I first went to Thailand in 1997 and immediately fell in love with the country. Thailand at that time to me was mysterious and exotic, full of potentials and pitfalls.
Fast forward to 2010 and here I am after 13 years and many trips to the LOS sharing, with the help of my 
A Thai Girl Responds to “Why Thai Girls Marry Foreigners”
Recently I received two comments in response to the post Why Do Thai Girls Marry Older Foreign Guys which I want to share with all of you. The fact that comments were left was not unusual (it is currently one of the most commented posts on Thailand Musings), but what was unusual was the source. These comments were left by a 37 year old Thai girl and she talks about why Thai girls get together with foreigners from HER perspective. I thought this was great and provides a unique perspective for us Westerners into the thinking of the Thai female.
In fact, I thought the comments were so insightful and useful I wanted to make sure they were read by the greatest number of TM visitors. So I sent an email to Pass (the comment author) and asked her permission to post these comments on their own. She graciously consented (thank you Pass!) and so here they are for your enjoyment and edification. I hope that all of you find them as intriguing and enlightening as I did.
Comment #1
I am not a member of Thailovelinks but I have use FF., at there I met both {good} guy and bad western guy. I met nice guy (American) who visit me in Thailand last year, he is so nice but because of many reason we decided to be a good friend even we like each other so much. This year I met a British who is working in Thailand almost 3 years we still have the relationship but I don’t think we will have a nice ending. Both of them are older than me over 20 years. Sure in internet date must have the bad guy who wants your money or etc. as you know I have bad experienced but I too tried to tell you here.
Even I am not yet success with the western guy but I never stop to look for because I don’t prefer with Thai guy with the same reason with the other Thai girl who are deny Thai guy. Too much girls even have no performance to take care their family, selfish and try to be a leader even have no performance, not open mind etc.
But I don’t mean the western guys are excellent I also see some so stupid and really bad guy too. But my style is not similar to Thai guy anymore. I married with Thai guy 3 years before divorce , what’s I have after left him , just a debt and it’s not belong to me but I have to pay because of my believe in him (so pooring myself) no more with Thai guy.
Right now I use the service of Matchmaker company in Thailand but still not yet success but at least I can meet the nice guy even just be friends and here is more safety.
Find for true love is hard but I still try to find, once I will meet the right one.
Pass
Comment #2
I write again after reading all the comments, I can separate 2 types of opinions:
1) Thinking Thai girls marry with older foreigner because money.
2) Not base on money.
I am Thai girl with 37 years, divorced from Thai guy. I have the western guy and I will tell you the fact.
Both of your opinions are true, in this world have 2 types, good and bad peoples. Same there are bad Thai girl and good girl.
Thai girl who marry with foreigner they have their reason:
1) Concern to money, can separate two type
1.1 A poor girl in some place of Thailand , they really want money for their living life, they will do everything that you want for marry you because they want your support. And love will come the second reason. (almost of them low education). This type of girl is not expect just for the foreigner guy they also expect Thai rich guy but it’s more difficult to get because of high class Thai guy just a small group and they deny such girl since first.
1.2 An education girl, not poor, like me I have master degree I have high income I can take care myself. But I too tired with Thai guy, I have a western guy but I never ask them for money. But I don’t prefer a poor guy because I don’t want to support them. I want they can take care himself and help me sometime in emergency only. But don’t forget it’s very difficult in everywhere if you have no money. (this type of girl wants the nice life not only expect in your money).
2) Bad experience with Thai guy then interest in foreigner. This group of girls had marry or Thai boyfriend but upset because of many reasons then try with the different. And you have to know Thailand is conservative culture and also selfish too. It’s very difficult to get accept from Thai guy for divorced Thai girl. Because of Thai guy prefer virgin girl. And also the social quite not accept divorced girl. That’s why better with foreigner.
3) Too high education, high qualification for Thai guy can accept. This opinion may be get lots bad comment back from Thai guy who can not accept for the high performance of girl. Ha ha ha, right now Thai girls have high education and good work, income more than Thai guy. And they don’t want to get husband likes just brother or subordinate. So if they can not get the good qualification guy better be alone. And also Thai guy are not prefer a girl who high performance or clever than them. So the best this type of girl interest in the older foreigner who has high position or owner their business.
Above just my opinion may be right or wrong but I see Thai society from Thai vision. Welcome your opinion just write for share.
Popularity: 17% [?]
Check out these similar posts:
- What Kind of Thai Girls Do Foreigners Fall in Love With?
- Why Do Thai Girls Marry Older Foreign Guys?
