Thailand Musings » Thai Culture

When And How To Wai Properly

Steve — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 00:05:25 +0000

Most of you who have been to Thailand or are planning trips to Thailand have heard about the Thai greeting called the “Wai”. In its most basic form the wai is a gesture of greeting, but did you know that it is used in Thai culture for much more than simply greeting others. In addition to greeting the wai is also used for the following reasons:

Giving Thanks
Good Bye
Apologizing
Praying to the Buddha
Begging

The wai first appeared in Thai culture during the Sukhotai Period (13th century AD). It is a part of the unique Thai honorific system and is used to convey a variety of emotions and modes of deference including politeness, respect, honor, gratitude, apology and friendship. In order to wai correctly it is important that the person waiing do so with their whole heart. You should feel your wai and be sincere in paying your respects physically, mentally and spiritually.

In its most simple form the wai is performed by placing your palms together at chest level with your elbows close to your body and your fingers pressed together. You then bow your head over your hands. The hands are often raised during the wai as you bow your head, however there are rules regarding where the hands should be raised to. Generally the higher the hands are raised the more respect that is being shown. It is also important to note that the hands are not jerked upwards, but rather are raised in a fluid and graceful movement. The hands should also point slightly inwards towards the body, not outward as in Christian prayer.

There are a number of rules surrounding the use of the wai. These include when to wai and the type of wai to use for various people. What many foreigners don’t seem to realize is that it is not necessary to wai to everyone. That’s right, there’s no need to wai the 7-11 clerk after paying for your bottle of water. Typically there’s no need to wai any service type individual and this includes waiters/waitresses, shop clerks and anyone else you pay to perform a service. If you feel that you MUST wai these people only do so if they wai you first and then make your wai very generic i.e. palms to the chest and no bowing of your head.

While Thai’s can recognize and use a vast number of types of wai’s depending on social status, power, age, and prestige there are 3 major groups of higher prestige people in Thai society. Initiating a wai to each of these groups is different.

Royal Family/Monks
When waiing someone in this group you bow your head and raise your hands until the index fingers or thumbs touch the forehead.

Parents/Teachers/Older Family Members
When waiing someone in this group you bow your head and raise your hands until the index fingers touch the nose.

Older acquaintances/Superiors at work
When waiing someone in this group you bow your head and raise your hands until the index fingers touch the mouth.

In all three cases you want to keep the elbows tight against your body. When returning a wai you can typically use the stranger’s wai which is a slight lowering of your head until your fingertips touch the point of your chin. This is the wai used when you don’t know the social status or age of the person you are waiing and is generally accepted as a happy compromise. This is also the most useful wai for us farang as typically we won’t know the social status of the Thai person.

Etiquette and social status determines who initiates the wai. Younger people will wai older people first and those who are lower in social status wai those of higher status first. Because you are a farang and outside the Thai social hierarchy it makes it difficult for many Thai’s to know where to place you. In fact, it is only recently that a Thai person would even consider waiing a farang. This wasn’t meant as an insult, but rather a way to avoid embarrassment since there was usually no way for either Thai or farang to know the social status of the other and insult could be given if the wrong wai were offered.

In some cases (especially business situations) a Thai will offer a handshake to you instead of a wai. Simply returning the handshake is completely acceptable. If they do offer a wai the polite thing to do is to respond in kind. And don’t worry too much about getting the wai right. You’re not Thai and no one expects you to be able to wai properly. The fact that you attempted to wai back is enough to make the person who initiated the wai happy.

In many western cultures a nod of the head is often acceptable as a response to a greeting and it is important to note here that in Thai society a wai can be acknowledged by a nod of the head or an upraised right hand, BUT this is only done by monks or royalty. It is called Rap Wai or acknowledging a wai. If you respond to a wai in this way it may be perceived as if you are impersonating a monk or royalty and there is a slight chance that you will cause offense. At the least it can certainly be seen as amusing to the person you Rap Wai.

