Jai Yen or Cool Heart

Jai yen literally means ‘cool heart‘. In a country that’s 95% Theravada Buddhist, jai yen is the preferred approach to any situation. If a cop pulls you over and sticks you for a bribe, jai yen dictates that you pay it to avoid an unpleasant scene. If someone cuts you off in traffic, you shrug your shoulders and suppress your natural urge to run the guy into a ditch. Jai yen. For Buddhists, an emotionally moderate, non-confrontational approach to life will bring its reward when you are reborn. Practice jai yen, and you may come back as a demi-god; get a little hot under the collar and you may find your new, single-celled self bobbing on the surface of a sewage treatment plant in Bang Saphan.

One of the defining qualities of Thai people is the fact that they rarely show strong emotion in public. You’ll find that it takes quite a lot to make a Thai lose his/her temper and if they do it is a very serious matter. If you’ve done something to make a Thai person lose their temper with you I suggest you immediately attempt to either diffuse the situation or remove yourself from the situation.

As westerners in Thailand we should strive to make ourselves jai yen at all times and never show a loss of temper in public. To a Thai losing your temper, or rather outwardly showing any display of anger, is considered crude and extremely bad manners. I can personally attest that some of the worst arguments Golf and I have had were not for things considered typical in the west, but rather came from situations where I lost my temper in public. By not remaining jai yen I caused myself loss of face and by extension she experienced loss of face as well.

This frame of mind is sometimes difficult for westerners because open displays of anger are viewed very differently in the west. Open confrontation is not only accepted, but can be considered desirable in some situations. In the west people who conceal their emotions are often considered underhanded or somehow not to be trusted. We base our readings of people on how they react in various situations. A cold and detached demeanor gives us nothing to “read” a person by and thus leads to a perception that the person has something to hide, distrust and a tendency to avoid that person.

As an example, the typical response of a westerner to poor service or poor performance would be to confront the offending person and look for some type of correction. The feeling would be that not only will we have the situation corrected for ourselves, but would hopefully prevent future occurrences of the same problem. Not so for a Thai person in the same situation. The likely Thai response to any mistake or perceived problem is not a confrontation, but rather to display jai yen and shrug off the problem or annoyance. A common response to problems in Thailand is mai bpen rai which literally means “not-exist-anything” or never mind, it doesn’t matter. This avoids any need to display anger or confrontation and maintains face for all involved.

So, when in Thailand do as the Thai’s and jai yen yen, calm down please. Take it easy and don’t let things that are beyond your control get you upset. You’ll be viewed in a much more positive light by the Thai’s and I’ll bet you’ll be happier too. After just a short time you’ll find that it is much less stressful to let things slide a bit and relax over the little things in your life. Rod tid mak (traffic very bad)…mai bpen rai. Appointment/meeting/dinner/train late….mai bpen rai. Focus on the things you have control over and let the rest take care of itself. You’ll be much more relaxed and happy in the long run.

Popularity: 79% [?]

Thai Girls - What you should know!

Don’t believe what you hear about Thai girls from promiscuous Thailand sex tourists!

If you’ve done any searching on the internet about Thailand and especially Thai girls you’ve likely found tons of stories, many of them written by western men. These stories are their first hand accounts of Thailand and Thai girls in particular, but you should keep in mind that most of these stories are coming from a small minority of the men visiting Thailand in search of sex. The Thai girls they meet and talk about are mostly prostitutes and bargirls working in popular red light districts like Nana Plaza, Patpong and Soi Cowboy. These Thai girls are a minority of the Thai female population and should not in anyway be confused with everyday good Thai girls.

When you read these stories you’ll get the impression that all Thai girls are just after your money and that they all lie, but please don’t believe these tales of despair. Consider the source…these are tourists looking for nothing but cheap sex. Even so, Thai prostitutes are often much more honest and (at least on the surface) caring than their western or Latin American counterparts.