- Good Thai Girls vs Bad Thai Girls – How Can I Tell if She’s a Bargirl?
- Thai Bar Girls and Foreigners
- What Do Thai Girls Want
- Trusting Thai Girls
- Getting A Thai Girl as Your Girlfriend
Thanks, interesting comments..
About 3), I have heard this many times from Thai women and I believe it’s true. Thai society has quite a lot of unwritten rules for what is acceptable and individuality is not really encouraded. I think many smart Thai women discover that they can express themselves more freely without being judged, with a foreigner.
Hi all
Thanks Pass for your ideas on this subject. While I have been partners with my Thai girlfriend for a year and a half, and have been to Thailand many times, I have a lot to learn about Thai women and Thai culture. It is wonderful that so many Thai women pursue a high level of education, although it is difficult for them to all find professional jobs which match their education. My girlfriend has both a Degree in Business and a Law Degree and dearly wants to work as a lawyer. Still, she cannot apply for work as a lawyer in my home country of Australia, as her degrees are not recognised here. I entirely respect her ability and high qualifications and hope she can succeed in whatever she chooses to do.
I think Thai woman are among some of the most beautiful in the world, and the ones I have dates were very intelligent as well. One of the things I admire most about the Thai women I have met is that they are very family orientated. Having once been divorced by a western woman who decided she wanted a different man after 10 years of marriage and 2 children together. She even said she was treated wonderfully and had everything she wanted, except she decided she preferred black men now and had left me , taking a large amount of money without saying a word or having it awarded in a divorce.
‘Why did I expose all of this here, now? Because I know of a few men who married Thai women only to have them divorce them and leave with as much as they can take after the mandatory 2 years marriage is met that is required for them to continue to live in the United States and keep their greenCards. This scares me. These men said their women were wonderful and perfect, they thought, and they carried on a false front until the 2 year mark, and then they left.
I do not wish to marry to divorce again. I have plenty of money, yes, but that does not mean I want to give it away to someone who doesnt want to be with me.
Ive also heard stories of their Thai wife demanding they keep sending money back to her parents, siblings, cousins, friends, and more. One person I know said it was costing him over 5000 a month . If he didnt pay, his wife would treat him horribly and do nothing for him. He finally divorced her.
So as you can see, it is very hard to follow my heart because my brain tells me it could turn out very bad. I would love to marry a Thai woman, but with these types of stories its just so hard to move past friendship. Just how can one know to the best of their ability, that they are not marrying you for financial reasons and could care less about you or a life long relationship. Would a Thai woman sign a Prenup?
Dan,
I don’t think that there is anyway to be completely safe in a relationship if you’re not with the right woman. There will always be women looking for a free ride, no matter if you marry American, Thai or any other nationality for that matter. Honestly though I think many of the stories about Thai girls you read about are printed for sensationalism. Look around you at American women and tell me that they are any better. No one wants to marry just to be divorced later, but your chances with a Thai girl are much better and partially because of the one reason you’ve already mentioned…they are very family oriented. Contrast that with American women who in my opinion are quite selfish and looking out only for their own well being. The current divorce rate in America is between 40% and 50% depending on whose statistics are being reported! In contrast, the Thai divorce rate is somewhere between 10-12%. Huge difference!
Having been married myself with 2 children I can say that my children were negatively impacted by the divorce and if my ex-wife truly had their best interests at heart she would have done whatever was necessary to continue in the marriage at least until the children were grown. Like your ex-wife mine was also treated wonderfully, however her reason for ending the marriage was that she loved me, but wasn’t in love with me. I am intelligent enough to appreciate the difference, but no effort was made on her part to continue in the marriage once she made this decision.
Yes there are stories of guys sending thousands a month to their wives family back in Thailand, but whose fault is this? The guys agree and follow blindly along. I am not saying that you should never send money because I know that in Thai culture the youngest daughter is responsible for providing for the parents, but in reality it is often the most well off. Golf and I send money to her parents occasionally and also to her sister who is completing her masters degree. I would do the same thing if my wife was American, German or any nationality. This type of sharing is quite common for Thai’s and I am sure if we were struggling that Golf’s parents and sister would do everything they could to help us. Golf also works, so it is not my money that is being shared, it is our money.
In any relationship you can get burned by following your heart, that’s just the way it is. You can only be so careful and if you choose to pursue a relationship then trust is going to enter the equation. Only you can answer the question of why your girlfriend is with you. If you trust that it is for the right reasons then all should be fine.