In fact, outside Bangkok and the other tourist areas of Thailand you will likely generate loads of goodwill along with some amusement and possibly even amazement if you are able to wai. I guarantee that you will get many genuine smiles of appreciation at this small act of politeness.

What do you think, is it necessary for us as foreigners to know how to wai properly when in Thailand or is it just a “Thai” thing?

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Smiles in Thailand – The Land of Smiles

Steve — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 01:53:51 +0000

Thailand is most affectionately known by many as The Land of Smiles and for good reason. It seems as if no matter where you go and who you talk to you get smiles a plenty from the local Thai’s. While this makes some people think that Thai people are just happy the truth is that Thai’s often smile for very different reasons.

A smile MAY convey happiness, but it may also signify something completely different. Understanding the different reasons for Thai smiles can sometimes help you transverse this strange, unique and compelling culture.

If you’ve spent a good bit of time in Thailand or living around Thai’s you can usually see the difference in Thai smiles quite easily and will know that just because the Thai is smiling it does not mean that he or she is happy. While Thai’s do smile when they are happy, they also smile when they are feeling a variety of negative emotions such as embarrassment, regret, confusion and even anger.

Obviously this can create some confusion in the mind of the Westerner who is used to seeing smiles indicate only happiness. Understanding that Thai’s place a high value on avoiding conflict and maintaining social harmony and you’ll begin to understand the reason why Thai’s smile even in (what Westerners perceive as) negative situations.

There are quite a few common reasons people smile in Thailand even when they are not happy. These include the following:

I’m sorry for the mistake

The “I don’t understand what the heck you’re talking about” smile – Another very common misperceived smile in restaurants and shops around Thailand. While many Thai’s speak English their command of the language varies greatly and this is compounded by the range of English accents and the speed at which many native English speakers speak.

The “I don’t know what to say” smile – Related to the “I don’t understand what the heck you’re talking about” smile, sometimes the Thai may not have the words in English to respond to your request. Or in some cases cultural inhibitions restrict them from having an answer that will satisfy their own mores and the foreigner’s expectations.

The “Whatever you say” smile – This really shouldn’t be that difficult to see as I feel that we have the same type of smile in Western culture. Usually it occurs when there is a difference of opinion that you are unable or unwilling to argue about. In the case of the Thai it is usually because they want to avoid conflict and will smile and do what you ask, even if they feel it is the wrong course of action for the situation.

The “I’m so embarrassed I want to disappear” smile – This smile will often appear as the result of a foreigners insulting tirade following the “I’m sorry for the mistake” smile. Of course it only serves to further enrage the foreigner and if they somehow don’t realize what is happening and calm down can be followed by the…

The “I’m so mad I can break your neck” smile – This can be a very dangerous smile and you should take the time to understand when it is happening. Thai’s do have great self control, however even non-confrontational people can be pushed too far. If you are receiving this smile the best course of action is to leave and rapidly. When Thai’s finally break they can go into an uncontrollable rage and to compound matters every Thai within hearing distance will come to help their fellow country man or woman.

Thailand is a popular destination for many travelers looking for adventure, cultural exploration, great natural wonders, partying, great food and shopping. The combination of all these attributes along with reasonable prices, warm weather year round and friendly Thai people makes it understandable why many people come to Thailand and fall in love with the country.

By understanding a little bit of the Thai culture before coming to Thailand you will enjoy your visit much more and could very likely end up being like many other past visitors to Thailand – returning frequently or even moving to The Land of Smiles.

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Thai Words for Colors

Golf — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 02:46:15 +0000

Before I go over more about those 21 consonant sounds in Thai I would like to take a break by talking about learning how to say different colors in Thai.

In Thai language we have noun, adjective, adverb, and etc. just like in English, but when we’re talking about “Adjectives in English”, adjectives nearly always appear immediately before the noun or noun phrase that they modify which is opposite of the Adjective in Thai language.

