Over the years I’ve read a lot of posts, articles and stories about Thai bar girls and specifically about foreign men falling in love with Thai bar girls. And I would say that 95% of these stories end badly. For the other 5% the stories are often new so we don’t yet know what the end will be. I think we can all guess though.

Oftentimes the writer or poster has even read the warnings and been given specific additional warnings by the regulars on each forum. And yet they continue in their folly only to show up later a bit older and wiser for their experience. Each year you read about Americans or Europeans or Australians who commit suicide in places like Patong and Pattaya. Most of these stories revolve around a bar girl and the loss of considerable amounts of money. Since the victim is now dead we will never know the complete truth, but based on past tragedies we can guess.

What is it that drives men to such stupidity even in the face of overwhelming evidence that Thai bar girls should, in every case, be avoided as romantic interests, girlfriends and wives. Why are the men so blind and each one of thousands telling himself “this is different”. It’s not different, it never is and it never will be.

Ask yourself this…would you behave the same way in your home country? What I mean is would you shack up with a prostitute and give her the equivalent of several thousand dollars a month or more? Would you look the other way when you know she is out sleeping with other men or even keeping other boyfriends?

Maybe some of you would and you do it here in Thailand because you can’t afford to do the same thing in your home country. If that’s the case then you are asking for and deserve anything that comes your way. If that’s not you then wise up…take a look at your relationship and ask yourself these questions:

1. Is your gf/wife evasive about her phone calls? Does she get calls at odd hours? If you had a gf/wife in your home country and she was hiding phone calls from you wouldn’t you be suspicious.
2. Does she consistently need money to send home. Seems to be the same amount each month. This is not conclusive, but could indicate a bf/husband back in her hometown.
3. Tattoos and piercings outside of her ears (nose and lips especially) is an indication of a bar girl. “Good” Thai girls don’t do this, although this is changing for the younger generation, but mostly in Bangkok only.
4. Are her friends involved in prostitution. This is perhaps one of the biggest indicators as like types tend to gravitate together because as with anything else they have similar experiences to share.

Basically just practice some common sense. I know that many men lose their minds when they come to Thailand for the first time. They aren’t used to seeing so many beautiful girls and they certainly aren’t used to getting the attention of beautiful girls of any kind in their home countries. And even if they are used to getting the beautiful girls at home it never seemed so easy as in Thailand.

So, they think with their penis’ instead of their brains and they ignore things that would set off multiple alarms if they were back in their normal home surroundings. Somehow everything else around them is so different even surreal at times so their new relationship with the Thai bargirl, while strange is no stranger than anything else in their new lives. Instead of using their usual filters to determine what’s good and bad, right and wrong the brain sets up a new category called “This is Thailand” to measure against. Since all of the data is new many men make mistakes.

You can almost hear their brains crying out to them, “It isn’t supposed to be like this. Why is she always secretive or disappearing? Why does she talk with so many other men? Etc etc”. And the new “This is Thailand” section of their brains tells them “Calm down, I know what you’re used to, but This is Thailand it’s not like (the U.S. U.K. Australia or wherever you’re from). Everything is different here so this is probably normal”.

It’s not normal. Listen to your common sense when in Thailand just like you would at home. Things are different here, but not that different. Human nature is still human nature, even if the rules are a bit different. Take the advice of others who have come before you. Yes it is possible that Noi is different, but it is a very small chance. Do you want to gamble your savings, your heart and your sanity on it? Why not just take the time to meet a nice girl instead of a Thai bar girl and avoid all the heartache and expense.

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As I look through my logs it seems a lot of people are finding Thailand Musings looking for information about Thai girls, specifically bad Thai girls, katoeys and Thai bar girls. Since I am not one to judge I am going to take the time to give you a bit more of what you are looking for.

Keep in mind that there is already a good amount of information about good Thai girls in the section on Thai ladies, Thai dating and Thai marriage. As the husband of a good Thai girl I know that you could do much worse than getting a Thai girl as your wife. If you’re unfamiliar with Golf and myself take a look at About Golf and Steve for more information.

Now on to the ‘bad’ Thai girls…

While you can spend weeks in Thailand without ever seeing a prostitute there are some areas of the City of Angels that are designed with nothing more in mind than the sex tourist. There are also some other places that tend to draw Thai girls who are looking for involvement with a farang – Khao San Road immediately comes to mind. Today’s post will focus on the largest of the pay4play entertainment areas in Bangkok known as Nana Plaza.