Regarding the pre-nup, yes you can get one, yes they are legal in Thailand and whether or not she would sign depends on the girl
In any case, any pre-marriage assets are not supposed to be included in a divorce settlement according to Thai law.
I am planing to go to vacation to Thailand
but my question is where is the best place to go in order to find the high class girls in Thailand someone who really care about you and not your money ?
any advice?
It’s more like where not to go. Start by avoiding Nana Plaza, Soi Cowboy and Patpong in Bangkok. Avoid any of the tourist destinations such as Pattaya, Phuket and Samui. Outside the tourist areas is by far the best place to start, however you should know that most hi-so girls aren’t really interested in dating farang, especially those just in Thailand on vacation. Would you start up a relationship with someone who’s just visiting your city for 2 weeks?
That’s not to say that you can’t find someone to start a relationship with, but it definitely hurts your chances if you’re simply in Thailand on vacation.
Have you been to Thailand before and can you speak some of the language? That will definitely help since you’ll then be able to at least start a simple conversation with any girls you might meet.
I think there is a misconception which has been wildly blown out of proportion by the internet that Thai girls are only after foreign guys money. You know the old “walking ATM” theory. While this may apply in tourist areas, this simply isn’t true once your outside the tourist spots, or at least it’s no more true than girls anywhere else. Bottom line is yes they will be somewhat interested in your financial and career situation no mater what because they are looking for stability and someone that can provide for them. This is no different than women anywhere.
I hope this helps a bit. You can always try meeting someone online before you go. ThaiLoveLinks is good for this as are many of the social sites like Hi5 and Facebook.
So ive been speaking with this thailand girl, for what would seem a month, our birthdays are in the same month.She is only one year younger then me, her fav color is my fav color also. Sure i wonder about stuff, i know i stated my fav color first but she stated her birthday first.
I like how i havent heard here say any bad words and i asked about that. She stated it was rude for a lady to say those type of words. Well heck i love that a proper female, thats what i need.
UMm i dont think i have asked my ? yet, iam working to that. During our first few weeks of chatting i have asked has she ever left thailand and the answer was no, and stated she would never leave. Now time has gone by, and well we have set a date, if we are still getting along and feeling like we do, I would go to thailand.
Now umm iam 28, cant say that i have achived much in life, cought a few charges, no felony’s, no house, rent, got some bills ( doesnt everyone), pick out my suv recently, and dropped 23k (usd) haha uncle sam. Job depends, nuthin really offical with how the USA economy has been the last few years. umm so i wonder is it dumb of me for considering that i might have found a soul mate, so far away? dumb of me to consider moving to thailand and staying? dumb of me for considering getting my suv shipped ( erh i wonder cost) umm i hope someone reads all this and has some other idea that i havent thought of. Umm havent finshed college cause of my charges got me house aresst for a year and 7k out of my pocket, had to drop out of school.
Wonder what i would do over there, oh and the area is bangkok
just need some info here big step for someone so young no ?
Big step for anyone of any age man. You can see from some of my blog posts that I’ve been planning our move for over 3 years and still gonna wait 2 more years…even then, things could be tight depending. On the bright side I think 28 is a great age to head off to Thailand, if you know what you’re getting into. Even though many have made the leap blindly, it’s not what I would recommend.
It’s great that you’ve found someone who is your soul mate…I found the same thing and my life hasn’t been the same since. However that doesn’t stop the day to day and a relationship like this takes quite a bit of thought and planning to make it work. Same birthday, same favorite color…meh..that’s nothing to build a relationship on. It does seem like the two of you get along well though. Let me ask you this…have you ever been to Thailand? Ever even been out of the U.S.? I have to ask because if you haven’t you are gonna be in for a shock the first time you arrive in Bangkok.
The Thai government doesn’t allow foreigners to do much in the way of work in Thailand. Read the article I just wrote and that’s about it, unless you want to start your own business, which many have done successfully and many more have done spectacularly unsuccessfully. There’s a saying that floats around…don’t invest more in Thailand than you’re willing to lose. Well, it applies to starting a business anywhere really, but it bears repeating in the case of Thailand because for some reason people see the Kingdom as a paradise and somehow get the idea that nothing can fail there. It can and if you don’t know how to run a business properly it will. So, your choices will be teach English, find a job working an oil rig, or somehow build an online income.
I wouldn’t worry about the debt thing and run ins with the law (if it was a felony that would be different). The legal transgressions are in the past and you can pay off the debt. I’m in much the same boat…no house, rent, some bills, etc. Proper planning my friend will see the bills gone, will see my savings increase, will see my online income increase and will eventually see me in Thailand. You can do this too, but obviously it takes time to put everything in line properly and it also takes a great deal of focus. I have my focus because I am passionate about Thailand, have been since my first visit there in 1997.
