I first went to Thailand in 1997 and immediately fell in love with the country. Thailand at that time to me was mysterious and exotic, full of potentials and pitfalls.
Fast forward to 2010 and here I am after 13 years and many trips to the LOS sharing, with the help of my 
Missing Thailand
I’ve got to say that the greatest part of writing here at Thailand Musings is that I’ve gotten to meet so many wonderful folks from all over the world that share a common passion for Thailand. Everything from the comments to the daily emails I receive from the readers here make me happy that I started this blog and make me want to continue writing more and hopefully improving the spirit of community and sharing.
On the other hand, many days I get a bit sad and depressed when writing for Thailand Musings and especially when doing research for posts. Reading about others experiences in Thailand, seeing the pictures of the Bangkok skyline, the beaches and the Thai countryside all bring me a feeling of yearning and nostalgia. It’s definitely one of the downsides to focusing on Thailand while still living in the States.
It seems strange to me sometimes that a country which is not my homeland can evoke such strong feelings of homesickness. Sometimes I think that I desire our return to Thailand even more than Golf and her whole family is there. It’s simply that I feel at home, at ease and at peace when I’m in Thailand, even in the center of Bangkok which has to be one of the most chaotic cities on the planet. I couldn’t be happier than to be sitting by the side of the road on a rickety plastic stool indulging in khao man gai, moo grob or spicy anything (especially seafood).
I literally think of being back in Thailand each and every day and have for several years. Hence my passion and love for all things Thai (some would say obsession, but it’s a healthy obsession).
Am I strange or even crazy for feeling and thinking this way?
If you’ve been following along here at Thailand Musings you know that we have our plans set to finally head back to Thailand in less than 2 years. One of my readers cautioned me not to fall into the trap of so many and simply get stuck here in the U.S., never taking action and following my dream. I honestly don’t think that’s going to be a problem for me and would be surprised if I last the 2 years. So many days I have to almost force myself not to just book the tickets and go. Anyone want to put their bets in for how much earlier than Nov 2011 it will be when we leave 
?
Sorry for the melancholy and depressing tone of this post, just had to get some of that off my chest. Please feel free to leave your encouraging comments below. I promise the next post will be more upbeat.
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Steve, from the heart ,definitely. Nothing wrong with that. I think having now lived here for two years I would be the same if I was suddenly transplanted back to the UK.
I do miss things like the theatre, English soccer (actually going to the match) and believe it or not a frosty morning with blue sky and a long hike planned!
Not being one to wish time away(not at my age anyway) I do hope time passes quickly for you.
Thanks Mike I really appreciate that. I’m pretty sure you’re right. I have reverse culture shock after just 3-4 weeks in Thailand so I’m sure there are loads of things I would miss. The grass is always greener and all that.
I won’t miss the theatre, and I hope to find somewhere to watch American football and basketball once I make the move, but I can probably do without. Being in the midst of frosty mornings right now I find it very hard to believe I will miss them, but hey anything is possible. I can always make the trip to Loei if I really miss the cold frosty mornings so much
Even at my age I am smart enough not to wish time away (we have a limited supply after all), but I hope it goes quick too. Care to make a bet on whether or not we actually stay here for 2 more years? Financially it would be good (5 years would be better), but for the heart and soul I think the sooner it comes the better.
Steve I had to pinch myself to realize I hadn’t written this post. I wouldn’t say I ever get depressed or down about having to live in the UK and not Thailand, more frustrated. My own clock has been set and timed to go off about four and a half years from now even though I could make a go of it at the moment. If I took the flight now I fear that perhaps in five years time I would return to the UK penniless and I don’t ever want to sample that feeling.
The mountains of Loei, I am planning a trip there for a few days between Christmas and New Year. I say planning but in truth Wilai wants to go for what is becoming our annual trip to the Loei Flower Festival. I’m quite looking forward to it, what a beautiful region of Thailand Loei is.
Yes, depressed isn’t really accurate. I mean I’m still able to function, laugh and have a good time, not walking around in a gray funk all day. Frustrated and maybe dissatisfied would be good descriptions I guess.
Like you I could likely make the jump now, but with the same fear of returning to the U.S. in 5 years penniless. That’s why I’ll take the next two years to set things up and hopefully have a much more comfortable life in Thailand once Golf and I make the move.
I’ve heard how beautiful the flower festival in Loei is and in fact Golf has suggested we go there sometime as well. Maybe we will meet up in a few years in Loei
In any case enjoy the trip and have a great holiday season!
Steve, We all have the same affliction. I miss Thailand greatly at the moment but I know I will be back soon enough and Like you I will be heading there for good in the next year or so.
The way America is heading there might not be much left here in the next 2 years.
