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Thailand Musings I first went to Thailand in 1997 and immediately fell in love with the country. Thailand at that time to me was mysterious and exotic, full of potentials and pitfalls. Fast forward to 2010 and here I am after 13 years and many trips to the LOS sharing, with the help of my Thai wife Golf, my experiences and knowledge with you here at Thailand Musings. Thailand may have lost some mystery for me, but it is still exotic and wonderful and I will always remember that first feeling when I stepped out into the Bangkok smog for the first time. I have yet to learn everything about Thailand and thankfully for all of us Golf is here to correct me when I err.

29 December 2007 ~ 0 Comments

Beware Multiple Simultaneous On-line Involvements with Thai Ladies

Here’s a warning from one of my readers who has just ventured into the waters of online dating with Thai women. I think he is right that this is elementary and easily avoidable. It is also especially important when chatting with Thai ladies as they can be EXTREMELY jealous. If you don’t believe me then take a look at this article from the Taipei Times which describes how Thailand has become the world center for penis re-attachment surgery because of Thai wives penchant for cutting it off in the face of infidelity.

“This sounds elementary and easily avoidable, but it is easy for a newbie to find himself in a sticky situation. My story is probably typical. Shortly after I met my Thai girlfriend, another woman contacted me from Loei. I answered her inquiry, and politely told her in the first few sentences that I was already talking with a woman in Bangkok, and that she should not regard me as a potential husband, although I would be happy to chat. So we began to exchange music files and photos of our regions. My friend in Loei wished me good luck with the lady in Bangkok.

About ten days later, my Thai girlfriend asked if I had talked with many other Thai women online. I explained that yes, I had contacted or been contacted by many women. She seemed alarmed by this, but I assured her that she was the only one I was seriously talking with now. She asked if I continue to talk with any of these women, and I told her of my penpal friend in Loei, and about my interest in Lao music. However, this did not seem to sit well with my Thai girlfriend. I told her that my friend in Loei had been clearly advised of my non-availability. I asked what should I do, and I believe her exact words were “you can do whatever you want to do”. Here in the USA, we men know that this phrase can sometimes be woman-speak for “stop immediately”. (Here in Thailand it means pretty much the same thing!)

The lady in Loei has been very friendly, and I do enjoy the chats. Recently I made clear to her that I enjoyed her company, and shortly thereafter I began to receive emails and chats now containing hearts, flowers, kisses, and some statements of love interest. That’s great, sure I appreciate the attention, yes she is a great woman, I enjoy her friendship, but a problem is brewing here.

So, at minimum, I will probably need to send the Thai lady in Loei a letter translated into Thai in order to clear this up with her. In reality, I may need to terminate the penpal relationship to avoid problems with either woman. This would be too bad, since I really enjoy the friendship. In truth, I would consider her a viable possibility if, for some reason, my current Thai girlfriend does not work out. But, since I’m honest and strictly monogamous, I certainly do not wish to appear otherwise, and above all I absolutely do not want to be the cause of hurt feelings through misunderstanding. So, as you can see, I have encountered a “slippery slope” here.”

Yes, it does look like you’ve encountered a “slippery slope”, but at least you’ve run into it early and you are respectful of your girlfriends feelings. It is so common for Thai men to have a mistress or leave their wives for another woman that Thai women are very jealous and suspicious of ANY other woman that shows interest in her man. Thai women know very well how the male brain works and how easy we are to seduce.

I had the same problem early in my relationship with Golf, however when the truth came out she was talking to other guys on Thai Love Links during our early chats as well so we figured “no harm no foul” and we were both even. Of course when you’re in the realm of internet dating it’s not unusual for people to hedge their bets at least initially.

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About the Author

Steve started Thailand Musings in 2006 after meeting and marrying Golf on the site Thai Love Links. The site was started as a way to share information about Thailand, it's people, culture and traditions and has grown substantially since that time. As a long time visitor to the Kingdom Steve hopes you enjoy his thoughts and observations about Thailand and it's culture. He can be contacted here.

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