My suggestion (and it’s just a suggestion) would be to take a trip to Thailand and meet this girl. Spend at least a few weeks with her and see how you get on. If you still feel the same about moving to Thailand after that then start to get a plan together. Pay off your debt. Put some savings together. Decide what you want to do to make money while living in Thailand. If it’s teaching then I strongly recommend going back to school and finishing your degree. If it’s oil rig work find out how to get contacts in that field. If it’s online work get started at that. Make a plan, don’t just jump ship. Thailand at 32 or even 34 or 35 is still better than no Thailand at all, if you really want to live there.
I forgot to mention…if you’ve never been to Thailand you have no idea about the temptations that await you regarding the girls. Well, maybe you have some idea, but truthfully whatever you read or see on the internet pales in comparison with the reality. Are you willing to forego all of that for this girl? Well, you’ll never know until you make the trip and see for yourself, huh?
One other thing…even though this girl says she’ll never leave Thailand that could change. My wife said the same thing. I married her anyway and headed off back to the States. Less than a week after getting back I received a tearful call from her asking how she could get her visa to come and live here. Reality makes people change what they thought they would do.
About the SUV…forget it. You know they drive on the left in Thailand and the steering wheel is on the right? Anyway, there’s no need for a car in Bangkok.
I’m a malaysian but not a muslim. Just looking at the rate of foreigners getting married to thais is much better then seeing the foreigners getting married to muslim girls in malaysia n changing their silly names to mohammed Peter or whatever. I’ve been travelling to Bangkok many times and have been living there since mid 2008. Seen a lot of thai girls with many elderly foreign men and i believe that many of them live in poverty. The best thing a foreign men can give to the local girls is love, care and support as most of them requires help, however do be prepared to help the entended family as well as this is one of their requirements if u happen to be a rich farang. If u do oblige in all their requirements then be there for them.
AS they say, there are many many pretty girls in their country, so why not?
Good luck to all.
Firstly I am 48 years old, never married. My life upto now has been orientated around my interests but I have reached the stage when I would like a female companion. Reaising that English ladies of my age are a dead loss,I am flying out to Thailand in 10 days, having approached one of the introduction agencies.
The lady I am most interested in is one year younger than me, i.e. 47. Now I know the ages here may seem unusual, but I have my reasons. What is paramount to me is not sex but companionship, and I think I am more likely to get that from someone my own age. Furthermore, as she is older, I expect she is more likely to have the old traits of caring and loyalty. Also, at her age, I expect she is less likely to divorce me because who else is she going to find.
Next month I shall be in Thailand for 3 weeks. If she is the right woman, then I shall go back again in April for another fortnight. Then, if she is happy, I will ask her to come to the UK for a few months, so that we can check each other out. Also she can experience my culture and climate, most specifically the cold. I will then require her to sign a pre-nup, drawn up by friends of mine who are both lawyers. If at any point, any of that is not agreed to by her, then no wedding. If need be, I am quite happy to return solely to my interests. My home is paid for, I have savings and a company pension and therefore safeguarding things as much as I can.
I would appreciate people’s thoughts and comments.
@Neil It sounds as if you’ve done your homework and have a plan. Maybe not the most romantic of ways to go about getting a wife, but you’re looking for companionship and someone whose company you’ll enjoy so I see nothing wrong with that. Choosing to search within your age range is a good idea too, there will be enough cultural differences to work out so why introduce age based differences as well if you don’t have to. Good luck and enjoy your visit to Thailand. I’d love to hear how it all pans out.
Thai girls “want” older western men only because they don’t have lot’s of energy left. They don’t run away and they don’t have energy to boom boom. That’s why it’s a good deal for some thai girls, they get the money and they need to do almost nothing for it. It’s like they are nurses who inherit their patience’s.
Thai girls don’t want “butterflies”, meaning young, active men. Older men need less care, they stay at home while thai girl can do what she wants and after a little while men dies and the girl gets the money.
One thai girl told me this is her goal. She also asked me to find old western man for her. Of course I did not.
She didn’t like older men, she just thought it as a business.
Although most of the thai girls don’t know that it’s not this easy in most of the cases.
I meant the girls who are not entirely respectable (not gogo bar girls though)
Mark, seem you had not so good experience with thai girl before
, not all of thai girl just look for money at least me. I am looking for love.
