ladies get to travel, have more money and are very pleased with their European spouses. They see this and they want the same thing for themselves.

And naturally, they let their friends know too. As these tales spread and increase in number larger numbers of Thai singles hop on the web to connect with Americans. And it doesn’t look like the trend is reversing at all; in fact it is just getting stronger.

If you’ve been curious about meeting up with Thai singles then now is an ideal time to hop online and start. Thai women are extremely interested in meeting American fellows currently and you’ll likely meet one that is perfect for you. It definitely beats the heck out of cruising pubs and dealing with European chicks, in my opinion.

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When European and American fellows come to Thailand to meet a Thai girl, quite a few of them will join 1 of the Thai dating firms that abound in Bangkok. Here, they connect with several women who match their criteria, many of them girlish and beautiful and, for a good number of these fellows, matrimony will come after the Thai dating experience quickly. They end up with a youthful spouse, who is typically very cute and has all the things a fellow thinks he wants.

For the ladies who sign up with the Thai dating companies, they typically say they are looking for a man who is kind, considerate, will take care of me, has dosh and a steady job. When they connect with an older Western guy, through the Thai dating company, they believe he possesses all these characteristics.

The issues begin for the lady when they get back to the bloke’s native country to learn he is a working class fellow, with scant money and no life. I’ve met Thai girls who have wedded a man similar to this, traveled to America to live with them, and decided within a couple weeks that this bloke and lifestyle is not possible for them. They turned up back on the first airplane to Thailand a few weeks later. For Thai ladies who decide on this life, they want to see other countries. All Thais however adore Thailand and the lifestyle there. It only takes several weeks in the cold of England or the brashness of the US for them to decide they desire no part of it.

For the men, they marry a Thai girl thinking they have got a girl who is pretty, young, will love them and take care of them, and be their dream spouse. Reality comes when the real personality of the Thai wife comes forward. Thai girls have an outer demeanor of calm and subservience. In truth, Thai ladies rule the roost and have powerful persona’s. For a American bloke who believed he had his meek dream girl, it’s a huge wake up call. Suddenly their Thai wife is tougher and harder to please than any American woman they’ve ever been with. I can attest to this as Golf definitely has a very strong side. In general she is quite easy going and willing to please…right up to the point where you cross her…then watch out!

Additionally there is the truth that the American bloke is deluding himself when he assumes a youthful, attractive Thai woman is dating or marrying him for himself. These women are searching for a better life (who can criticize them!), and it’s completely about economics. Most of them would not date the fifty-five year old American man if they had other options. But, if the 55 year old American guy comes with a huge home, a nice automobile and a large bank account – yep, they’ll take him. In the future however, when he realizes communication with his wife is limited because her language skills are low and she has differing hobbies and desires, that’s when these blokes start thinking about divorce.

For the girls, Thailand has become a place that is concerned with money and material wealth. Most average Thai girls have no recourse to achieving this so, when a Western man appears like a knight in shining armor, not many of them will spurn his propositions. Everything they have ever dreamed of is being given to them. Why would they turn it down? And they are even turning to the Thai dating sites in increasing numbers to obtain this lifestyle for themselves. Don’t believe me? Go check one of the Thai dating sites and see how many girls are signed up there.

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It seems to me that there are lots of of fellows hunting for a Thailand girl to be their wife and I believe this is a very good idea. I can assure you from first hand experience that a Thai wife makes a wonderful partner and can make your life more rich. If you haven’t already taken the first step I recommend that you do so by getting online and looking around at who some of the Thai dating sites can offer you.

You will find that your new Thai wife won’t be leery of work, but you should give her some space in her imaginings of a new life of leisure. A Thai lady will cook dinner, do the laundry, bring you a drink, spoil you and even deal with you hanging out at the local pub for a few drinks every evening as long as you take care of her as well (which might include sending money home to her family). You might even go as far as making her responsible for the family budget and you can be certain that she will do an excellent job.

You Need to Be Patient
I can’t even tell you how often I’ve heard of fellows going to Thailand on vacation and getting hitched to the first lovely lady they encounter. This is not only foolish for the bloke, but equally foolish for the girl who is probably just taking whatever chance she gets as her chances of meeting Europeans and Americans is limited, especially if she lives and works outside the tourist areas.

In your own country you wouldn’t imagine marrying someone you met a month ago. It takes time to get to know your new friend, to comprehend her culture and background and to gain each others trust. You also need to comprehend the financial repercussions of your relationship, as throughout history in Thailand marriage is a financial partnership as much as a romantic one. Be sure to look before you leap.

That’s not to say it won’t work if you meet someone and get to know them very quickly. Golf and I knew each other less than 5 months when we got married. Sometimes you know when something is right in your heart and it’s worth it to take a chance. It was definitely worth it for us.