Nana Entertainment Plaza (or NEP) began 25 years ago when several bars on Soi 14-Soi 16 were forced to close indefinitely because of construction on Sukhumvit Road. In mid 1982 the Rosemarys (1&2) , The Three Roses and The Rainbow Bar all moved into Nana plaza which was formerly your normal run of the Thai strip mall and parking area. Since that time it has grown to almost 40 bars packed into the central court area of Nana Plaza.

For almost 2 decades now Nana Plaza has been the center of naughty nightlife in Bangkok. It does see some competition from Soi Cowboy area bars, but Nana Plaza is the top of the heap when it comes to A-Go-Go bars, with stages and shows throughout the complex. Nana is famous for it’s Go-Go bars where you can find scads of scantily clothes Thai girls gyrating on stage and around shiny poles, all meant to excite and titillate the variety of visitors that come just for that purpose. Nana Plaza is also famous for the katoey or ladyboy bars in the area. Many are the man who hasn’t understood the difference between the lovely katoeys in Nana Plaza and been handed a large surprise later.

Nana Plaza does seem to fluctuate in popularity from year to year with the expatriates and sexpatriates visiting Thailand. One year you can go there and find the area packed to capacity and another year will see NEP almost empty. 2007 was a slow year and 2008 looks to be the same with many of the bars reporting their take to be down 20-30% from normal. Some of this is due to the strength of the Thai baht which is affecting all areas of tourism in Thailand. Other reasons mentioned are the declining upkeep of the clubs, the rising price of the girls and the poor attitude of many of the staff and girls. Another hit is coming in the form of a smoking ban in all restaurants and bars in Thailand which is supposed to take effect February 11^th, 2008. It will be interesting to see if this ban is actually enforced.

The first time visitor to Nana Plaza should be prepared for a surreal experience with the area looking like a neon lit circus midway in full swing and music pumping from the various bars surrounding Nana Plaza. Bible thumping missionaries, prostitutes, western sexpats, camera wielding Japanese tourists and curious tourist young and old fill the area making it a great place to sip a beer and watch the diversity of humanity in all its forms. No matter how far and wide you travel you are unlikely to see another place even remotely like it.

With dozens of bars, brightly flashing neon, hundreds of girls and all the sights, smells and sounds of Nana Plaza I have only scratched the surface of what Nana Plaza is. Go and see for yourself, you’ll be amazed and possibly shocked, but it will be different than any other experience of your life.

If you’ve been or plan to go to Nana Plaza I’d love to hear from you. Leave us some comments below specific to the bars you’ve been too or an update of the current party scene in Nana Plaza.

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To the best of my knowledge, my Thai girlfriend is employed in the finance/accounting area of a small 30-employee Bangkok business. I really have no reason to doubt her, and I naturally take her at her word. It has of course crossed my mind that bar-girls looking for a foreign marriage via an internet profile probably do not disclose their true occupational experience! I will not disrespect the world’s oldest and most pleasant profession, however I really don’t want to marry a former sex-worker. I enjoyed your tips about ladyboy detection, that was a real scream. Do you have any bar-girl detection techniques to share?

Answer: These are not entirely mine, I’ve gotten inspiration for some of them by reading and hearing other experiences. And by no means are these 100% spot on, just like everywhere in the world there are exceptions to rules, but they are good indicators, especially if your Thai girlfriend meets more than 2.

Keep in mind too that for many of the younger Thai urban girls these rules do not necessarily apply. Things are a bit different in Bangkok than they are out in rural Thailand or even in other Thai cities. The younger generation of Thai’s are moving away from traditional Thai values rapidly. What was true 5 or 10 years ago doesn’t necessarily apply any longer, especially when considering the university educated middle class or hi-so Thai’s.

Take these warnings as what they are, just warnings to keep your eyes open. Your Thai girl may be a good girl or she may be a bad girl, it’s often hard to tell these days as the lines have become a bit blurred.

- She is very familiar with one of the pay-for-play areas in Thailand. If she is able to give you an in depth tour of Patpong, Nana Plaza or Pattaya, especially the tourist bar scene then she most likely was or is a bargirl.

- She wears a lot of makeup. In Thailand the good girls don’t wear makeup very much. This too is changing, but even those that do wear make up wear very little, mostly just some cover-up to make them look whiter and MAYBE some blush. Heavy eyeliner or eyeshadow is definitely in the realm of bargirls. If your Thai girl is in the fashion industry this may differ, but in general Thai girls don’t wear much makeup.

- She isn’t shy about kissing, holding hands or touching in public. Good Thai girls do not kiss or touch in public. Again, this is slowly changing in Bangkok and if you’ve been together awhile she will be less reluctant, but the fact is that Thai’s do not generally show affection in public. If your Thai girlfriend regularly pats your ass in public she may have been a bargirl.