Hope you can meet a thai girl who has wonderful heart then you we be happyest guy.
Pass
I think that anyone who is ‘looking for someone to marry’ is going to get what they’re looking for. Someone to marry. You can’t choose your life partner by ticking off a list.
Where can I go to find a nice Thai wife? The whole thing is just a recipe for disaster!
It’s not like buying a car or a house but if you want to treat it like that then you’ll end up with a bought commodity not a partner.
And btw butterfly is not a young active man, a butterfly flies from one beautiful flower to the next beautiful flower, and the next, and the next. So it’s someone who can’t stay faithful to one woman. Unsurprising that it’s not a popular trait really.
I think if you’re treating a potential marriage like some kind of campaign to be planned out, strategised and completed in stages then you’re very unlikely to find love, or happiness.
It’s hardly surprising that there are so many stories about ‘all she wanted was my money’ when all you wanted was all your boxes ticked!
@Bifftastic – The whole thing is most certainly not a recipe for disaster and I think you’ll find that the Western world’s idea of romantic love is nothing more than a made up fairy tale meant to sell books, greeting cards and now movies. Throughout history many (most?) marriages were made not for love, but for such things as security, both physical and economic, status and fidelity. This is true not just in Asia, but throughout the world. Genetically men are programed to spread their DNA (butterflies) and women are programmed to protect their offspring. Not a very popular idea in our politically correct liberalized society I know, but do some research and you might find that it’s true, as much as Western society tries to say differently.
Oh and aren’t such U.S. based sites like Chemistry.com and Match.com nothing more than match making services where you tick off a list to narrow down your potential mates?
hi-please can anyone give me some advise,.
my name is david,.i live uk and work self employed as window cleaner,. i had 2 seriously bad relationships with uk girls in my life,.so i decided no more uk women in my love life,.so i looked at thai girls as i love the country and culture etc,.so i met ngam on thai love links,.i went see her then later she came to uk on travel visa,.she stayed with me for 4 week dec/jan 2010,. she is comming again in may 2010 just before her multi entry visa ends,. we get on great and we love each other,.ngam is nurse and works so hard,.we would like to marry soon, we are sort of engaged,. well i bought her a ring anyway,.i did this when she was with me jan 2010,. i only have 1 main worry,-that is- how can i protect my assets,.ie my house,.i have assets inc house of about 150k,. but as i undestand ,if we marry then she left me and divorced later in life,she is auto entitled to half of all i own, she has nothing too her name,as she sends it to her parents to pay for their house,. i would love to marry a thai girl,.this thai girl,.but i worry about if she left me say in 1/2/ 3/4/ or 5 yrs etc,.how can i protect my assets,. she wants a thai budhist wedding and that sounds so romantic to me,.i really want do it,.maybe even have a child with her,she is 34,i am almost 50,. i belive thai law states a lady who marries a man can only leave the marriage with what she brought into it,.in my case thats nothing as she has nothing,.yet my assets although not a fortune its all i have,it took me all my life to get it,.but seems it can be taken by any lady ,thai or uk or anywhere ,is it true she would be entitled to half and make me sell my house if she did leave me??., i really want to be with her and marry her,. but the thought of loosing half everything i have makes me ill with worry,. how can i protect my assets,??.,
i know i should trust her etc,. if we marry i would never leave her,.ime in it till the end so to speak, but with my lifetime experience with uk ladies,well it aint good,.i would never marry a uk lady for this reason alone,.lets say they take us men to the cleaners after they leave us,.even then they still want more,.
i hate to think a lovely thai lady can do this,but after reading so much ime sure it does happen,.
any advise how to protect whats taken a life to earn??. thanks,-dave
Hello,
First of all, I want to tell all of you (“farang”) that not all of Thai girls/women marry foreigners for money. I know that Thai women images are not so good in foreigners’ eyes and opinions as there are many sources of information about Thai women marry foreigners or searching for “farang”, such as poor women or even prostitutes.
I recently graduated Master’s in the UK. I did not find or search for “farang”. I’m not going to say that I don’t like “farang”. I honestly prefer “farang” to Thai man because I think “most” of Thai men are Casanova and cheat on their gf very often. (I haven’t experienced this but I’ve heard so many things from my friends and other ppl and that I’ve been living in Thailand all my life and I know how they are ,except a few years recently I went to study abroad.). There are some good Thai men as well but the percentage is very low if compare to all of the Thai population. I’m not saying that all “farang” is good. Many of them are bad as well but “good farang” is more likely to be “a family man” and be faithful to his wife and there’s a better chance finding “good farang” than “good Than man”.
