I first went to Thailand in 1997 and immediately fell in love with the country. Thailand at that time to me was mysterious and exotic, full of potentials and pitfalls.
Fast forward to 2010 and here I am after 13 years and many trips to the LOS sharing, with the help of my 
10 Clues That She is a Ladyboy or Katoey
Written some time ago, this post is still one of the most popular on Thailand Musings so I thought I would resurrect it from the archives for your enjoyment and comments.
Have you heard the term katoey or ladyboy before? These creatures have been encountered by many first timers (and even some second and third timers) in Bangkok, Phuket and Pattaya, much to the chagrin of the unsuspecting mark. What is a katoey? It is quite simply a transsexual or transvestite and they are quite common in Thailand.
The thing is that many of the Thai ladyboys are actually quite beautiful and unless you know what to look for can be easy to miss, even if you are close up and personal with them. Of course copious amounts of alcohol doesn’t help matters, so here I’ve put together the top 10 ways to spot a ladyboy or katoey when you’re in Thailand. Avoid reading this list at your own peril.
1. Look at your new friends hands and feet. Thai girls typically are small and their hands and feet are very small and petite to match. If the girl has lumberjack hands or size 12 heels on there is a distinct possibility she is a he.
2. Look for an Adams apple. Girls don’t have them, not ever.
3. Too much makeup. Thai girls generally wear very little if any makeup. If the girl has a thick layer of foundation on and enough makeup for a Vegas dancer then she is probably a ladyboy.
4. Tall. Thai girls are generally short, 5′ 4″ or less. If the girl is near to 6′ tall then either she is a model or a katoey. If she’s flirting with you (a foreign tourist), then the odds are she is NOT a model (unless you look like Brad Pitt), you are very likely being targeted by a ladyboy.
5. She is more beautiful than you can believe. If the girl is tall and beautiful and is NOT a model then it’s a good bet she is a ladyboy. Katoeys work very hard to make themselves as beautiful as possible, even going to the length of having surgery done. Eyes, lips, breasts, and even the cut and tuck, though from all accounts most katoeys are cross dressers without the final surgery.
6. If she has facial hair she is a katoey. Don’t laugh, I’ve actually seen guys dancing with girls that have a 5 o’clock shadow. Thai girls are for the most part hairless, even on their arms and legs and certainly on their faces.
7. Thai girls are very feminine, quite likely some of the most feminine women on the planet. If your girl is muscular or has a hard athletic body there is a chance that she is a katoey. This can be sometimes confusing because Cambodian girls are typically more muscular than Thai’s, but they are also generally very short and dark skinned.
8. If the girl has a penis (not TOO hard to figure out is it) then she is a ladyboy. Many katoeys will go for a grope of your crotch shortly after meeting you and this is the perfect chance for you to return the favor. Sometimes it isn’t as easy to tell if there is a bulge there or not as some ladyboys will go as far as to tuck or even tape their privates up underneath their crotch.
9. If she won’t undress in front of you or wants to have sex in the dark all the time she may be a katoey. Thai girls are shy in public, but can be quite forward in private and most have very little shyness when it comes to sex. I’ve heard stories of guys who had no idea they were with a ladyboy until the next morning which is actually believable if the girl wants to suck you off all night or do it from behind or if you’re that drunk. If there is a question in your mind do a quick grope or throw some surprise light on the subject, it may be YOU who ends up with the bigger surprise.
10. Take a look at her friends. Ladyboys tend to run and hunt in packs like wolves. If her group of friends are obvious katoeys themselves then your little lady may be one as well.
I’m sure this list isn’t comprehensive and there are other ways to tell if your prospective hookup is a katoey or ladyboy. Please leave a comment if you have other ways that you use to figure out if she is really a he or if you have some interesting or fun stories about the katoeys and ladyboys of Thailand.
Special thanks to Conan Stevens for providing the inspiration for this ladyboy article.