For example
Color = see (สี)
White = khaao (ขาว)
There is will be “white color” = see khaao (สีขาว)

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Learning Thai Consonants

Golf — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 08:03:09 +0000

Hi everyone,
I’m so excited for my first Thai lesson post. Today I want to talk about Thai language from scratch so I picked “Thai consonants” to start with.

Like we all know that the English language contains 24 consonants, but in Thai language we have 44 consonants total. Hmm…just 20 more for you to remember hahaha…

I remember when I was a kid (5-6 years old) and I have to learn the 44 consonants. The teacher would have a song for all those consonants, a huge chart of 44 consonants and the pictures of anything at all that those consonants refer to.

So the kids would have it stuck in their memory to remember all those consonants up until they get old (something like that). Like in English we have “A” refer to an “Apple” and will have apple picture beside.

Alright let’s have a look…

ก this consonant call “gaaw gai” / ไก่ (gai) means chicken
ข this consonant call “khaaw khai” / ไข่ (khai) means egg
ฃ this consonant call “khaaw khuaat” / ขวด (khuaat) means bottle
ค this consonant call “khaaw khwaay”/ ควาย (khwaay) means water buffalo
ฅ this consonant call “khaaw khohn”/ ฅน (khohn) means person, human being
ฆ this consonant call “khaaw ra-khang”/ ระฆัง (ra- khaang) means a large bell
ง this consonant call “ngaaw nguu”/ งู (nguu) means snake
จ this consonant call “jaaw jaan”/ จาน (jaan) means plate, dish
ฉ this consonant call “chaaw ching”/ ฉิ่ง (ching) means small cymbal used in East and Southeast Asian music
ช this consonant call “chaaw chaang”/ ช้าง (chaang) means elephant
ซ this consonant call “saaw soh”/ โซ่ (soh) means chain
ฌ this consonant call “chaaw chuuhr”/ เฌอ (chuur) means small tree or bush
ญ this consonant call “yaaw ying”/ หญิง (ying) means woman, women
ฎ this consonant call “daaw cha-daa”/ ชฎา (cha-daa) means hat used in Thai classical dancing
ฏ this consonant call “dtaaw bpa-dtak”/ ปฏัก (bpa-dtak) means harpoon, spear, javelin
ฐ this consonant call “thaaw thaan” / ฐาน (thaan) means base, ground, platform
ฑ this consonant call “thaaw mohn thoh”/ มณโฑ (mohn thoh) means a character in the Ramanyana epic(the wife of a giant)
ฒ this consonant call “thaaw phuu thao” / ผู้เฒ่า (phuu thao) means elder, respected old and wise person
ณ this consonant call “naaw naehn” / เณร (naehn) means buddhist novice or monk [typically] below the age of twenty
ด this consonant call “daaw dek” / เด็ก (dek) means child
ต this consonant call “dtaaw dtao” / เต่า (dtao) means turtle
ถ this consonant call “thaaw thoong” / ถุง (thoong) means bag, pouch
ท this consonant call “thaaw tha-haan” / ทหาร (tha-haan) means soldier
ธ this consonant call “thaaw thohng” / ธง (thohng) means flag
น this consonant call “naaw nuu” / หนู (nuu) mouse, mice, rat
บ this consonant call “baaw bai maai” / ใบไม้ (bai maai) means leaf of the tree
ป this consonant call “bpaaw bplaa” / ปลา (bplaa) means fish
ผ this consonant call “phaaw pheung” / ผึ้ง (pheung) means bee
ฝ this consonant call “faaw faa” / ฝา (faa) means lid or cover of a pot or bowl, cap
พ this consonant call “phaaw phaan” / พาน (phaan) means tray on which items are offered to a Buddhist monk
ฟ this consonant call “faaw fun” / ฟัน (fun) means tooth
ภ this consonant call “phaaw sam phao” / สำเภา (sam phao) means [certain type of] small sailing vessel used in Asia and Southeast Asia, junk, argosy
ม this consonant call “maaw maa” / ม้า (maa) means horse
ย this consonant call “yaaw yak” / ยักษ์ (yak) means [a character from the Ramayana epic, a] giant [or] demon
ร this consonant call “raaw reuua” / เรือ (reuua) means boat, ship, barge, vessel
ล this consonant call “law ling” / ลิง (ling) means monkey
ว this consonant call “waaw waaen” / แหวน (waaen) mean ring (worn on the finger)
ศ this consonant call “saaw saa laa” / ศาลา (saa laa) means Thai-style pavilion; open-air gazebo
ษ this consonant call “saaw baaw reuu see” / ฤาษี (reuu see) means ascetic; meditating recluse or hermit
ส this consonant call “saaw seuua” / เสือ (seuua) means tiger
ห this consonant call “haaw heep” / หีบ (heep) means chest, wooden box, trunk
ฬ this consonant call “laaw joo laa” / จุฬา (joo laa) means the male kite
อ this consonant call “aaw aang” / อ่าง (aang) means bowl, bathtub, sink
ฮ this consonant call “haaw nohk huuk” / นกฮูก (nohk huuk) means oriental barn owl