Considering Age vs Beauty
It’s true that younger Thai girls are obviously prettier and vivacious, many times they are less settled and less reliable. Older Thai girls usually will have improved social skills, better values and will be more steadfast. Thailand has undergone quite a bit of changes over the past twenty to thirty and you’ll find that the younger Thai women might be lacking in a lot of the former charm and innocence of Thailand. This certainly doesn’t mean that you can’t find a charming wife in Thailand, it just means that your Thailand girl will be a bit more worldly than in the past.

Be a culture scholar
Make an attempt to learn Thai language and learn as much as you can about the Thai culture. There are many sites on the net you can visit to learn about Thai culture and to learn some Thai language (hint: subscribe to Thailand Musings). If you ever expect to cross the cultural boundary you should at least respect your Thai wife enough to try.

It still amazes me that lots of fellows still travel to Thailand expecting to collect a new Thai bride like getting a new wardrobe. Even more amazing is that they imagine their new Thai wife will slide right into life back in their home city without any understanding of her culture. Not to say it can’t be accomplished, but I think it is crucial to at least have knowledge of Thai culture so you understand what your bride is going through. Thai and Western cultures can be totally different in many ways.

Don’t shy away from a shy Thailand girl
Thai’s are usually very conservative and shy so I would expect at least a bit of shyness from your Thai girl, especially at the start. Don’t be surprised if the lady invites a family member or best friend with them on your first couple of dates, this is completely normal for Thai culture. Also, don’t be surprised if it takes a bit of time to have your 1st kiss. Romantic actions aren’t viewed as they are in the West and intimacy is something that typically comes later in a relationship in Thailand than in America.

That being said, typically a shy Thailand girl is also a good lady. One who has good manners, morals and values. These are exactly the types of women you want to be looking for if you’re looking to marry a Thai lady. Please be patient as often Thai good girls will think that once you are sharing a bed your future marriage is guaranteed. Try not to hurt them.

Final Thoughts
While I have tried to be as objective as possible each guys experiences will obviously be unique. Some of you may not agree with what I’ve written and that’s fine, it is simply a general guideline for successfully finding a Thai wife. I have some experience in this matter obviously, but it is uniquely mine. While stereotypes abound on the internet you’ll find that they are rarely completely true. If you approach finding a good Thailand girl with your eyes wide open and fully informed you stand a much better chance of having success.

Keep in mind that there is no such thing as the perfect relationship. Any good relationship will require work. Meeting the perfect Thai wife will give you the feeling you’re on cloud nine and certainly many guys report feeling like the happiest man on the planet once they locate their perfect Thailand girl.

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Lately I’ve noticed that there are lots of guys out there considering lovely Thai girls as girlfriends, and why not? Because you’re here taking in this post I know that you too are interested in finding out how to meet Thai girls for dating, love and maybe even more and I hope I can assist you in your search.

If you have visited Thailand in the past then you’ve seen the large numbers of lovely Thai girls in the streets and stores and you probably already know how simple it is to find a Thai girlfriend. If that is what you want then I know you’ll be able to get what you need.

And how about those of you reading this that haven’t been to Thailand – is it possible for you also date a attractive Thai girlfriend?

Totally and you should know that it’s quite easy besides. Because of the genius of the internet finding Thailand girlfriends couldn’t be easier or more rewarding. All you have to do is enroll with a good Thai personals site and within five minutes you can be meeting ladies in Thailand. By the way, this works for those of you that have visited Thailand as well.

Connecting with lovely Thai girls online is the next great thing in dating. Thai ladies have obviously caught on to the web and it appears that this is now their medium of choice to meet single European and American fellows. You’ll find that there are literally hundreds of thousands of girls that have created profiles on Thai dating websites and they all have one thing in common – they are interested in connecting with and marrying Europeans and Americans.

This is a great development for us fellows on many levels. First off, meeting Thai girls is now cheap and easy. It’s no longer necessary to put out thousands of Euro’s or dollars just to travel to Thailand and begin the process of connecting with the women. You can start meeting lovely Thai ladies very inexpensively from the comfort of home.

This is how Golf and I met and I can’t say enough how glad I am that I finally put my pride aside and decided to try out ThaiLoveLinks. It was definitely the best decision of my life thus far.

Secondly, it’s no longer necessary to frequent the pubs of Thailand to meet girls. Now, I like a beer as much as any other man, but let’s face it, the honesty of the women in clubs is quite often questionable. It may be good for a one nighter, but not really so appealing if you’re searching for a girlfriend or spouse. Now you can keep your partying separate from your girlfriend search, which is probably a very wise thing.

So, listen to me if you are thinking of Thailand girlfriends get yourself online and start the search there. You can always travel to Thailand after you have gotten to know some Thai girls, which might make your visit even more pleasant. I hope this has been a help to a few of you and please leave me a comment below if you have any questions.

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Do you think that Thai love is different from love in the West? Quite a few men are looking for information regarding Thai girls and Thai dating that it appears that somehow they have the notion that Thai love is somehow a different sort of love than that found in the West.