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OMG, this post is wrong on so many levels, I don’t know where to start. You’ve pigeon-holed, and stereotyped women into such a silly caricature you can’t help but laugh.
Some women have facial hair, some are 6 feet tall, and some have pronounced adams apples.
Likewise, some men don’t have facial hair, aren’t 6 feet tall, and have barely noticeable adam’s apples.
Geez.
Well, the post was partly written with tongue firmly in cheek. These are not stereotypes, but rather generalizations. They are also not generalizations about women, the post is about Thailand’s ladyboys.
I can assure you that you will not find very many (<1%) Thai women taller than 6 feet. They also do not have adam’s apples and Thai people (males and females) have very little body hair typically. My wife does not and has never had to shave her legs because the hair is so thin and fine. Without a very close inspection you wouldn’t even know that she has hair on her legs. And Thai women certainly do not have facial hair.
Perhaps you should visit Thailand sometime and you’ll find that the ladyboys there can be quite beautiful, both externally and internally. In addition, Thai culture is very accepting of transgender people which is why many foreign men unintentionally end up with ladyboys in Thailand. They are fooled because many of the ladyboys in Thailand are physically attractive and quite feminine. Of course some men are allowing themselves to be fooled, but that’s another story entirely.
Thank you, a refreshing hint of Thai culture and how to BE with the girls.
If you are a white skinned farang, and being swooned by a 6 foot ‘lady’ it is a lady boy who is interested in you. If you fall for a bar girl each night and that bar girl has been around with umpteen guys since that evening, does it really matter whether you sleep with a lady or a ladyboy? When you have had 3 tall glasses of alcohol, you could sleep with an aligator and get a great job down below.
I m 5 ft 2 oriental girl. I m very attrative with very large boobs. I am also quite athletic. In your comments you said lady boy could be mascular. I am born a girl but it annoys me so much that some paranoid english twats would call me a lady boy because it is a stereotype. If you look sightly different than the average oriental girls you must be a lady boy. One of these days Im going to beat the shit out of anybody who call me “that” again. Transexual comes in all races not just Thais, Chinese and other oriental races. Some of these twats who call me lady boy last week were with their girlfiends who look like men and are also fat and minging.
All Im sayin is your comment is in someways stereotyped thai/oriental and therefore some of us REAL WOMEN have been mistaken and it is very very annoying and people need to stop being so ignorant and judgemental. Perhaps I should be born with dark skin, jet black hair, flat chested and have flat nose than maybe people are not gonna think I m a ladyboy.
Seriously this thing about looking out for ladyboy need to stop cos its nasty and make iditots more paranoid!!!
@ Siamgoody – Not sure I would want to let an alligator near my privates (all those teeth..yikes!), but I get your point
@ Angela – Sorry that this has offended you, but as I said earlier it was written partly tongue in cheek. And idiots will be idiots no matter what they are told. Seriously though when I say ladyboys look muscular I mean manly type muscular and unless you are an elite level athlete there is no way you would have the type of physique a man has. Additionally, I can’t imagine I would ever mistake a 5′ 2″ girl as a ladyboy…it’s quite rare to find any man that short. In no way would I say that if you are slightly different than the norm should you be thought of as a ladyboy…many ladyboys are actually quite beautiful and those that are noticeable usually look quite a bit different from the norm. I guess the takeaway is to simply ignore the idiots and the farang with the fat minging gf’s since you’ll likely never see them again anyway and how much weight can you really put on their opinions. YOU know the truth and the thoughts and opinions of strangers are typically not worth wasting your energy.
Your Ladyboy article is quite interesting, but the last 10 years visiting Thailand, i would love to share some of my experiences.
Hands and Feet are probably the best giveaway, but i have seen Ladyboys with small hands and feet and if wearing heels, very difficult to establish wide masculine feet.
If they can do the gender op for 50000 baht, shaving the adams apple is a breeze.
