Jai Yen or Cool Heart

Jai yen literally means ‘cool heart‘. In a country that’s 95% Theravada Buddhist, jai yen is the preferred approach to any situation. If a cop pulls you over and sticks you for a bribe, jai yen dictates that you pay it to avoid an unpleasant scene. If someone cuts you off in traffic, you shrug your shoulders and suppress your natural urge to run the guy into a ditch. Jai yen. For Buddhists, an emotionally moderate, non-confrontational approach to life will bring its reward when you are reborn. Practice jai yen, and you may come back as a demi-god; get a little hot under the collar and you may find your new, single-celled self bobbing on the surface of a sewage treatment plant in Bang Saphan.

One of the defining qualities of Thai people is the fact that they rarely show strong emotion in public. You’ll find that it takes quite a lot to make a Thai lose his/her temper and if they do it is a very serious matter. If you’ve done something to make a Thai person lose their temper with you I suggest you immediately attempt to either diffuse the situation or remove yourself from the situation.

As westerners in Thailand we should strive to make ourselves jai yen at all times and never show a loss of temper in public. To a Thai losing your temper, or rather outwardly showing any display of anger, is considered crude and extremely bad manners. I can personally attest that some of the worst arguments Golf and I have had were not for things considered typical in the west, but rather came from situations where I lost my temper in public. By not remaining jai yen I caused myself loss of face and by extension she experienced loss of face as well.

This frame of mind is sometimes difficult for westerners because open displays of anger are viewed very differently in the west. Open confrontation is not only accepted, but can be considered desirable in some situations. In the west people who conceal their emotions are often considered underhanded or somehow not to be trusted. We base our readings of people on how they react in various situations. A cold and detached demeanor gives us nothing to “read” a person by and thus leads to a perception that the person has something to hide, distrust and a tendency to avoid that person.

As an example, the typical response of a westerner to poor service or poor performance would be to confront the offending person and look for some type of correction. The feeling would be that not only will we have the situation corrected for ourselves, but would hopefully prevent future occurrences of the same problem. Not so for a Thai person in the same situation. The likely Thai response to any mistake or perceived problem is not a confrontation, but rather to display jai yen and shrug off the problem or annoyance. A common response to problems in Thailand is mai bpen rai which literally means “not-exist-anything” or never mind, it doesn’t matter. This avoids any need to display anger or confrontation and maintains face for all involved.

So, when in Thailand do as the Thai’s and jai yen yen, calm down please. Take it easy and don’t let things that are beyond your control get you upset. You’ll be viewed in a much more positive light by the Thai’s and I’ll bet you’ll be happier too. After just a short time you’ll find that it is much less stressful to let things slide a bit and relax over the little things in your life. Rod tid mak (traffic very bad)…mai bpen rai. Appointment/meeting/dinner/train late….mai bpen rai. Focus on the things you have control over and let the rest take care of itself. You’ll be much more relaxed and happy in the long run.

Popularity: 71% [?]

Loy Krathong Day

“Wan Pen Deuan Sip Song
Naam Koh Nong Dtem Taling
Rao Tanglai Chai Ying
Sanook Ganjing Wan Loy Krathong
Loy Loy Krathong
Loy Loy Krathong,
Loy Krathong Gan Laew
Koh Chern Nong Kaew
Ook Ma Ram Wong
Ram Wong Wan Loy Krathong
Ram Wong Wan Loy Krathong
Boon Ja Song Hai Rao Sook Jai
Boon Ja Song Hai Rao Sook Jai…”

I still remember this song since I was a child because just like a popular song that Thai teacher will teach you when you’re young. And we will hear it more often when the Loy Krathong Day is coming. Loy Krathong Day is an important day for Thai people that they follow this old tradition from an ancient Sukhothai tradition. Normally it will start around the middle of November or so because it is the season that will have a lot of water and make the river up higher. Each year we will have Loy Krathong on the night of the full moon in the 12th lunar month. And this year Loy Krathong day will be on the 24th night of November.