I’ve been raised from a good family and we have money or my parents wouldn’t be able to support me while I was in the UK. (around 70,000 pounds+ I spent there.) I met my bf by chance in the UK and we fell in love with each other. (not concerning about the money he has as he hasn’t got any saving money yet.) It’s a prove that I, as a Thai woman, didn’t want to marry foreigner because of money. We’ll get marry finally I’m sure about that. It’s just we’re searching for job opportunities for him to move to Thailand. His solely purpose moving here is he loves me and wants to spend his life with me (and I love him too
). (I was searching about this and I found this website.) I hate that most of ppl always make a stereotype of what they’ve been heard even though they haven’t seen or experienced by themselves yet, in this case is Thai women marry foreigners. Therefore, I think I have right to say something about it lol. “Not all of Thai women marry to foreigners for money.” There are around 70 million Thai population in Thailand and more than half are female so it’s unfair to see us, Thai women in bad ways. There are good and bad people in every countries, just to remind you.
Best regards,
N
P.S. To Dave, according to Steve, “In any case, any pre-marriage assets are not supposed to be included in a divorce settlement according to Thai law.” So in this case, I’m not sure if foreigner can do it as well if you’re married in Thailand (but you must register your pre-marriage assets before you get married.). I think you can. You just have to search more information to make sure it is like this.
P.S. To Steve, I really like how you see things in Thailand and what you’ve been suggesting to others are good and smart. I wish I could find solutions about my case as well.
@N – Thank you for your comments and I’m glad that you like what I’ve been doing here. I think my wife would agree with you 100% in your opinions too. She’s often said many of the same things to me about Thai guys vs farang guys. I didn’t have any savings when we met either (in fact I had quite a bit of debt). We’re almost done with the debt now and like your bf I am looking for a way to move us back to Thailand and be able to maintain a decent standard of living. I think we have that pretty much figured out at this point and now is just a matter of increasing our savings before we go. Current plan is to move back in April 2011. We both want to spend our lives together and prefer the life in Thailand to the U.S. for various reasons. And we also want to raise our daughter in Thailand instead of the U.S. so that’s another reason. She will be just 11 months old if we make the move next April so wouldn’t even remember any of her life in the U.S. I think.
Best of luck to you and your bf getting your life set in Thailand. I know how difficult it can be, but also know that if that’s what you want you can accomplish it. It took Golf and I 4 years to get to this point where we can move back to Thailand which seemed long, but in the grand scheme of things really isn’t too long at all. Just keep working at it and eventually you can make it happen.
Hello Steve,
I’m glad that your wife has common opinions about many things as mine
. Actually, our situation; me and my bf, is likely the same as yours. Yours is even better than ours because you have a good plan for your family. We couldn’t really plan it like that as my bf is going to quit his job in the UK and move to Thailand permanently soon. We have very short time to find solutions about visa and things and to settle things down. It’s very difficult really but we believe we’ll make it 
. Thank you for your blessing 
. I wish your family all the best and I wish everything goes smooth when you move to Thailand.
Is it ok if I say “Congratulations that you have daughter and that you are a father now
”? I wish it’s not too late to say it. I think at the time you’re moving to Thailand, she will be fine 
.
Best wishes,
N
One more thing I want to add about Thai women marry foreigners. I said before that “not all” Thai women marry “farang” because of the money, it’s because of love. I want to say another side of my opinions as well because it’s a bit unfair just to let you know about the good part of it.