Even though Thai language contains 44 consonants it has only 21 sounds because some of the consonants will have the sound exactly the same as some other consonants. And some of the consonants we rarely see or use anymore.

I will talk more about it in the next post…

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About Thai Language and Relationships

Golf — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 23:47:52 +0000

I’ve just gotten some really good news from one of my friends in Thailand. We had a long conversation on last Monday and I saw the pictures of her with a young cute guy. So next thing I found out was that she’s just gotten married with a guy from Switzerland, that was the cute young guy! She and I have known each other for years and years from Bangkok Nursing Home hospital (BNH), where we worked before.

The actual wedding ceremony will take place in Thailand next year. In the mean time, while they’re waiting they have to start the visa process for her to go to Switzerland.

I don’t want to think about it at all…I’ve been through this situation before myself and I know it hurts and is really painful when you have to stay away from your loved one. I feel really sorry and understand her feeling completely.

Internet and phone call are the most important way for them to use and keep their relationship going while they are apart. The choices are cut back to less choices if the Thai girl can not speak English clearly enough for the native speaker to understand. So that would make it really difficult for you to talk on the phone.

This problem happened to me long time ago, and I don’t remember when and how many times I need to ask my sweet husband to learn Thai again and again. It’s just because sometimes I feel that it’s unfair to be the one that learns English and talk to him. Ok, he said he tried to learn Thai language (but just for the common words and enough to understand when somebody tries to talk about him). He actually tried for me about couple days or so and then he just has no interest after all.

My idea is that the couples should learn to understand each other. That means they both need to learn each others language. I realized that I should do something about it. So what I am going to do is I will try to post Thai phrases on Thailandmusings.com 2-3 times a week. I don’t know that will help much at all but at least the lovers who have to suffer with the language barrier can use some of the phrases in my posts to communicate. I would be really happy if my posts will help them in their communication (at least some).

So please look forward on my posts on Thai Language coming soon…

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Introduction to Songkran

Steve — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 17:30:52 +0000

The word “Songkran” originally comes from the Sanskrit language and means “move into”, referring to the orbit of the sun moving into Aries. It marks the end of a year long cycle and is the beginning of the new solar year. Thus Songkran is the Thai New Year celebration.

The Songkran celebration is notably the Kingdom’s most fun filled (sanuk) festival and is celebrated nation wide each year. The holiday is 3 days long from April 13-15, but in many parts of Thailand it is celebrated for much of the month of April.

Most of the world recognizes Songkran as a fun filled time when people of all ages (but especially children and young adults) flock to the streets to shower each other with water. This refreshing solution to beating the April heat in Thailand ranges from harmless water pistols and splashing to bottles, buckets and water cannons delivering a soaking deluge of water to the unwary. However, many may not know that there is a deeper significance to Songkran.

