Thai Engagement Ceremony

Question: Exactly how and when to get engaged is not clear to me. Is this simply between the man and woman, or is it customary for the bride’s parents to be involved?

Answer: It is definitely customary for the bride’s parents to be involved in the engagement, however a Thai engagement is much different from what we are used to in the west. Thai’s have a ceremony for the engagement which is called thong mun in Thai. This literally means “gold giving” and that is exactly what the ceremony is, the prospective groom gives gold to his fiancee.

Thai’s do not typically give diamond rings as a promise of engagement, but have historically given gold instead. Of course, almost every foreigner that I know how is engaged or married to a Thai girl has given her girl a diamond ring and the ladies really seem to like it. So, you may want to go with both.

The engagement ceremony is normally attended by friends and family and can be done in advance of the wedding ceremony or can even be done right before the marriage ceremony. When giving the gold it must be an even number of baht (a baht is the unit of measure for Thai gold. One baht = 1/2 troy ounce). The gold is usually in the form of necklace or bracelet.

I hope this was helpful and wish you all the best with your Thai girlfriend or fiancee.

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Thai New Year Songkran Festival or Water Festival

With the new year upon us here in the west it puts me in mind of the Thai New Year which is known as the Songkran Festival or Water Festival. Thailand has a different calendar than the Gregorian calendar we use in the West and the traditional Thai New Year and Songkran festival falls on April 13th to the 15th.

Historically Songkran was a time to visit and pay respect to elders. A symbolic small amount of scented water would be poured on the elders hands or shoulders as a cleaning practice. In recent times all but the most traditional of people have forgone this practice.

Among Thai’s Songkran is still a time to visit family and friends and many Thai’s will return to their hometown for this festival. In addition, it is considered to be a time for cleansing. The cleansing is thought to bring prosperity and good luck for the new year. People do this by throwing water on Buddha images and also on each other! As I’m sure you can imagine this is the best and most fun aspect of Songkran!

If you have the good fortune to be in Thailand during Songkran you’ll see that everyone gets into the action. Buckets, water bottles and squirt guns of all sizes are used to douse as many people as possible with water. Of course it is all in fun and if you gently tell someone “mai na khrap” they will generally leave you alone.

During the day you will see trucks roaming the streets full of people and water barrels literally drenching people as they drive by. I have been splashed by groups of children as I ride by on my motorbike, by men in suits, by old ladies and even by the girl behind the counter at the 7-11. You’re not safe anywhere, but it all in good fun and everyone laughs and has a great time!

Bangkok is typically quite deserted during Songkran as everyone has left to visit their homes. The biggest (and longest) celebration of Songkran is in the north in Chiang Mai where they have beautiful parades, a Miss Songkran pagent and Songkran has been known to go on for weeks if not the entire month of April. Celebrations in the northeast or Issan region or Thailand are also very lively as many of Bangkok’s citizens come from Issan originally.

While Songkran is observed in other parts of SE Asia such as Myanmar, Laos and Cambodia, nowhere has it gained the reputation and size like it has in Thailand. If you’re planning a trip to Thailand around March/April I highly recommend that you stay for Songkran Festival, I know you won’t regret it!

Has anyone else experienced Songkran Festival outside of Bangkok? I haven’t yet and I would love to hear from you what it was like so please leave a comment.

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How Well Can Thai’s Speak English?

I hope that English is not unusually difficult for a Thai person to learn, especially when motivated. Are there special courses available for this here in the US, or is it more efficient for the woman to attend English classes in Thailand?

Answer: Have you tried to learn any Thai yet? If you have you will know how difficult it is. English is just as hard for a Thai person to learn in my experience. The languages are so completely different that it is impossible to form a common frame of reference. Grammar, sentence structure and etymology for the languages are so far apart that there is no common reference like there would be for you and I learning a Romance language or for a Thai person learning an Asian language. It may be getting better for younger Thai’s as English is now taught from a young age at many of the Thai schools.

I am not aware of any special classes available here specifically for Thai’s, however you can find ESL classes at your local universities usually and there are other non-profit’s that do ESL tutoring. Check with your local United Way agency or Literacy Council in your area.

The best way is to have your girlfriend start taking classes now in Thailand, practice speaking as much as possible and then take more classes here in the U.S. Of course the best way to learn is by actual practice and while Golf’s English was already pretty good, she made the best progress once she started working here in the U.S. and interacting everyday with native English speakers.

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Income for Women in Thailand

This is the first in a series of posts answering questions that were posed to me by an American man who met a Thai girl on a Thai internet dating site. Hopefully these will be of help to others in the same or a similar situation.

Question: I asked about my Thai girlfriend’s work and learned that she works a 40 hour week. But I think she said her income was 10,000 Baht per month. That seems impossibly low to me. Can this be true?

Answer: Yes 10,000 Bt a month is a typical salary for many jobs in Bangkok. In fact, those without a college degree can expect less. For perspective, Golf is a Registered Nurse and was making 16,000 Bt (~US$500) a month at one of the better international hospitals. The nurses’ aides there were making 7000-8000 Bt a month I think. Seems impossible to you and I and it would be impossible for you and I, but Thai’s have different expectations. It is fine for them to spend 2000-3000 for a studio apartment with no air-con and eat from street vendors for most meals. Many women (and guys) in Thailand are living like this. Street vendor meals can be had for as little as 20-30 Bt. I know on 16,000 a month Golf still had money for a monthly trip to the beach or back north to her parents. Thailand can be REALLY cheap if you know what you’re doing. If you’re willing to sacrifice a bit even you and I could probably get by on 25,000 Bt a month (I wouldn’t really want to try now though – maybe when I was 23 y/o).

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Speaking of Thai Food

As I said in a previous post you’ll want to learn at least a small amount of Thai words for food unless you plan on eating Pad Thai and fried rice for your entire stay in Thailand. I like pad thai and fried rice as much as the next person, but not everyday for weeks.

Thai food words:

Rice = Kao

Shrimp = goong

Pork = moo

Chicken = gai

Beef = neua

Duck = bped

Watermelon = tangmo

Pineapple = subparod

Coconut = ma-prao

Orange = som

Lime = ma-now

Banana = gluoy

Speaking Thai in the restaurant:

Boiled Rice = Kao Tom

Thai Spicy Grilled Beef = Neua Naam Tok

Chicken with rice = khao mun khai

Omelette = kai jee-o

Fried Vegetables = pad pak

Tomato Chili with Pork = Naam Prik Oog

Chicken cook in Spicy Basil = Khapraew Gai

Papaya Spicy Salad = som tum

Fried Chicken Wings = Peek Gai tod

Chicken Fried with Cashew Nuts = kai phat met mamuang himmaphan

Spicy Lemongrass Soup with Shrimp = tom yum goong

Coconut Soup with Soybeans = Lon Dtao Jieow

Red Pork with rice = khao moo dang

Eat here = gin tee nee

Take away = glub baan

Clear the table please = geb jaan khrap/ka

Hopefully this selection of Thai words will make your stay in the Kingdom of Thailand a little more palatable. There are so many delicious foods to be eaten that you definitely want to experience as much as possible and by learning a little bit of the language you’ll be able to get away from the same same dishes that all the tourists to Thailand are eating.

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