Loy means “to float” and Krathong refers to “the things that made for floating” and originally they will make the Krathong from banana leaves and trunk. So all together Loy Krathong is the tradition of floating banana leaf vessel. The Krathong will also be decorated with flowers, candles, joss sticks and coins. At the present everything changed because people like to be more convenient, so they try to use something to replace Krathong from banana leaves like foam, synthetic material, bread etc. So you will see Krathong isn’t made from banana leaves for everyone. Just for a few that they still conserve Krathong from banana leaves.

The only thing that still didn’t change is the aim of people who come for Loy Krathong. Most of them have an expression of gratitude to the goddess of water (Phra Mae KongKa) because it is used by people for a lot of things. They also believe that Krathong carrys all their bad luck away. So usually they will cut their hair and nails and put them in Krathong before floating (just like clean yourself for start and prepare for the new thing coming into your life). Also they will make a wish before Loy Krathong, the most popular is about couples and lovers who will make a wish to stay together through their lifetime. And also some they will watch how far that Krathong can float on the river until it sinks because the length of time the light from the candle burns will signify longevity.

Kind of disappointing for me and Steve because this trip to Thailand we will back to the U.S. on that night so we won’t have much time to enjoy this celebration. But I already told him that at least we will have 2-3 hours for Loy Krathong together. And then we will make a wish for our Krathong…

Have you ever been to Thailand for Loy Krathong yet?

Maybe after we get back we will show you some pictures from Loy Krathong in Bangkok!

Popularity: 4% [?]

Thai Bargaining Skills or Shop Till They Drop (the price)

Shopping in Thailand is fun for westerners because of the low low prices of many of the goods and souveniers, but that is only the beginning of the fun. Not only can you expect fairly low prices, but Thai’s have a system of bargaining for goods that makes shopping an entertaining experience and great fun for everyone if done right.

At any of the markets and street stalls you can expect to pay anywhere from 10-50% less than the price that is initially quoted to you, but you have to hone your bargaining skills. Bargaining in Thailand is a science and an art form. A combination of market intelligence combined with humor and flattery in just the right proportions to secure the best price and to let everyone have a good time. Remember, the concept of “sanook” or fun is very important to Thai’s. Anytime you can add some humor and give the seller a bit of sanook you will do much better.

When bargaining it is important to remember some rules, this will ensure you get the best price and that a good time is had by all.

1. If the shop or stall has fixed prices then no bargaining. Only bargain at places where there are no posted prices.
2. You may want to shop around a bit to get an idea of the proper local price for an item before you seriously start to bargain.
3. Learn some Thai and start the conversation in Thai. This will make you seem more like an expat resident rather than a tourist and the seller will be less likely to inflate the price excessively. Memorize this phrase: “Sawadee krap/kaa, nee tao rai na krap/kaa?” (Hello, how much is this? Men will use krap and women will use kaa). Try to learn Thai numbers as well, you can learn more about Thai number from my post “Counting in Thai“
4. The initial price given to you will likely be twice as high as the actual selling price. If you look like a wealthy farang then the price could be as much as triple what the seller will actually accept. Decide ahead of time what you would be willing to pay and when the bargaining starts try to start about 20% lower than that price to give yourself some room. Don’t start insultingly low though either.
5. Use humor and flattery. Thai’s love to laugh and they love to be flattered. Making a joke or giving a compliment is an easy way to lower the price of almost any item.
6. Don’t lose your temper or get emotional about the bargaining. Thai’s do not like confrontation or excessive emotional displays and the only thing your outburst will do is make you seem rude and cause you to lose face with the Thai. Always be polite and smile when bargaining.
7. Remember that bargaining for Thai’s is both like a game and a way to interact socially. If you can make the bargaining more like a conversation and less like a business transaction you’ll do much better and everyone will be happier.
8. Don’t be afraid to walk away if the price seems too high. Many times this will prompt the seller to come after you saying “Ok ok” and agreeing to your price or very close to your price. On the other hand, don’t back out of a sale after a price has been agreed on. This is considered very bad form and quite rude. If you agree to a price then go through with the purchase.