Obviously as a New Year celebration Songkran is a time for new beginnings, and it is also considered to be a time for thanksgiving. It is a time for people to reflect on acts of thoughtfulness and kindness that they have experienced and to consider how these acts bring peace, happiness and well-being. It is also a time for reunions and most Thai’s return to their family homes to renew family ties.

Songkran embodies the traditional Thai cultural values and the underlying significance of Songkran is the process of purification and cleansing. This is a cleansing of all evils, ills and misfortunes that may have occurred and starting the New Year fresh with all the is good and pure. Water is symbolic of the cleaning process and signifies purity.

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Songkran is Coming Soon

Steve — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 04:06:00 +0000

I just finished the long conversation with my mom on the phone a few minutes ago. She said around where my hometown is (Tak province), it is so freaking hot! Yesterday it was 40 Celsius and today’s around 39 Celsius, hmm…just almost 40. Well I have to convert to Fahrenheit because now I’m not that used to Celsius system much. OMG…40 Celsius = 102.2 Fahrenheit.

Extremely hot in Thailand like this makes me think about the very important holiday for Thai people known as “Songkran”, that is coming soon. Songkran festival was the Thai New Year in the past before they moved into international day January 1st like anywhere else in the world. Songkran was specifically on the Thai calender on April 13th – 15th every year.

Most people they knew the symbol of this tradition just for splashing water on others. Not many of them know about the most significant activities is all about to do good things like offering food to the monks, releasing birds and fishes, donating, visiting and paying respects to elders, family members, friends and neighbors. It shows about spirit, love, and care between family members together.

So many residents who are living in Bangkok, will go back to their hometown to celebrate with their families. So that’s why Thai government has set on April 14th every year to be family day in Thailand. Let say it is just like Christmas Day for American people I think.

Water has been a representation for Songkran, against the hotness from the weather. The splashing of water originated as a way to pay respect, ask for blessing or apologize to an elderly person about an insult. This will be done by gently pouring a small amount of lustral water on the elderly hands or over a shoulder as a sign of respect we call “Rod Nam Dam Hua”. But for young people mostly will be splashing water, we call “Sard Nam” and this has further evolved into water fights and splashing water over people riding in vehicles.

Usually for me I wouldn’t go back to Tak on this season because it will be so frustrated situation with a thousand of people at the bus station or any of transportation service. I always told my parents I would be happy to go back anytime at all but not on Songkran. So anyone of you please keep in mind if you want to travel somewhere for Songkran, just need to go like a week or two weeks ahead and also make a reservation first. So I prefer to stay in Bkk because no need to worry about traffic at all. Well, except for some places in Bkk where they’re going to celebrate like Kao Sarn Rd., Silom Rd., and Sukhumvit area, traffic can be worse.

You can get more information about “Songkran” here at Songkran.net and then you will get some idea Songkran this year where in Thailand I want to go!

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Thai Love Phrases

Steve — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 22:21:30 +0000

Lots of you come to Thailand Musings looking for Thai love phrases and that’s not surprising. You want to be able to express yourself in your new Thai girlfriends native language and that’s a really good thing. It help you to understand the culture a little better and it gives her a really good feeling too. By learning some Thai language she knows that you are more committed and that you are interested in her culture.

When Golf and I first met and started chatting on Thai Love Links I struggled to find a good resource for Thai language. I didn’t need to become proficient, but I wanted to be able to express my feelings for her in a way I knew she would understand and I wanted her to know that I cared for her so much that I was willing to take the time to learn her language.

So, for those of you that want or need to speak the language of love in Thai here’s a small dictionary of Thai love phrases that are sure to impress and excite your new Thai girlfriend. I guarantee she will be amazed and impressed. If you’re having trouble with pronunciation you can ask her for help too which will help to make your relationship more concrete.

And if you really want to impress your new friend why not give our Thai translation service a try. For a very reasonable fee Golf and I will translate your email from English to Thai or your girls email from Thai to English. In addition to being affordable we also offer 24 hour turnaround and complete privacy.