Most Farangs are used to seeing makeup on western girls, so with a couple of ales in em and bar lighting, they probably wouldnt pick up on it.
Ive seen many Stunning Ladyboys Sub 5ft 5 so dont think the short sexy girl is a given, but more often, as you say there usually tallish.
I will agree that there more beautiful than you can belive, and in my opinon that really should be the first warning if your not into ladyboys. Ive never seen the Facial Hair or Five’O Clock shaddow, but if your out till 5 O clock youre probably not going to be to fussy anyway.
Ive noticed that if a ladyboy wants to fool the farang they usually stay pretty quiet as in not talk to much, and are carful how they laugh.
Basically if your new in town, had a few drinks and shes a post op, you’ve got little chance of discovering that you’ve been had by a layboy.
Oh and Thai girls usually can tell no Prob ham.
Hi Mark,
Thanks for the comments and I think you’re spot on. In the case of the more attractive ladyboy’s, if they don’t want you to know there is a good chance you won’t find out. I’ve even heard stories (unsubstantiated) of guys that have spent a night with one without finding out until the next morning or even only after weeks of seeing them,
And yes, for some reason Thai girls can spot them straight away. My wife always likes to have fun at my expense with that little trick.
I understand where you are coming from in your article, but I must agree with Beth about the way you’ve stereotyped women. On top of that, the thing that struck me was how negatively-toned the article is. I realise you’re trying to be tongue-in-cheek, and I don’t want to be the “fun-police” by saying that everything needs to be politically correct. But the whole way the article is framed is with the assumption that “Oh my god no man would EVER want to have a gorgeous, attractive ladyboy come on to him! That would be the worst thing in the world!”
As you’ve mentioned, Thai culture is more accepting of transgenderism than Western cultures — so why can’t straight men who are visiting Thailand be too? Why can’t they just allow themselves to be attracted to whomever they are attracted to, rather than stressing and being paranoid about whether this person is really a woman or not?
Hey Benny,
Well of course if you don’t mind or are looking for a good time, regardless of gender then I see no reason to be stressed. I’ve never really been stressed about it, I actually have had very good times partying with kathoeys, they tend to be much more open and gregarious than others, especially westerners. The fact of the matter is, many men are NOT interested in having anything to do with kathoeys and are in fact threatened by them (some homophobic crap I guess). Yes, the article was written tongue in cheek, but it was written to poke fun at the guys as much as anything else.
Want to see a counterpoint? Why not write a “10 ways to get a Kathoey in Bed” article for me and I’ll post it up? That would be fun and generate a whole lot of discussion I’d bet.
That is a pretty funny, but I have been to Thailand many times and I think its fairly easy to spot the lady boys as long as you have your wits about you.
Great list, but you left off #11.
I always tell my friends in Bangkok that a Katoey can hide all 10 you’ve listed above – either through surgery or other creative manipulations, but the one thing they can’t hide (before you undress them) is their tongue.
As a last restort, the foolproof way to tell is to kiss her. If she’s feminine and beautiful and shoves a big man-tongue into your mouth, you know for sure what you’re dealing with.
It takes a bit of commitment on your part to get to that level of information gathering.
Thanks,
Crazy Horse (http://westernmaninasia.blogspot.com/)
those who against you means mostly those are from thailand of course to protect them. dont quit well this is true anyway. t hanks for those tips hope more foreigners will keep on reading before they go to this prosti place
Nice list but here’s a few additions
Most katoey have very deep voices but can disguise it. Tip – tickle them when they’re not expecting it and observe the pitch of their response!
Most bargirls dress very low key, usually cheaper clothes. Most katoey wear nice dresses or expensive (relatively) clothes.
Most katoey walk and act overly feminine, like a catwalk model, trying too hard to look sexy. Normal bargirls don’t.
Many katoey have large tits (but not all) and most bargirls don’t.
If you’re getting lots of smiles from strangers as you walk past proudly with this cracking bit of stuff on your arm, they probably know something you don’t!