Good Thai girls from normal society make outstanding girlfriends and wives. Thai culture puts an emphasis on women caring for their men and on family so marrying a Thai girl is the best move you can make in my opinion. And while Thai girls are typically shy about physical contact in public this is completely not true in private. Thai’s do not have most of the sexual hang-ups and taboos that westerners have and they can be very uninhibited in private.

So how can you meet a nice Thai girls? Well, the obvious answer is to move to Thailand, learn some of the language and then simply talk to the girls you meet in your daily life just like you would in your own country. Many Thai girls are quite open to having a foreigner (farang) for a boyfriend or husband and you’ll find that you should have no problem whatsoever getting dates in this way.

If you don’t live in Thailand then I would like to suggest ThaiLoveLinks to you. Here you can meet many Thai girls who are interested in meeting foreigners for dating and marriage. I can personally recommend ThaiLoveLinks because I met my wife Golf through this site. Even though I travel to Thailand frequently, because I don’t live there full time it was much easier to meet someone through this site.

If you choose to use ThaiLoveLinks and you need any help communicating with a girl feel free to contact us. Golf would be happy to do translations for you and for the girl. And if you end up meeting someone and getting married I would love to hear about it.

Popularity: 16% [?]

Loy Krathong Day

“Wan Pen Deuan Sip Song
Naam Koh Nong Dtem Taling
Rao Tanglai Chai Ying
Sanook Ganjing Wan Loy Krathong
Loy Loy Krathong
Loy Loy Krathong,
Loy Krathong Gan Laew
Koh Chern Nong Kaew
Ook Ma Ram Wong
Ram Wong Wan Loy Krathong
Ram Wong Wan Loy Krathong
Boon Ja Song Hai Rao Sook Jai
Boon Ja Song Hai Rao Sook Jai…”

I still remember this song since I was a child because just like a popular song that Thai teacher will teach you when you’re young. And we will hear it more often when the Loy Krathong Day is coming. Loy Krathong Day is an important day for Thai people that they follow this old tradition from an ancient Sukhothai tradition. Normally it will start around the middle of November or so because it is the season that will have a lot of water and make the river up higher. Each year we will have Loy Krathong on the night of the full moon in the 12th lunar month. And this year Loy Krathong day will be on the 24th night of November.

Loy means “to float” and Krathong refers to “the things that made for floating” and originally they will make the Krathong from banana leaves and trunk. So all together Loy Krathong is the tradition of floating banana leaf vessel. The Krathong will also be decorated with flowers, candles, joss sticks and coins. At the present everything changed because people like to be more convenient, so they try to use something to replace Krathong from banana leaves like foam, synthetic material, bread etc. So you will see Krathong isn’t made from banana leaves for everyone. Just for a few that they still conserve Krathong from banana leaves.

The only thing that still didn’t change is the aim of people who come for Loy Krathong. Most of them have an expression of gratitude to the goddess of water (Phra Mae KongKa) because it is used by people for a lot of things. They also believe that Krathong carrys all their bad luck away. So usually they will cut their hair and nails and put them in Krathong before floating (just like clean yourself for start and prepare for the new thing coming into your life). Also they will make a wish before Loy Krathong, the most popular is about couples and lovers who will make a wish to stay together through their lifetime. And also some they will watch how far that Krathong can float on the river until it sinks because the length of time the light from the candle burns will signify longevity.

Kind of disappointing for me and Steve because this trip to Thailand we will back to the U.S. on that night so we won’t have much time to enjoy this celebration. But I already told him that at least we will have 2-3 hours for Loy Krathong together. And then we will make a wish for our Krathong…

Have you ever been to Thailand for Loy Krathong yet?

Maybe after we get back we will show you some pictures from Loy Krathong in Bangkok!

Popularity: 3% [?]

Bangkok Slowly Sinking

This story was recently released and paints a grim picture for those of us who love Bangkok. It seems that Bangkok is not so slowly sinking into the sea and could be underwater in just 15 years. Considering the speed with which previous infrastructure projects have been completed in Thailand don’t expect much of a reprieve. If you want proof just look at the huge BTS pylons outside of Don Muang. They were there when I first arrived in 1997 and they are still there today without any additions. Since Don Muang has been closed for international flights I have little hope that they will ever be finished. Let’s hope that saving Bangkok from the sea moves at a somewhat faster pace.

