Thai Dowry or Bride Price

Thai culture expects men to pay a dowry (sin sot in Thai) or bride price prior to the marriage as a symbol of love, respect, appreciation and gratitude to the wife’s parents for raising and caring for her. It is a long standing tradition and is widely accepted in Thailand.

It seems that it developed from the fact that Thailand has no social benefits and children take care of their parents. Traditionally, sons will pay for the upkeep of the parents and the girls will do work for them (house and farm). So, when a daughter leaves her parents they are “compensated” with the dowry since the daughter will now “work” for her husband.

It is also a sign of readiness to support the future wife. In the West we are taught that love is separate from money, but in other cultures money may represent a symbol of love. I know that this is very different from the way that we think of money and love in the West. Part of this connection is due to the way that Thai people value generosity. Generosity is highly valued and it is often hard for Thai people to understand if someone does not want to show generosity.

Of course today many Thai parents are more modern thinking and the dowry is often more important as a visible sign to the community of how successful the new son-in-law is. The concept of “face” comes into play here. I can’t say that I understand this concept completely and will have to say that it is fundamentally about the perception other people have about us and ones importance relative to others.

It is acceptable to “negotiate” the dowry as well. Usually this will be done by a close friend or family member of the groom, however in the case of a foreigner marrying a Thai girl it would be done by the future bride. The amount of the dowry can vary widely and is usually dependent on how successful (and rich) the groom is (or perceived to be). Keep in mind too that many times the parents will return the dowry to the couple immediately after the wedding as a gift.

In my case, my in-laws gave back the gold in the dowry as a gift as well as much of the cash. They kept the money that was received from our guests as gifts to pay for the wedding ceremony. I thought this was extremely fair and generous, especially since it wasn’t expected. Of course each situation is different and while it is definitely more common these days for the return of the dowry as a gift it still isn’t an automatic.

I think the bottom line is if you love your Thai girlfriend then I wouldn’t worry too much about the dowry. If it is something you can afford then it is really no big deal. I mean really, how can you compare money to love? Money you can make more of it anytime, right? But for love…it is so elusive and difficult to find and keep. Ask yourself…can I live without this woman…then ask the same question about the dowry. I think that will put things into perspective.

Popularity: 8% [?]

Sawasdee Kaa From Golf

Hi everyone,
this is Golf and today is the first day that I have a chance to share my thought
and to be Steve’s guest. I have to think about what I want to write and post to this website for a while because I’m not a good writer and also English is not my native language, but after I start and then I can’t stop (laugh).

I’m a tall girl from north-west of Thailand, Tak is a province where I was born. It’s not usual that Thai girl will be as tall as me but I’m proud of my height because I got this gene from my dad so I’m happy about it. I was studying at my hometown almost 10 years and then moved to Bangkok for study nursing degree. 4 more years for studied nursing and also worked like a nurse 2 years in Bangkok either Public and private hospital. I spent my sigle life for almost 25 years until I met Steve from internet, the guy who changed my life and then we decided to marry after we talked for 4 months and got a chance to meet each other. Who knows on that time the guy from cyber-world will change my life and comes to be a part of my life right now. What do you call “destiny”?

It’s not that easy at all because we both live in different country like a half world away and have to find many ways for keep in touch, oversea phone call and internet are the best way to help both of us to stay alive on that time. I have to say that, because can you imagine that when you love someone so much but can’t live with together yet…

About 8 months later Steve flew to Thailand again after spent the money for 2 trips to Thailand already, so all together 3 times in one year. But this trip much better than the other 2 because we both will have wedding ceremony in my hometown and then I will fly back to the US with him. We have a wonderful wedding in Tak with so many guest…my parents, my friends and alot of people from my village…sometime in the future I will show you for our Thai wedding photos.

We’re live together in the US since then and we both know how much we love each other and don’t want anything to make both of us far apart again. This’s how I started to stay here in the beginning…and a lot of things that I miss but I choose to do it because I’ve just wanted to stay with the guy who I love so much…I hope everyone enjoy with my real life story…

Popularity: 2% [?]

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