It’s true that there are quite a number of Thai women marry “farang” for the money. (As I said before that there are good and bad people in every countries.) I want to suggest and tell you how to divide these women from the good women. From what I’ve been observed, poor women or prostitutes are likely to marry “farang” for the money. Maybe they love you, yes maybe, but love your money more. Most of them, have a bit dark colour skin and when we (Thai people) see them walking with “farang”, It’s very easy for us to tell if the women are poor or prostitutes or not (concerning about other things as well, not only the skin colour) and that we know or assume about their purposes of having “farang” as their bf. I’m not saying that I make a stereotype. It’s just common sense for us to see how they are like because we are Thai people and we can divide which class they are in. I’m not trying to be rude or look down on them because I’m not that kind of person, I’m just saying the fact. I want to suggest you how to divide the good Thai women from women (with hidden purposes for money). For my opinions and I believe others as well, Thai women who are trying to catch “farang” for money will dress a bit naked (like prostitutes). They don’t have proper educations (Bachelor degree is very common for Thai people to have it at least, no matter from which university.), bad personalities and manners, asking for money often, never shared paying anything (for example, you act as gentlemen paying the food bills every time you ask a woman out but she’s never offered to pay it or even at least to share the bills.) You might find it strange to let a woman paying the food bill, but Thai culture is a bit different (such as giving gifts to friends (Birthday events), sharing the food bills, taxi fees, and other things, when go out with friends, etc. So in this case, if the woman is good enough and feel “Kreng Jai” เกรงใจ (feel uncomfortable to let a man paying the bills every time (who knows, maybe they’re a thousand times going out eating), at least, she should offer to pay half of it. About having dark colour skin, not all women who have dark skin colour are in the group I’m saying. There are good women having dark colour skin as well but not so many people because good women are likely to stay in the buildings, cars, most of the time. It’s not like many other countries that people like to have sun bathing to look like they have healthy skin. Here in Thailand, the sun is very strong and people are trying to have fair skin as possible. (It’s funny that Thai people who have a bit yellow skin colour are trying to have white skin colour, and “farang” white people like to have darker skin colour (tan). Most of the Thai people who get darker skin is that they went travel outside the city. But we can see if it’s because of traveling or it’s because of the hard work for the low salary job (which might have to face the sun light). That’s why I bring this topic of poor or prostitutes are more likely to have dark skin colour as well.
You can notice about this another way, when a woman wants to introduce you to her family, you can see how she’s been raised, how she lives her life, how’s her parents, etc. and then you will know if she’s after your money or not. or it’s that she loves you.
Another thing is please take time to see what kind of person the woman is. If you take enough time, and you’re so sure that the woman is not after your money and she’s a good person, then I suggest you go for her. I mean if you love her as well
.
Anyway, they are my opinions, I’m just trying to tell you to notice things so that you will be able to avoid falling into a trap of the women who care only for your money. If I say something wrong or I make someone feels angry of my opinions, I do apologise for that. I just believe that everyone has rights to speak out our opinions.
P.S. Good women in this case I mean, the women who love you because you are you, not your money, have good manners, nice, educated, etc.
P.S. Bad women in this case I mean, the women who are trying to catch you for the money.
I agree with both of their ideas!
I also have a foreign boyfriend. ^^
I can see many difference between Thai guys and foreign guys when i stayed in aboard.
First of all,I see many Foreign guys help their wives take care of the children.
How many times did you see Thai guys take care of children??
I feel good even i see. ^^
Moreover, i think they are good to take care of someone.
Thai guys will do good too! But just the first time.
Second, many Thai guys don’t have enough responsibility.
moreover, many Thai guys have mia noi[second wife].
Many guys have the second wife even they have 2-3 children.
I see many Thai guys go with another girls and have the second wife when they still live with the first wife. I mean they cheat thier wife!! Many guys give their money to the second wife but don’t pay for the first wife and children. So, the first wife spend her money for family but she can’t divorce. Many girls say that they don’t want to divorce cause they don’t want the children don’t have the father. My god…….
And you know, i don’t see much Thai guys will pay for their children if they get divorce with their wife. For example, my aunt has to take care of 3 children after her divorced.
This is just my opinion. I think there are both good and bad people in this world.
It’s not mean that they will be Thai or foreigners. Or what the nationality you have. Right??
Cause this is the world!
Lydia
PS: Not all girls will want to marry with foreigners because of money. My boyfriend is elder than me just a year. And he is the normal guy. ^^ I don’t want you think that just THAI GIRLS want money. Don’t forget that there are some GIRLS not just Thais want to marry with people who have money, right?? But you can choose yourself. So, i prefer to find someone who can understand me than a rich man
I’ve been with a French guy for 6 years (since I was a teenager) and we met through a friend from high school. He is only a year older than me but I have noticed more frequently over the years esp. when he dresses older (i.e. in a suit), we get the worst looks from both Thais and foreigners.
I think this is because there is a stigma among locals and foreigners alike that Thai girls and Farang guys are only with each other because: 1) the girl is after this money 2) the guy cannot get a girl in his respective country. Because of this, some outsiders even go as far as to say “I don’t want to be with Asian girls because it makes me look cheap and desperate”. This is not only applicable to outsiders either, even “proper thais” judge in this similar fashion “I don’t want to date foreigners because it makes me look desperate and cheap”. Ofcourse this opinion is not unfounded – for example, when I go out with my BF (and our friends have noticed this too), we get dirty looks and bad treatment (i.e. given no discounts often on the basis of “your bf has money right?”, assumption that the foreigner pays, talked down on & etc..)