From Associated Press:

“During the monsoons at high tide, waves hurdle the breakwater of concrete pillars and the inner rock wall around the temple on a promontory in the Gulf of Thailand. Jutting above the water line just ahead are remnants of a village that has already slipped beneath the sea.

Experts say these waters, aided by sinking land, threaten to submerge Thailand’s sprawling capital of more than 10 million people within this century. Bangkok is one of 13 of the world’s largest 20 cities at risk of being swamped as sea levels rise in coming decades, according to warnings at the recent Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change held here.

“This is what the future will look like in many places around the world,” says Lisa Schipper, an American researcher on global warming, while visiting the temple. “Here is a living study in environmental change.”

The loss of Bangkok would destroy the country’s economic engine and a major hub for regional tourism.

“If the heart of Thailand is under water everything will stop,” says Smith Dharmasaroja, chair of the government’s Committee of National Disaster Warning Administration. “We don’t have time to move our capital in the next 15-20 years. We have to protect our heart now, and it’s almost too late.”

The arithmetic gives Bangkok little cause for optimism.

The still expanding megapolis rests about 3 1/2 to 5 feet above the nearby gulf, although some areas already lie below sea level. The gulf’s waters have been rising by about a tenth of an inch a year, about the same as the world average, says Anond Snidvongs, a leading scientist in the field.

But the city, built on clay rather than bedrock, has also been sinking at a far faster pace of up to 4 inches annually as its teeming population and factories pump some 2.5 million cubic tons of cheaply priced water, legally and illegally, out of its aquifers. This compacts the layers of clay and causes the land to sink.

Everyone - the government, scientists and environmental groups - agrees Bangkok is headed for trouble, but there is some debate about when. Anond, who heads the Southeast Asia START Regional Center, believes total submersion may not be imminent, but Smith disagrees.

“You notice that every highway, road and building which has no foundation pilings is sinking,” says Smith. “We feel that with the ground sinking and the sea water rising, Bangkok will be under sea water in the next 15 to 20 years - permanently.”

Once known as the “Venice of the East,” Bangkok was founded 225 years ago on a swampy floodplain along the Chao Phraya River. But beginning in the 1950s, on the advice of international development agencies, most of the canals were filled in to make roads and combat malaria. This fractured the natural drainage system that had helped control Bangkok’s annual monsoon season flooding.

“It’s the only city in the world where a car has collided with a boat,” says Smith, recalling a deluge where residents commuted by rickety boats down roads flanked by high-rises.

As head of Thailand’s meteorological department in 1998, Smith warned with little success that the country’s southwest coast could face a deadly tsunami. He was proven right.

He urges that work start now on a dike system of more than 60 miles - protective walls about 16 feet high, punctured by water gates and with roads on top, not unlike the dikes long used in low-lying Netherlands to ward off the sea. The dikes would run on both banks of the Chao Phraya River and then fork to the right and left at the mouth of the river.

Anond, an oceanographer who studied at the University of Hawaii, says other options must also be explored, including water diversion channels, more upcountry dams and the “monkey cheeks” idea of King Bhumibol Adulyadej. The king, among the first to alert Bangkokians about the yearly flooding, has suggested diverting off-flow from the surges into reservoirs, the “cheeks,” for later release into the gulf.

“There is no one single solution to respond to climate change,” says Anond, whose team is putting forward recommendations based on several scenarios. “We have to start doing something about this right now.”

As authorities ponder, communities like Khun Samut Chin, 12 miles from downtown Bangkok, are taking action.

The five monks at the temple and surrounding villagers are building the barriers from locally collected donations and planting mangrove trees to halt shoreline erosion.

The odds are against them. About half a mile of shoreline has already been lost over the past three decades, in large part due to the destruction of once vast mangrove forests. The abbot, Somnuk Attipanyo, says about a third of the village’s original population was forced to move.

