well, as a thai was born in a poor family with “NO” any land and property left for us. I can say that on one in my family(or any of my friend which rang in the same social level) being a bar girl or bar boy, we know how to save from our earn, now we are comfortably stay in the upper middle class in thailand with in less than one generation.

I can tell you that “bargirl is not the only option” on the table for poor thai.

Most bargirl in thailand came from north and northeast region. And most if not all of them got land, farm and property left from their ancestor.
This people life style are all about … having fun, drinking, cheating, gamble and bad investment decision. Learn nothing from their own mistaken, keep doing the same mistake over and over until they loose everything. Some even sell their own kids for money.

If I have to go back and put my self in their position all over again?
I would work hard and save, I would never ever gamble. I won’t miss my working day with out a notice, I won’t try to cheat my boss just for little extra money. I will earn this trust by showing him how much I can do, not how much I can cheat from him. Etc whatever a decent man would do to build their own life.

But sorry those think the only selling their body is the only option for them would never thing this way.

Where to start? Like many of you I have been to Thailand , along with Vietnam, Cambodia, Indonesia, and Phillipines many times, but because Thailand is the land of the smiles, it is my favorite! Good or Bad ? Who is to say? When we come to Thailand, that is the game we play, if you find the rules overwhelming, than you, mister western white man should go home to your plump white wife. A couple of problems for working class women in Asia, their is limited education , limited job oportunities, limited health options, being a bar girl for many asian women is the only option, or should I say “young asian women”, because once they hit 35, for some , business is over, so now is the time to bank as much as they can, for their parents, their home , their children , children medical, children school, and of course their post bar girl business. Before you critisize anyone, please try to put yourself in their position, if you can? What would you do? really? wouldn’t you try to tag, 4 white boyfriends into sending you money every month? The whinning from some of you folks is absolutely deafening. The phrase having your cake and eating it , comes to mind. I know this is about how can I tell if I am dating a sex worker or not? because I am 60 years old, that is the only women I am going to be able to date, I know they will probably not be in my age range, but I have come to terms with that. Seriously , I know , I could meet non sex workers that are over 50 years of age, I just have not found any, that are out going, want to go on a hike, bike ride, be spontaneous? seems like most have lost their spirit, just want to shop, watch TV and visit family. Well back to the issue at hand, i have had 5 asian girlfriends over the past 4 years, some I send money to, some I don’t, sex was always great, they all took care of me, cleaned, cooked, but I have always felt something missing? I also must say that the plus side to dating a sex worker, is from that carreer , everything is an improvement ( even a 60 year old American) they seem to do much less posturing, more down to earth, really understand the value of a dollar, and generally have a great sense of humour. We are all so different it is hard to , or impossible to generalize what the qualities should be in a Thai date/ girlfriend/and bride. I met my current Thai sweetheart in a bar in Pattaya (Dec 4), she is 33 years old, use to work in a electronic factory, use to be married ( husband died, was married 9 years) not sure when she got into the sex business, I am guessing 3 years ago. Has no children, says she does not think she can have any. I flew her out to Singapore (her first visit to Singapore) where I work, for a week, in that week, she showed up at the airport wearing faded jeans, no hi-heels. no painted long fake nails, ( Which is exactly what i want! no hi-heels, Jeans , and no fake nails! how did she know? she didn’t) Many small brush strokes paint the picture, and we see what we want to see! I do not want someone to wait on me, never had, never will, its more on doing for each other, I need to work and I would expect my girlfriend/wife needs to work, I need to have something that brings joy to my heart ( music) and she would as well? unfortuantelly some of those attributes are not in line with asian/Thai ciulture. At any rate, unlike all previous girlfriends, she did not stay in the condo all day waiting for me, she traveled through out Singapore, figured out Singapore bus service, found the Thai grocery store, cooked the best Green curry, Tom Yam, etc, etc, etc. , We talked about long term, “US” which means no more bar business to me, also talked about possible jobs in Thailand? Yoga instructor, Thai cooking teacher, SO ANY OF YOU THAI FOLKS THAT KNOW OF ANY JOBS AVAILABLE IN PATTAYA, LET ME KNOW .
She is at her farm ( I guess the youngest daughter inherits the farm) for the next 2 weeks, helping her folks out, and overseeing sugar cane? something? Well this was fun for me, thanks for letting me get this off my chest. It seems like Thailand Musings is like a community? Don’t know how it will work out with my sweetheart? it is still very early. No scary indicators, phone calls, text messages? etc. I will keep my fingers crossed, and hope for the best, no one is bad, no one is good , we are all just doing the best that we are able to.

I’ve just finished my 1 month holyday in Phuket with a Thai lady, and I have many question.
If some guy with big knoledge about thai ladies can help me get some answers I’ll be most thankful.

My e-mail is tomer_gaon@walla.co.il and I really need to get answers I have so many questions….