- She has had a baby, but the baby is not with her. A large percentage of girls that work in the pay-for-play industry have had children that they’ve left with their mothers, aunts or other relatives – so they can work unencumbered. This is generally more true for younger Thai girls. Older girls may have kids at home with mom because they were previously married and the Thai guy left them high and dry. This is a fairly common occurrence and one reason Thai women are starting to look to guys from the west for marriage. Western males are much more likely to stay in a monogamous relationship than Thai guys. Still, Thai women love their kids as much as anyone so if there are kids and they are not with the mom there is a reason and that reason might be because the mom is a bargirl.

- Your girl isn’t a virgin. This is a pretty good clue actually. In Thai society – a girl that is not a virgin gets no dowry and probably gets no decent husband either. A girl that loses her virginity had better marry the guy. If she does not – then she is spoiled goods and the Thai guys won’t marry her. They will almost NEVER marry a girl that has been married and has a child. They have a severe loss of face for this – to be raising someone else’s child. There are exceptions – but, I’d say this is a BIG CLUE.

- If all she seems to care about is money, especially your money, then she very well might be a bargirl. Good Thai girls will not talk about money, it’s not something they are typically obsessed with. The girls that are obsessed by it will do whatever they can to get more. How does your typical Thai with no university education or skills do to get more money? Even if they are not outright bargirls there are girls who will go out with guys to dinner or a movie, or maybe right back to their rooms simply to get an extra 1000 baht for a new cellphone or clothes or whatever it is she feels that she needs. As I’ve said before, a girl can live in Bangkok quite easily on 10,000 baht a month and many do. Those who aren’t happy living that lifestyle will do whatever they have to to get more money and often that includes the bargirl life.

- If she has friends in Pattaya, Patpong or Nana Plaza and she’s keeping in close contact with them – she is or was or may turn out to be a bargirl if the relationship with you doesn’t work.

- If she has tattoos then she may not necessarily be a bargirl, but she worked in the pay for play industry in some fashion. Maybe she was a masseuse or fishbowl girl, served drinks in a bar or even worked as a freelancer, but she was connected in some way with bargirls if she has a tattoo.

- If she has piercings beside her earrings – she was or is a bargirl. If she has her tongue pierced she was or is 100% without fail, a bargirl. If her nose or navel is pierced – not 100%, but north of 90% I’d say.

- If she goes to another place to talk on the cellphone then she is hiding something. You should be wondering what she has to hide from you. Most likely if she’s hiding something it is another man. Many of the bargirls in Thailand are married to a Thai guy or have many foreign boyfriends calling her. They get money from the boyfriends and they send their money to the Thai guys. It’s what they do for love!

- If her English is pretty good. Most Thai’s have bad English skills, even those who work in tourist areas or hotels. If your Thai girlfriend understands anything that has to do with money or a bar or restaurant situation she may be or was a bargirl. This is especially true if she makes jokes to you about “short time, love you long time, no money no honey…”. These are typical bar jokes and if she knows them she was very likely a bargirl in the past or present.

- She no longer takes care of you once you’re in a relationship with you. Bargirls will try very hard to hook you, but once you’re on the hook all she wants to do is watch TV, eat and gossip with her friends. She won’t want to cook, but will send out for food everyday. You would expect that she would view you as a godsend since you are making 5-10 times as much money as any Thai guy would and supporting her lavishly from a Thai standpoint. Instead she tries to minimize your impact on their lives. She will ask for more things all the time, going out to eat, better cell phone, bigger TV, cars, vacations, anything that others have that they want. They will never be satisfied with what they have and they will not give much back in the relationship. They are used to the bargirl lifestyle which is to sleep, eat, watch TV and make sure you can buy what everyone else have and then show off what you have.

- You’re married and she has a separate bank account. A bargirl will use this account for two purposes. First to transfer money out to a Thai boyfriend/husband and second to receive money from past customers. Some guys will continue to send money to bargirls for a very long time and of course the girls will continue to accept it as long as it’s being sent.

- If she is not reachable by phone sometimes – she is up to something. She may not be a bargirl, but something is seriously wrong with that picture. A cell phone is a Thai girls link to the world and everyone she knows and they can and will answer it even when riding 50 mph on the back of a motorcycle. If your Thai girlfriends frequently doesn’t answer her phone when you call there’s something going on she doesn’t want you to know about.

As I said, these aren’t hard and fast rules, but are more like warning signs. Keep your eyes open and use your common sense.

If you’re reading this and you’ve had some experience with Thai bargirls then maybe you can add some more to what I’ve written. Are there other warning signs I’ve missed? Leave a comment and let us know.

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