It’s true that the rules surrounding dating and matrimony are different in Thailand, but I don’t feel that Thai love is greatly different than that found in any other country of the world. Thai ladies have the same sensitivity and the same depth of love as any other woman, no matter where you might be.

So, try not to read too much into what you will hear about Thai women and dating. Of course, you’ll run up against some differences once the connection is begun if you decide to take it to the next steps, however the actual blooming of love shouldn’t be significantly different than what you are used to in Europe or America.

If you make the effort to get to know the girl and Thai language and culture then you shouldn’t have a lot of trouble in cultivating both a friendship and an enduring love for one another. In questions of the heart I don’t believe that nationality is too considerable. We all have similar feelings no matter what nation we come from.

So please try not to fixate too much on the disparities in the customs of Thailand as you begin your quest to locate a Thai girlfriend. Instead, keep your attention on the lady and her thoughts and dreams. You’re both searching for the same thing, specifically love, and while it might be a ephemeral thing, once located you will wonder how you ever survived without one another.

Trust me, the love of a Thai lady is an astonishing thing and the depth of that love can sometimes be unexpected. If you take the time to really relate to a Thai girl you will fathom completely what I mean.

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I get a lot of questions here via email about Thai girls and dating. What is the proper way to approach a Thai girl, how can I tell if she’s a “good” girl vs a bar girl, how to avoid internet scams and that sort of thing. [...]

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Several weeks ago I wrote a post “What Do You Want to Know About Thailand” and I got some very good questions. I know I’ve gotten a bit sidetracked since then and I still have a few questions hanging out there so I want to finish answering those and if anyone else has any questions about Thailand or Thai culture please go back to that post and leave a comment or contact us with your question. I’ll be posting all of the answers here at Thailand Musings so don’t forget to subscribe so you won’t miss any of the great questions and answers.

Here is another question regarding Thai culture and the willingness of Thai women to meet and marry significantly older western men. I find this a particularly good subject because it is exactly the question that Golf asked me when we first met on ThaiLoveLinks. I think her question went something like “Why do so many old guys try to chat the young girl on here”. Needless to say I took this a bit personally and felt it necessary to explain. The rest is history.

Question about age differences: Let’s face the facts, I am a 55 year old guy talking with a 30 year old Thai woman. I am well aware that I could produce children. But I may not be still around past age 75, who knows? And I could have ten year old kids when I reach retirement age. I do not want to put a woman and kids at risk, and can certainly make provisions for their support after I am gone. I’d be interested in any success or failure stories you have encountered regarding this. Of course, here in the US, this degree of age difference in marriage is relatively rare, and perhaps even somewhat scandalous. Not that I am ungrateful, but why is a large age span seemingly so acceptable for many Thai women?

Stories regarding Thai women and western men meeting and dating or marrying are very common on the internet and will run the gamut from wildly successful to depressing failures. Do a Google search for Thai women + foreign men and you’ll find hours of reading material. For success stories go to the testimonials of ThaiLoveLinks (where Golf and I met) or simply read about Golf and I. The International Herald has a good story about this subject as well. For failure stories you’ll find plenty, but most of them involve Thai bar girls. By meeting a good Thai girl you can avoid a lot of the common pitfalls you find on the internet.

The reason a large age span is acceptable is often very personal to the girls and I hate to generalize, but if I have to do so then there are several commonly accepted reasons that Thai girls date and/or marry foreigners so much older than themselves.

First, many Thai girls are looking for stability, both financial and in the relationship, and older foreign men are typically able to provide both. They are in general financially well off, especially by Thai standards and this is viewed as a definite positive. They are also more settled and less prone to wander than their Thai counterparts. Add to that the western cultural ideal of monogamy and they become even more attractive to Thai women who are used to seeing Thai men that are promiscuous and prone to having mistresses.

Thai’s also value white skin very much and in fact those with darker skin are perceived to be of a lower class in Thai society. Typically children of Thai/western marriages tend to be much lighter skinned and thus more accepted in society. The Thai’s even have a name for such children of mixed parentage which is ‘Luk Kreung’ and literally means ‘child half”. You’ll find many famous Thai actors and models are luk kreung including pop singers Tata Young and Lanna Cumming.

One aspect that is often overlooked by westerners is that traditionally Thai marriages were often arranged by parents, not on the basis of love, but for mutual benefits between the families such as a property tie up or business merger. Westerners don’t understand this type of arranged marriage and often don’t consider this aspect of Thai culture yet it is very ingrained and accepted in Thailand. Because of this Thai women can sometimes view their bodies as property (Thai men view them this way as well which is a reason Thai women don’t care for Thai men) and as such have no problem using it to gain a better social or financial standing.

In the beginning the Thai girl may not even like her husband much, but over time a love and mutual respect grows. As the two get to know each other better an assimilation of each others culture begins to occur and the bonds between a Thai woman and her foreign husband can grow very strong. It’s good to understand these dynamics better, but I think we older western guys should just be thankful for our beautiful Thai ladies and not question too much. After all, it sure beats the alternative.

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