The top of a broken concrete water storage tank protrudes from the muddy sea, which swirls around rows of electricity pylons and telephone polls now stuck offshore.

The monastery grounds are less than a tenth of their original size, and the waterlogged temple is regularly lashed by waves that have forced the monks to raise its original floor by more than three feet. Among a group of villagers attending morning prayers at the temple, 45-year-old shrimp farmer Rakiet Phinlaphak looks toward the watery horizon from the promontory and says, “I have seen the sea rising higher since I was a child.”

Popularity: 3% [?]

10 Clues That She is a Ladyboy or Katoey

Special thanks to Conan Stevens for providing the inspiration for this ladyboy article.

Have you heard the term katoey or ladyboy before? These creatures have been encountered by many first timers (and even some second and third timers) in Bangkok, Phuket and Pattaya, much to the chagrin of the unsuspecting mark. What is a katoey? It is quite simply a transsexual or transvestite and they are quite common in Thailand.

The thing is that many of the Thai ladyboys are actually quite beautiful and unless you know what to look for can be easy to miss, even if you are close up and personal with them. Of course copious amounts of alcohol doesn’t help matters, so here I’ve put together the top 10 ways to spot a ladyboy or katoey when you’re in Thailand. Avoid reading this list at your own peril.

1. Look at your new friends hands and feet. Thai girls typically are small and their hands and feet are very small and petite to match. If the girl has lumberjack hands or size 12 heels on there is a distinct possibility she is a he.

2. Look for an Adams apple. Girls don’t have them, not ever.

3. Too much makeup. Thai girls generally wear very little if any makeup. If the girl has a thick layer of foundation on and enough makeup for a Vegas dancer then she is probably a ladyboy.

4. Tall. Thai girls are generally short, 5′ 4″ or less. If the girl is near to 6′ tall then either she is a model or a katoey. If she’s flirting with you (a foreign tourist), then the odds are she is NOT a model (unless you look like Brad Pitt), you are very likely being targeted by a ladyboy.

5. She is more beautiful than you can believe. If the girl is tall and beautiful and is NOT a model then it’s a good bet she is a ladyboy. Katoeys work very hard to make themselves as beautiful as possible, even going to the length of having surgery done. Eyes, lips, breasts, and even the cut and tuck, though from all accounts most katoeys are cross dressers without the final surgery.

6. If she has facial hair she is a katoey. Don’t laugh, I’ve actually seen guys dancing with girls that have a 5 o’clock shadow. Thai girls are for the most part hairless, even on their arms and legs and certainly on their faces.

7. Thai girls are very feminine, quite likely some of the most feminine women on the planet. If your girl is muscular or has a hard athletic body there is a chance that she is a katoey. This can be sometimes confusing because Cambodian girls are typically more muscular than Thai’s, but they are also generally very short and dark skinned.

8. If the girl has a penis (not TOO hard to figure out is it) then she is a ladyboy. Many katoeys will go for a grope of your crotch shortly after meeting you and this is the perfect chance for you to return the favor. Sometimes it isn’t as easy to tell if there is a bulge there or not as some ladyboys will go as far as to tuck or even tape their privates up underneath their crotch.

9. If she won’t undress in front of you or wants to have sex in the dark all the time she may be a katoey. Thai girls are shy in public, but can be quite forward in private and most have very little shyness when it comes to sex. I’ve heard stories of guys who had no idea they were with a ladyboy until the next morning which is actually believable if the girl wants to suck you off all night or do it from behind or if you’re that drunk. If there is a question in your mind do a quick grope or throw some surprise light on the subject, it may be YOU who ends up with the bigger surprise.

10. Take a look at her friends. Ladyboys tend to run and hunt in packs like wolves. If her group of friends are obvious katoeys themselves then your little lady may be one as well.

I’m sure this list isn’t comprehensive and there are other ways to tell if your prospective hookup is a katoey or ladyboy. Please leave a comment if you have other ways that you use to figure out if she is really a he or if you have some interesting or fun stories about the katoeys and ladyboys of Thailand.

Popularity: 100% [?]

« Previous Page — Next Page »