Nice post. Don’t worry as these feelings when your dream is within reach and yet doesn’t seem to come fast enough are normal. Two years is really not that long especially when you rationalise, as you have done, how you are going to finance your dream. Your feelings of homesickness for Thailand are understandable and normal – I too feel the same way for Malaysia and friendships there as I do for the freedom of visiting and staying in some of the places I have sailed through. You are probably experiencing an alienation from the ‘normal’ life you are now living in the States.
I have dealt with quite a lot of successful people and have pursued my own dreams as well. One of the things I have learned is that successful people (who reach and actualise their dream) have a firm picture in their mind of their eventual goal and not some vague undefined ambition. “Leap and the net will open” may work for a fortunate few but there are a lot of bums on the beach as well. You have laid out clearly what you need to do to arrive at where you wish to end up.
When you have feelings of frustration that it seems so far away and you have so much yet to do such as debt reduction and building of a capital base, you should stop, look back and assess what you have already achieved in working towards your goal. Then the road ahead will not seem so long. We tend to minimalise what we have done and focus on the yet to do.
You will succeed and get there because you have such a burning desire, you have told so many people and it is a realistic and viable thing to do for you and your wife. Life there may turn out not quite as you expect, but you can change direction a little or a lot. Few things are that final and you are a long time looking at the (coffin) lid.
You must have read this quote already:
“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.”
Thomas E. Lawrence (Lawrence of Arabia).
I had the same experience the first time I went to Thailand! I felt so at home! It did not matter where I was, I felt a calmness in the middle of chaos! I often tell tell that Bangkok is a crazy city on the surface, but when you go to a Temple even at an intersection you find calm! Same feeling when you eat at one of the food carts with little tables! Looks busy but you soon shut out the world!
I think part of the calm is the ” Mai Penh Rai” attitude of the people! Just go with the flow! Its even more present in the countryside! I guess too its what you make of a situation too!
I was already living there in 2006 when I had to come back to the US to deal with family stuff! I was so depressed! I was lost in a country that I grew up in! I was a mess here! I have been back to Thailand multiple times since and count the days until I return for good in late Spring!
We have our condo in a 99% Thai building and that is the way I like it! BTS is close by!
So I echo your feelings about missing Thailand! I miss my friends there and Vee’s family! At least VEE is here for 3 months and the Thai food at home keeps the engine running!
You and Golf have a great Holiday Season!
Hey Steve…….you think you’ve got it bad? I’m missing Thailand so bad it hurts and I’ve never even been there!!! Over the last six months or so I have immersed myself in all things Thai and have become so familiar with the country and her people that it is starting to feel more like home to me than the U.S. I don’t know if this will change when I arrive there in January, but I seriously doubt it. More than likely from the sound of your experience it will only intensify my feelings. Thank you for your blogs…the good, bad and the ugly, they are golden to me.
Thanks for the encouraging words. It’s nice to know there are people out there watching out for me
I know that 2 years really isn’t that long and you are likely correct is saying that I have somewhat alienated myself from normal life here in the States. In some respects I do feel as if I am “on hold” so to speak and that makes many things seem like just going through the motions and biding time.
Love the Lawrence of Arabia quote. I have another here on my desk at work: “The thought that leads to no action is not thought – it is dreaming” –Chinese proverb
I have no idea what will happen to America over the next few years, but I hope it isn’t so bad that the US dollar is irreparably damaged. That would definitely create some holes in my plan.
Thailand and issan in general really stuck a cord with me i sometimes wish i was Thai to get around the constant visa hassle of Asia
expat life in Thailand is a dream for most of us but you need something to hold onto
regards john thai expat info
Thailand is a nice place to spend time. I have been to Thailand last year for my vacations and I really loved the place. Their language and culture is unique from other countries and I liked it a lot.
I am learning the sweet spoken Thai language now.
to Steve” missing Thailand’
i read your musings, and i can tell you i feel 100%the same.
even about sitting on the ricketty plastic chair etc….
melancholy…deppressing… maybe, but thats how i feel too.
one wonders why we feel that way about a country.
its all the little things that you experience while there.
i think about living there one day, but still not sure i can.
hopefully i will….
what you say about feeling at home and not stressed , same
for me also.
any way, i was surprised to read that someone feels the same as i do.
i thought it was just me, and was there something wrong with me
for feeling like that about thailand.
no one here friends and family [in Australia] can understand that.
‘ obsession ‘ yes , thats it…
My first trip to Thailand was in January of this year and since returning to Australia I have been lost going through a crisis. That country has got me entranced, the poeple, food, scenery, everything about Thailand, and especially Koh Samui is beautiful. I have been obsessed with thinking about the place, everyday I am pre occupied with my next trip which I alrewady booked for June this year. These are going to be the slowest 3 months of my life, as I cant get that place out of my thoughts…. Im glad Im obsessed with something so beautiful though. I will go back and stay 3 months this time and if I enjoy it enough I may consider moving there permanently.