Beginning Your Relationship

I am single. (pom yung sot)

You are very beautiful. (koon suay mak mak)

You are very cute. (koon na-ruk mak mak)

I like your smile. (pom chorp roi yim kong koon)

Can I see you tomorrow? (proong nee jer gun dai mai) – For yes the reply is “dai” and for no the reply is “mai dai”

Are you free tonight? (keun nee koon wang mai) – For yes the reply is “wang” and for no the reply is “mai wang”

Do you like me? (koon chorp pom reu blao) – For yes the reply is “chorp” and for no the reply is “mai chorp”

Can you go out with me? (bai tee-o gup pom dai mai) – For yes the reply is “dai” and for no the reply is “mai dai”

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? (koon mee faen reu yung) – For yes the reply is “me” and for no the reply is “yung mai mee”

What kind of men do you like? (koon chorp poo-chai bap nai)

Can you tell me your phone number please? (kor ber tor koon dai mai) – For yes the reply is “dai” and for no the reply is “mai dai”

Do you want to go and eat with me? (bai gin kao gub pom mai) – For yes the reply is “bai” and for no the reply is “mai bai”

Do you want to go to watch a movie? (bai doo nung gup pom mai) – For yes the reply is “bai” and for no the reply is “mai bai”

Your eyes are so beautiful. (duang dtar kong koon suay mak)

Can I hold your hand? (pom kor jub meu koon dai mai?)

Have a nice dream. (fun dee na)

Take care of yourself. (do lae dtua eng duay na)

Taking it to the Next Level

Love at first sight. (ruk raek pop)

I still remember the first moment we met. (pom yung jum krang-raek tee row pob gun dai)

I want you to be happy. (pom dtong gan hai koon mee kwarm sook)

You make me happy. (koon tam hai pom mee kwarm sook)

I miss you. (pom kit teung koon)

I miss you all the time. (pom kit-teung koon dta-lod way-la)

Can you be my girlfriend? (ben faen gub pom dai mai) – For yes the reply is “dai” and for no the reply is “mai dai”

You are my girlfriend. (koon ben fan kong pom)

You are my sweetheart. (koon keu yot -ruk kong pom)

You are the one I have been waiting for. (koon bpen kon dieow tee pom ror koi)

I am serious about you. (pom jing jai gup koon)

I think about you all night. (pom kit teung koon tung keun)

I want to meet you. (pom dtong-gan/yaak pop koon)

I want to hug you. (pom dtong-gan/yaak got koon)

Can I kiss you? (pom kor joop koon dai mai)

I want to be with you. (pom yaak yoo gup koon)

Do you miss me? (koon kit teung pom baang mai)

I won’t forget you. (pom ja mai leum koon)

When do you want me to come back? (koon dtong gan hai pom glup ma muea rai)

When You’re Ready to Marry Your Thai Girlfriend

I think I have fallen in love with you. (pom kit wa pom long ruk koon) / (pom kit wa pom dtok loom ruk koon)

My heart is yours. (hua jai kong pom ben kong koon)

You are my angel. (koon keu nung fa kong pom)

I love you. (pom ruk koon)

I will be faithful to you. (pom ja seu-sut dtor/gub koon)

I don’t want to let you go. (pom mai dtong-gan hai koon bai)

Can I meet your parents? (pom ja bai pob por gub mae kong koon dai mai) – For yes the reply is “dai” and for no the reply is “mai dai”

I want to see your face every day. (pom yaak hen na koon took wan)

I want to marry you. (pom dtong-gan dtang ngan gub koon)

I can’t live without you. (pom yoo mai dai ta mai mee koon)

If There’s Trouble

I hope I can see you again. (pom wang wa ja dai pob koon eek-krang)

Can you give me one more chance? (hai aow-gat pom eek-krang dai mai) – For yes the reply is “dai” and for no the reply is “mai dai”