I’ve never been one to worry about what others think of me, but when it affects the way I communicate and interact with people – it really does bother me. Since, I’ve made a conscious effort to dress “proper” and not exposing too much skin, avoid tanning even though I love the beach and surfing. I don’t understand why there is such a strong social prejudice against Thai women and Farang dating when I feel if it’s the other way around (Thai man dating Farang women) the men get applauded for it? Why must we change the way we are simply to stop people from thinking we are after our BF’s money?
I have read the many comments here and like to point out that Thai girls are very good at deceiving farangs. They will introduce you to “family” and friends. Show you a good time around Thailand. Tell you they love you and call you darling. And it is easy to feel they are being sincere, but so many are very good actresses and have their routine down pat as to avoid mistakes. And the good ones do not ask for money, they just have a good way of showing they cannot afford many of the things we take for granted and hope we get the hint and offer to buy a few things for them and then maybe later they will feel embarrassed to ask for some help with a bill like education or repair expense. After you think you found an honest lady and decide she may be the one you start to give her an allowance and after awhile she will try to compare her allowance with her friends who have farang BF or fiancees and if you decide to give her more then she may stay with you otherwise she’ll drop you like a hot potato. In the meantime she is already cruising the dating sites looking for her new conquests. I have first hand seen these girls at work not to mention fallen for one of them. I just chalk it to experience and glad I found out before it gor expensive for me. I did have a great time in Thailand and love the culture and people but I see now that farangs have a huge bullseye on their back and it would be extremely foolish if not difficult to fall in love with a Thai gal. Better to go there and just have Thai girlfriends and pay them for services rendered. If any Thai gals are reading this and dispute it then they are far and few of the good ones or lying like the rest of them. So tell me….how can anyone really be sure?
I had been two times in Thailand for holidays, both of them , I’d been trapped by thai girls ,because it was a pleasure to fall in the trap.
I never had any girlfriend in my country, I guess they dont like me,besides i’m too shy to ask them for a date , if finally i do ( maybe six times in all my life )i got rejected.
So when i go to Thailand and girls approach to me and do the hardest part i get trapped with them.
I know they are after my money,i know they are prostitutes,(I’m talking about the typical bar girl or the freelance who approach to you inside a disco and then you have to pay her for a “LT” )but they behave like lovely girlfriends , girlfriends who you pay to stay with you i know.
I even think to marry one of them,like many farangs do because i’m alone and i’ll allways be, unless i get one of these girls.
I dont feel able to approach girls and the only ones who do this for me are this kind of girls.
For me the question would be if these kind of girls use to change after they get a farang and forget their past life, or on the contrary they still trying to get from you as much money as they can (common sense tells me it’s more likely to be the second choice), has anyone experience in a case like this .
I know it could sound weird but when you like so much women and never get any because you can’t this option looks better than nothing, besides the way they behave it’s totally like a sweet girlfriend and they ask you for money in a very polite way ,like they dont have any choice for life (i believe sometimes could be true).
They are human beings like anyone else,and i dont blame them for what they do ,in places like Pattaya everybody knows what’s going on.
There is something I read above about skin colour and prostitution I dont agree.
I guess they use to have darker colour because they come from poor families who lived in the country and worked like farmers under the sun for centuries.If the skin colour were related to their present lifes it would be fairer, because they usually work at night and sleep during the day .
@dafb Go for a few Thai girls see if you can find someone that you can be comfortable with. It doesn’t matter if she is rich or poor, high class or low. A persons basic personality will show through no matter what they do for money. I have known bar-girls with hearts of gold who are genuinely seeking love and companionship. I have also known girls from the upper crust of Thai society who were horrible people and very much concerned about money and status.
I married a girl from a poor family, we have been together for nearly ten years now. We have lived in the US for six years. My wife does send money to her family. I am really glad that family is important to her. I have changed a lot and so has she, we have been lucky to influence each other greatly. After all of these years and all of the change in circumstance her basic personality has not changed. She is still a little bit shy, hard working, too quick to anger, and a real sweet girl. Same as she was when we first started dating.
You asked if a girl would change after marrying a farang and I think that the answer is no she will still be the same person. Choose wisely and make sure that she is what you want because although people can change, they rarely do. Understand the difference between how a girl makes money and her attitudes about money and you will be on the right track.
Greg that was an excellent response and great advice for anyone regarding their relationship with any girl from any country. I can second your experience and say that Golf is fundamentally the same girl that I met 5 years ago and that we have both grown together and influenced each other in very positive ways. Thanks for sharing that with us.