And finally on a personal note, if your Dad says ‘coorrr she’s fit! Let’s have a beer in this bar!’ you’ve guessed it – it’s a geezer!!
I would love to meet a katoey and have a relationship with her…but she must be totally feminine and with the psyche of a woman even though she may have that little bit extra.
Niejar, that’s just weird!
Wow…I have heard of Lady Boys when my countries Big Brother show was hosted there few years ago…and when I saw them on TV well if the speaker didn’t point out he was speaking to a LadyBoy I never would have guessed that actually she is a he…I mean if someone into that sort of thing I will try not to judge..but tricking someone into going with them without explaining what they are 1st…that is really LOW…so Steve thx a lot for writing this post…
The comment above by the author (Steve) , where he suggested someone write an article, “10 ways to get a Kathoey in Bed” is ironic. It’s funny because in Pattaya or BKK or anywhere in Thailand the Katoey’s are the ones pushing harder than anyone to get YOU into bed… The article could be, “1 way to get a Katoey in bed” and could be summed up with, “Goto nightspot area, stand there.” -FOXY
“I’ve heard stories of guys…” – Come on, everyone knows what you really mean, could you make it any more obvious? I was actually Rohypnol’d by a (post-op) katoey so I know how it feels, although I’m not too afraid to admit it. YES I HAVE BEEN RAPED BY A KATOEY. I don’t remember much due to intoxication but I think I may have enjoyed it. Needless to say I still punched him/her/it in the face the next morning.
I know this post is old, but I thought I would add a tip. Ask the to hold their arm straight out (Elbow locked, palm facing upwards)
A mans arm will always be straight, and a woman’s arm will always have slight bend outwards.
There is NOT a surgery that can replicate this.
Good luck and have fun.
It may be an old post, but the information is still relevant and your tip is greatly appreciated Chuck. Thanks for dropping by and taking the time to comment.
why avoid them embrace the ladyboys
Adams Apples can be removed with surgery and quite frankly if a male starts early enough with the hormones it is really hard to tell. But there is one for-sure test that does involve any groping down there
If your a man take your index finger and feel up your neck where your spine is. Notice that your spine goes into your skull and you have a big bump just above that. Now feel the back of a girls neck in the same area… it is smooth and has no big bump. Tried and tested many times and no fails yet.
I always wondered when my physical anthropology class would come in handy.
Now I’m sorry I always skipped out on my physical anthropology class
Thanks for the tip Zen!
Ummm… Here’s a great way to not have any issues over “ladyboys” DON’T GO TO THAILAND FOR SEX! IF YOU CAN’T GET LAID BACK HOME THEN MAYBE YOU NEED TO FOCUS MORE EFFORT ON IMPROVING YOURSELF AND LESS ON DISTINGUISHING A LADYBOY FROM A REAL WOMAN!! I get the humourous side to this article… and agree with most of what was written but if this is truly a concern for you as an indivual, mistaking a ladyboy for a woman is truly the least of your problems… THAT, and lets face it, if you are attracted enough to get a hard-on and actually go through with the act then WHO CARES if it turns out it was a male afterall? You obviously enjoyed it… maybe you’re not as “straight” as you thought… what’s the big deal? If you’re attracted, you’re attracted… get over it!
I’m glad you appreciate the humor in the post, but I would like to point out that some people don’t go to Thailand JUST for sex. And while there it’s possible they may go out to a club or a disco the same as they would back in their home countries. And quite possibly they have no problem getting laid in either place, but don’t appreciate being deceived and taken advantage of by someone posing as something they are not?
I don’t think that being attracted to a person you THINK is female, who is in reality male, makes you a homosexual either. Now if you are fully aware that it’s a guy and you go ahead then maybe you do need to re-evaluate your sexual preferences. In either case I’m certainly not the one to judge…because that’s not my purpose.
I laughed so hard through this.. great job.