I will never cheat on you (pom ja mai nork jai koon)

Your love is very important to me. (kwarm ruk kong koon sam kun dtor/sam-rap pom mak)

Please speak to me. (dai brot poot gup pom)

You hurt me so much. (koon tam pom jep-bpuat mak)

Please trust me. (brot chuea jai pom)

I want you to trust me. (pom dtong gan hai koon chuea jai pom)

I never lied to you. (pom mai koie gor hok koon)

Don’t leave me. (ya ting pom)

I will always be on your side. (pom ja yoo kiang-kang koon sa-mer)

Obviously this is not complete, but it will give you a great start and if possible get your Thai girlfriend to help you expand on your vocabulary. If you’re interested in more Thai language guides leave a comment telling me what you need to know and I’ll do my best to put together additional guides. And if you want to hear the phrases maybe I can get Golf to record them and we’ll post them up here. As always, I’m here to help in anyway, just leave a comment and ask.

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The Wai or Thai Greeting

Steve — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 23:59:56 +0000

In my last post I wrote that I think that Thai girls look so sexy when they wai, but many of you might ask what is a wai?

The wai (pronounced ‘why’) is the traditional Thai greeting. It is done by pressing your hands together in front of your chest or face and bowing slightly. The wai came to Thailand via the Hindu culture of India and is still widely practiced in Thailand today as both a greeting and a sign of respect.

In Thailand there are very strict rules of hierarchy governing the wai, who does the wai’ing and where to position your hands when you wai. To most foreigners there is little noticable difference, but if you train yourself you can see how Thai’s will wai differently to different people. In general here are the rules for wai’ing:

Inferiors wai superiors first.
Younger people wai older people first.
The higher your hands are placed the more respect you are giving the person you are wai’ing. In general the heels of your hands will be about heart level. If you are meeting an important person or an elder your hands would be placed higher and for monks the heels of your hands should be in front of your lips or even as high as your nose.
Do NOT wai street people or service people (ie the girl at the 7-11, hotel staff, bargirls).

As a foreigner you are not expected to know the rules for wai’ing and most business people will shake your hand. However, if someone wai’s you it is polite to wai back and you’ll want to know how to do so properly so you don’t look silly.

Thai’s will also wai when passing temples and spirit houses, even if they are driving! Many times I have been in the car when we pass a temple and see my father-in-law take his hands off the wheel to wai the temple no matter what the road conditions are. Just take it in stride and realize this is a sign of respect and very important to the Thai people.

I really love the wai. I think if westerners put more emphasis on the respect due to others we might have less problems. Plus like I said it looks really great when the girls do it. Maybe it is just the submissive look of the wai. I’m not sure, but I think it looks great. I’m often sorry to be here in the States because I don’t get the chance to see Golf wai at all.

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Your Thai Girlfriend and Buddhism

Steve — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 01:17:08 +0000

Question: I know virtually nothing about Buddhist teachings. I was raised in a Roman Catholic family, even attended Catholic schools for my first nine grades. However, Christianity never took root, so if anything I would consider myself an animist. Is there a steep learning curve for living with a Buddhist wife?

Answer: I didn’t experience any learning curve at all as Golf didn’t expect that I would become a Buddhist. I do of course have a healthy curiosity so I’ve learned a bit, but it hasn’t been an issue in our house at all. If Golf wants to pray she simply does so.

We have been to a nearby temple and I think that would be helpful if your girlfriend is very religious, but it seems to me that it’s not necessary. Unlike Christian’s Buddhists don’t have to go to temple every week or anything like that. They will go for big religious holidays or if they have something specific they want to pray for or to ask for the monks blessing.

I have even suggested we go to the temple or get a small spirit house and Golf has declined saying it’s not necessary. She has told me that she can pray anywhere at anytime and no special trappings are necessary.

So, unless your Thai girlfriend insists you don’t have to learn anything at all about Buddhism and it shouldn’t affect the relationship at all.

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