Overall, just remember to keep a smile on your face and have fun. For most small items a difference of 50-100 baht only means a difference of $1-2 for you so don’t stress over it. 100 baht can go a long way for a Thai and you very likely won’t miss it. Bargaining should and can be a fun way to socialize with the Thai’s and to get a better understanding of Thai behavior. If you’re unsure how to start watch others and see how they bargain. Even though you aren’t Thai you can learn to bargain well, it just takes some practice. Golf has told me numerous times that I am a better bargainer than her and I have actually seen this first hand, so don’t think you can’t bargain well just because you’re a farang. Get out there and chat it up a bit and just have fun!

Popularity: 3% [?]

Say “I Love You” and Other Thai Love Phrases

When you meet a girl and you like her or think she’s pretty you want to be able to tell her right? It can be hard enough for some of us when the girl speaks the same language as us, but what can you do if you’ve just met the Thai girl of your dreams and don’t know how to tell her how you feel?

Here are a few phrases of love that will go a long way in letting your girl know how you feel and finding out how she feels. Don’t let the spoken language barrier block the language of the heart.

koon suay mak - You are very beautiful
koon na-ruk mak - You are very cute
koon tam hai pom mee kwarm sook - You make me happy
pom kit teung koon - I miss you
pom sot - I am single
koon chorp pom reu blao - Do you like me? (For yes the reply is “chorp” and for no the reply is “mai chorp”)
koon mee faen reu yung - Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend? (For yes the reply is “mee” and for no the reply is “mai mee”)
ben faen pom dai mai - Can you be my girlfriend? (For yes the reply is “dai” and for no the reply is “mai dai”)
pom kit wa pom long ruk koon - I think I have fallen in love with you
hua jai kong pom ben kong koon - My heart is yours
chan rak khoon - I love you
chan rak khoon maak leeuy - I love you so much
joop dai mai - Can I kiss you?
tee rak - sweetheart or darling
koon keu yot ruk kong pom - You are my sweetheart

That’s all for right now, I’ll post more Thai dating and love phrases later so you can speak of matters of the heart better with your Thai girlfriend. Let me know if there’s anything specific you would like to know.

Popularity: 36% [?]

Counting in Thai

No matter what language you are learning from Arabic to English to Thai it is vitaly important that you know how to counting. Numbers are so important for everyday life that this should be something you learn very early and practice until you make it completely natural so you can count without thinking about it.

Fortunately counting in Thai is really simple. It is based on 10’s and multiples of tens so once you learn how to count from 1-10 in Thai you can easily build upon that. Here are the number in Thai from 0 to 10:

0 - soon
1 - nung
2 - song
3 - sarm
4 - see
5 - haa
6 - hok
7 - djet
8 - bat
9 - gao
10 - sip

Counting above ten is really simple too, since in Thai we just add the numbers together so you would continue like this:

11 - sip et
12 - sip song
13 - sip sarm
14 - sip see
…
20 - yee sip
21 - yee sip et
22 - yee sip song
23 - yee sip sarm
…
30 - sarm sip
31 - sarm sip et
…
40 - see sip
50 - haa sip
60 - hok sip
70 - djet sip
80 - bat sip
90 - gao sip
100 - nung roy

Once you get to one hundred you can just add the lower number following so 100 is nung roy and 121 is nung roi, yee sip et and 550 would be haa roy, haa sip and 999 would be gao roy, gao sip, gao (literally nine hundred, ninety, nine just like in English).

Just start by practicing 0 to 10 anytime you can. I used to do it to count reps in the gym, but really you can count 0-10 for a lot of things in your everyday life. After a week or so it should be pretty natural and you can start to count larger numbers. Before long you’ll be able to put Thai numbers to anything.

Popularity: 76% [?]

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